I am so frustrated about mealtimes. I think its fairly normal toddler behavior, but I dont know what the right solution is. We used to have it so easy for a while, no problems. But in the past few weeks its always the same story.
I will usually ask J if he wants what I'm making for breakfast/lunch/dinner and he will say "Yes!! Yummy!!" And when I put the plate in front of him he refuses to eat it. He will ask for crackers or cheese, or anything not on his plate. I am currently in the mindset that if he doesn't want what I made him, then he doesn't get anything else. Otherwise it wastes food and teaches him that he gets whatever he wants. If he does eat his food he gets to help choose a snack later. But, I usually save his food and if he wants a snack later he gets the plate back, even if he doesn't want it.
But recently, he doesn't eat, and then he won't eat his food later for a snack. And when nap/bedtime rolls around he begs for a snack and is clearly hungry. But I tell him no, and remind him about the food he could have eaten, and he gets upset, and I feel terrible.
So, am I being a totally mean mom? What would you do? Let him have something different at lunch time, and be a short order cook? Or let him have a different snack later and throw the lunch away? Let him starve like he sometimes does? He's already on he low end of the weight scale, so I mostly just feel like a terrible mother!
J is like this quite often. You tell him it is time for *insert meal here* and he'll sit there and say "No *insert meal here*! J don't like it!" (He speaks in the 3rd person a great deal, he's starting to break out of that). We sometimes ask what he'd want for breakfast or lunch, you go through EVERY option in the house and it is a "NO!" We typically just make something then and put it in front of him. There have been a few times he refuses to eat and starts throwing the food on the floor, we tell him if he does it again, he doesn't eat for the rest of the night (this is typically dinner behavior). J isn't hurting in terms of size, so we aren't as concerned and he usually eats an abnormally large breakfast the next morning, but he's got to learn his behavior isn't acceptable and if he chooses to go hungry, it is on him.
i do exactly what you are doing. then before bed when he is begging for food, i again give him the food that he previously refused. if he is hungry, he will eat it.
also, i generally offer at least one food per meal that i know he likes. this way i know if he refuses, its him being stubborn, not that i gave him all foods he dislikes.
DS does this sometimes too. I usually re-offer for snack but not the next meal.
Like if I give him a yogurt for breakfast and I and he refuses I put it back in the fridge. When he asks for snack I give him the yogurt again, if he refuses it I don't give him something else. I will give him his normal lunch though (not offer the yogurt again - although if DD or I haven't' eaten it I will offer it again for afternoon snack).
I do exactly what you do. She like breakfast and lunch food though, so our only issue is dinner sometimes. If she doesn't want it, then it goes in the fridge and if she asks for food later I tell her she can have dinner or nothing. Sometimes picks nothing, but if she's really hungry she'll eat dinner.
We keep As portion sizes small on his plate. 3-4 pieces of meat, 2 veggie pieces, small piece of bread. Fruit is our desert so it doesn't make it's appearance until he is done with dinner. We usually give him one thing we know he will eat but in a small quantity. As he eats we keep refilling his plate. So if I notice he's in a broccoli mood I will slip him another piece or two of broccoli. If he's digging the meat I'll just add some while he's eating. If he's outright refusing the meal except for the one thing we know he likes and gobbles it and asks for more we negotiate (or bribe) and tell him he has to eat 1 bite of X and X and then give him a little more of what he wants. It's a bit time consuming but he does well with it. If his plate is full or large portioned he mostly just plays with his good or only eats one thing and refuses the rest. We don't do snacks between meals unless we are out and about and meal times are off because of going out to eat or whatever. I find that it's kept him pretty interested in his foods (although may be a but of a UO because i think most of the people i know give snacks to little ines) If I am noticing he's going through a growth spurt or if we have done something particularly active then we may do a small light snack but we usually don't eat between meals, whenever I tried to incorporate a snack (even if its just veggies or fruit) I could guarantee the next meal he would eat less than normal.
We always make sure there is at least one thing he really likes on his plate at each mealtime. But other than that if he doesn't eat it then too bad.
Dinner is definitely our roughest meal since it is so different each day and usually more "grown-up food" than DS prefers, but oh well. I know he eats a decent breakfast, lunch and at least 1 snack per day - so if he barely touches his dinner because it's not his absolute favorite thing to eat then I can't stress about it too much.
Well, he asked for snack just as we were getting ready for nap. He ended up eating pretty much everything on his lunch plate. I really don't get it. It's not like it's food he doesn't like, clearly he will eat it. And I don't think it's because he just isn't hungry at the time, because he will beg me for other food during meal times. Bleh.
We went through that for months and are now on the other side. The trick I used was to put at least one thing I knew she would eat on the plate so if she refused the the rest I knew she would at least get something in her belly.
Our pedi told us just keep offering healthy foods and be patient, it took months but finally she is back to eating her veggies and will now take a vitamin.
Hang in there!
Oct Angel*BFP 1/25/14 * EDD 10/6/14 * US#1 2/26/14 *US#2 3/3/14 no heartbeat*d&c 3/12/14*
Yep, we've definitely had this too. I also try to give him fairly small portions for everything but veggies. In our house, we strongly stress eating the veggies so if he asks to get down without really eating, I ask him to at least eat his veggies and then remind him no other snacks. He usually eats dinner then, but if not, it does come up for snack later. I do try very hard though to make sure at least one thing on his plate is something he enjoys.
"Yucky" and "Gross" are words we know too well at our house. I always put something I know he'll eat on his plate, usually fruit. When I cook our meals, if it's something in a sauce, etc, I try to leave his plain and deconstruct it on the plate. Like we have shiska bobs and Nate has baked chicken, pinapples, apple slices, and bell pepper. I also tell him foods are things he likes. Like if noodles are involved, it's "mac and cheese" and if chicken is involved, it's cut up into "nuggets". Usually if we can convince him to just try it, he eats it all. I also bribe if he's really gone awhile with no meat/veggies. A M&M for eaten chicken or a cookie for a quarter cup of green beans. All snacks are just extensions of meals pretty much - fresh fruit, raw veggies, yogurt, cheese. If he does choose not to eat, then we just say, "You're going to be awfully hungry until (next meal).
Putting things on his plate that we know he likes is usually not the issue. He is really not picky. He just decides that he doesn't want to eat. He would rather have ANYTHING other than what's on his plate. I could put marshmallows on there and he would ask for something different.
I'm hoping its just a phase. It seems like every time I post here about an issue that is driving me nuts, the issue just resolves itself in a week or two. lol
Re: Mealtime Madness
We don't do snacks between meals unless we are out and about and meal times are off because of going out to eat or whatever. I find that it's kept him pretty interested in his foods (although may be a but of a UO because i think most of the people i know give snacks to little ines)
If I am noticing he's going through a growth spurt or if we have done something particularly active then we may do a small light snack but we usually don't eat between meals, whenever I tried to incorporate a snack (even if its just veggies or fruit) I could guarantee the next meal he would eat less than normal.
We always make sure there is at least one thing he really likes on his plate at each mealtime. But other than that if he doesn't eat it then too bad.
Dinner is definitely our roughest meal since it is so different each day and usually more "grown-up food" than DS prefers, but oh well. I know he eats a decent breakfast, lunch and at least 1 snack per day - so if he barely touches his dinner because it's not his absolute favorite thing to eat then I can't stress about it too much.
I'm hoping its just a phase. It seems like every time I post here about an issue that is driving me nuts, the issue just resolves itself in a week or two. lol