Working Moms

Vacation with DH and no DS?

I am looking for some perspective from some similarly situated moms.  DH and I have been talking about taking a mini-vacation in the spring for 3 or 4 nights, and leaving DS at home with his grandmothers.  DS will be 8 months old or so.  I am 90% comfortable with this, but am still having a little bit of an issue. 

On one hand, DS will still be nursing hopefully, but I figure I can just pump as though I were out of town for work.  I haven't traveled for work yet, but I suppose I could at any point.  If I don't have a work trip, though, it may be the first time I am leaving DS overnight, which could be pretty difficult.  DH has had a few work trips, and he is pretty upset to leave DS when he does.  But, you do what you have to do.  And, when I mentioned a possible trip to my boss when we went out for a drink after work a month back or so, he couldn't believe that I would voluntarily leave DS before he was a year.  (But, he's older and he doesn't have kids.)  It made me feel kind of bad to even think about it.

On the other hand, we think it would be great to get away and have some alone time as a couple, not as mom and dad.  We could take DS and a babysitter with us, but it would certainly change the dynamic of the trip. 

We work pretty hard and spend almost all our free time with DS right now.  I think I may feel bad to take some time off and not spend it with DS, and I'll really miss him.  I do so want to just enjoy a trip with my husband, too.

Anyone done this or have any thoughts?  On either the nursing part or the just getting away part?

Re: Vacation with DH and no DS?

  • My daughter was 9 months old when my husband and I went to a wedding in VA, leaving her with my inlaws. I was really looking forward to husband and wife time, while still a little nervous about leaving her. My inlaws had spent plenty of time with her, so I knew she would be fine. By the time we made it to VA, I was having a physical reaction to being away from her. My hands were shaking, my heart was racing, my stomach was in knots... but yet my thoughts were calm. I would definately recommend at least one overnight trip away before your mini-vacation... you will probably be a nervous wreck the first time... and you don't want it to ruin the vacation with your husband.

    In terms of the nursing part, I was done nursing my daughter by the time we took the trip so I don't have any advice there.

  • We did 3 nights away (driving - not flying) when DS was 7 months and 4 nights away when DS was 16 months.  We missed him a lot but it was so nice to have time to spend alone with each other and just doing a few things for ourselves.  I highly recommend it! 
  • Loading the player...
  • Definitely do it!! It's such a good thing to do for your marriage, and he'll be in good hands with the grandparents.

    I know the first night I spent away from my DD was very weird though (work trip) so you may want to do a 1 night stay away first, but definitely take the trip  =)

    My two PCOS miracles! Lilypie Kids Birthday tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • First time I left DS overnight he was two months old.

    Take the vacation.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • It's definitely understandable to want some time alone with your DH, so don't feel bad about that! 

    I agree with doing a trial run.  How does your DS do with your mom and MIL? 

    On the nursing part, I personally would be scared to go that many days without DS, but DS is a little high maintenance when it comes to bedtimes and being without me.  Last night was the first night that DH put DS to bed by himself and it was rough on both of them.  I'm usually nurse him before bed.  DS refused to take a bottle (even though he takes them all day at daycare) and cried a lot before DH was able to get him to sleep.  So I'd be nervous about leaving him for a couple of days, but I'm sure plenty of other kids would be fine!  I'll have to travel for work and have another night out planned in February, so I hope it gets easier.

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I think a mini get-away is good and even healthy.  Pumping and storing milk is an excellent way to handle the BM.  Its a wonderful treat for grandmas and baby.
    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Done it and trust me, best thing ever.  Your DS will be totally fine for that time period.  Think of what is the WORST that can happen?  He gets sick, your mom or MIL would have a power of attorney to take him to the dr and he gets care.  Or he misses you and is fussy for a bit.  But he will likely not be fussy for long.  Of all the marriages of our friends that we've seen, the one that appears to be the most connected is the couple who makes is a priority to take 2 vacations every year -- one as a family and one as a couple sans kids.   We left DD for 2-3 nights when she was 5 mos and all was well, even though MIL took her to the dr for a fever (which turned out to be nothing).


    image
    DD -- 5YO
    DS -- 3YO

  • Thanks for your thoughts and the advice! 

    A trial night is a very good idea.  Someone else has put DS to sleep a few times and it seems to work OK without nursing when we need it to, and DS does very well with both my mom and MIL.  And he LOVES my little sister, so maybe she could stay with him one night, too.

    I think we'll do it!  Now if we can just figure out where to go and the best time for work...

  • First, your marriage is totally worth it.  You are doing your DC a disservice if you don't take care of your marriage too.

    Second, it's only 3-4 days and he's at a great age to leave him.  He has no concept of time and will be left in loving arms. 

  • Honestly, I would wait until you're done nursing, or at least a little longer than 8 months. Yes, you can pump while you're gone, but what fun is it to deal with that while you're away?

    If it's a one-shot thing where 8 months is really the only available window, then I would take it -- you'll make do. But if you can wait even just a few months longer, nursing will be a much different story.

    To give you an idea, I had a one-day business trip when DD was 9 months old. I was still pumping every 3-4 hours, so I was constantly trying to find time and places to pump. I ended up bringing home about 30 oz of milk. My next business trip was a five-day trip the week after DD's birthday. By that time, we were down to AM/PM nursing, so I just pumped when I first woke up and then when I got back to the hotel at night -- so easy. I brought home about 30 oz of milk from the whole week.

    Like I said, if it's 8 months or not at all, then go for it. It's really only the nursing that's an issue, IMO -- you'll miss DS whether he's 8 months old or 8 years old. But if there's any way to wait a few months, nursing will be even less of an issue and then you'll really have no excuse for not going! Smile

    Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"