Possibly Jumping the Gun....

msBlackandGold

I know that second showers are frowned upon, and especially since I have a 20mo DD (and don't know what LO is yet), I don't need anything. So, I guess I would simply decline any offer.....

But when I was pregnant with DD, my ILs lived OOT, and towards the end of pregnancy, I was not on good terms with the females in my IL family. This was because I said that only DH would be in the delivery room with me (MIL thought that EVERYONE should be allowed in, or at least she should), and that I didn't want guests staying in our house the first week we bring home baby (MIL, FIL and SIL's feelings were hurt because we were "keeping the baby from them.") 

Because of all this, MIL, SIL neither AILs came to my shower. MIL said that if I wanted her at my shower, I had to let her in the deliver room....so no shower for her. 

Well, now we are all on good terms (no mention of barging in my delivery room, or trying to stay with me after LO is born), and SIL lives in town. Since they missed the baby shower for DD, a co-worker mentioned that DH's family might want to throw a shower for this LO since they missed out on the first one. (My co-worker threw a shower for her son when he came in town since he missed his wife's first baby shower).

LO is due in March, so I don't know about having a meet the baby (didn't have one with DD---she was born in Dec). 

Thoughts?  

Meery82

Darbie914 said:

While I can understand wanting them to be more involved this go-around, their prior immaturity does not mean another shower is an appropriate event.  

I'd say no.

This. I personally wouldn't want anything from them since they were such a-holes with your first baby.

sschwege

I don't like second showers at all and really don't think there are exceptions to this.  It's kind of a sticky situation though because you are now on better terms with them and I'm sure you wouldn't want it to come across as you being petty and not wanting to give them a second chance.  

If let's say, your MIL offers, what if you said something like, "Gosh, that's so thoughtful of you.   But honestly there is nothing we need for the new baby.  Maybe instead all of the ladies (MIL, SIL, AIL) could get together to spend some time together before the baby is born.  Have lunch, tea, spa day, whatever."

Nicolewinsbingo

If they offered, I would say yes. (if they really sincerely seemed to want to have one)

I would just keep it to ONLY the ILs and only those who didn't come last time. Maybe 10 ladies or so, very modest.

EastCoastBride

I don't see at all why this means a 2nd shower.  I don't understand why showers have taken on this "aura" that they are these EVENTS that OMG!!!!!, they just can't be missed and if someone did miss a shower- it needs to somehow be made up to them...???

That makes no sense to me. 

IF your MIL suggests a shower, the only thing I'd agree to is a SMALL shower for her side of the family.  That's it. 

Nicolewinsbingo

I meant to add on my last post that I would say yes to keep the peace with the ILs.

lollipoppoop

Meery82 said:

Darbie914 said:

While I can understand wanting them to be more involved this go-around, their prior immaturity does not mean another shower is an appropriate event.  

I'd say no.

This. I personally wouldn't want anything from them since they were such a-holes with your first baby.

Exactly!

RedSoxGirl10

I have to say I don't think its worth getting in a fight about something else this time. I'd say yes but just say you don't want anyone invited who was there last time. Maybe it could be a book shower or something, since you don't need anything else? 

divinemsbee

My only question is how do you know it won't play out like last time? Also, they haven't offered, and I'd be hesitant to take anything they offered because "we threw you a shower so that means we should get to be in the room" seems like a possibility.

msBlackandGold

I wasn't "worried" about it, I just wondered what others thought. Yes, it was brought up by a co worker, not by an IL, so at this point it really is a non-issue. But before it became an issue, I wanted to have some perspective.

I appreciate the feedback !

Michelle N

Definitely jumping the gun.