I am moving over from the April board, I am so sorry for all your losses.
It has been a difficult couple of days for us. I would have been 8 and 1\2 weeks along. On Sunday I started spotting on Monday we went in for an ultrsound there was no heartbeat. We were crushed, baby measured 6 weeks 5 days. We had seen our little beans heartbeating at 6 weeks 2 days.
Yesterday I was able to have a d&e. I was an add on case so waiting for hours. By that point my body was doing its own thing, it was the worst pain of my life, they gave me meds that helped.
Once I had got to the OR it was mostly ready to be taken. I was so scared to do this at home just wish I could have got in a few hours earlier, it took 3 hours of waiting from being addmitted to the OR.
Waking up I was so relieved no pain then the DR who did my procedure, told me right then, it was probably a chromosome issue and I had a 1 in 3 chance of this happening again!
She just crushed me, I was feeling so happy it was over, then so sad. It was like she ended my dream of having a healthy child. This was our first. I just turned 38 on Saturday.
My poor DH, she told him this too and asked him to re tell me as I may not remember, he was like." Please tell me you did not say that? This is what she most worries about". He was praying all the way up to recovery that I would not remember.
We are hertbroken, we know our baby is with God, we have support of family and friends, we will try again, and live in hope that we will have a healthy child.
One of the hardest things for me is seeing my husband so broken, we are together, sharing emotions for which I am thankful but its so hard. I miss my little Bean so much, I want him back. I am scared, sad, angry and exhausted.
I hope this board will be helpful, that I can be a support for you ladies and that we can help each other through this most difficult time.
BFP #1 7/25/13. MMC 8/26/13 8 weeks 5days
BFP #2 11/5/13 chemical pregnancy 11/9/13
BFP #3 12/28/13 "Our HOPE baby"