When will it stop?

redneckmomma25

This guilt! I knew I shouldn't have read the responses when my SIL posted on FB asking for BF advice. My brother is anti vaccine blah blah blah. So of course formula is the devil and breast feeding is the only option. I already feel terrible that formula increases risks for child hood obesity and both H and I are over weight. I know the guilt is stemming from me. I just can't make it go away. Every turn of a page there is some sort of reminder of my failure.

AKB090609

You are not a failure! I am sorry that other peoples opinions are causing you to feel guilt about how you feed your daughter. I am also sure that you and your DH are doing everything in your power to make sure that you are teaching Grace healthy habits as she grows. ::creepy Internet hugs::

KellersPrag

You are absolutely not a failure, and have no reason to feel guilty. I wish it was that easy, that you could just stop. But G is very happy and healthy, and she is fed! You are a wonderful mother.

MommaP12

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way @redneckmomma25.  Mommy guilt comes in way too many forms - it's always something.

It's hard to make it go away on your own but you have to remind yourself that you are a great mom who provided for her child in the best way fit.  MILLIONS of babies are FF and are healthy, happy, and fit.  Hugs to you.

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Holly_1007

Aw man, sorry you are still feeling that way G is happy and healthy and that's all that matters!

watercolor5

If I had to pick between vaccines and BFing, I'd choose vaccines every time.  And so would every pediatrician, ever.  Don't do the mommy guilt thing, your daughter is well taken care of and lucky to have you.

jocymama

You have nothing to feel guilty about. G is happy and healthy and that is what matters. And it is not like you are feeding her only pop and candy bars all day, it is formula, there are a lot of kids that were formula fed that are not obese. Block or at least hide those people that make you feel that way, you are an awesome mom!

ellebee2

Are there benefits to BFing? Sure! But you know what is more important than that - having a child that is fed, loved, happy, and growing. And a mama that is happy and healthy too. That's what matters here. So BFing didn't work out for you for whatever reason (doesn't really matter). Life goes on. And from what I can see on IG, you've got the whole fed, loved, happy, growing thing down pat. G is lucky to have you as a mama!

Side note: I think everyone - FF or BF - needs to do what they can to raise their child(ren) in a healthy manner, and teach good nutrition and healthy habits (like regular physical activity). That is what will help reduce childhood obesity. Nothing to do with BF vs FF.

MommaP12

ellebee2 said:

Side note: I think everyone - FF or BF - needs to do what they can to raise their child(ren) in a healthy manner, and teach good nutrition and healthy habits (like regular physical activity). That is what will help reduce childhood obesity. Nothing to do with BF vs FF.

I think this is such a great point.  It doesn't matter if she was BF or FF.  What matters is you teach her good habits like eating fruit, veggies instead of junk, not making food a reward or comfort and instilling exercise.  I try to do that with my kids and it in turn makes me healthier.  That's what it's really about.

KKSBeans

You have nothing to feel guilty for ! G is happy and healthy and that's what matters. I did not breast feed and I was not breast fed. I am not overweight, but come from a strong family history of obesity. I do not buy everything they dish out in regards to breast feeding vs formula.

You did the best you could and did what was best for you and your daughter, You should never be made to feel guilty about your choices.

kelbel527

MommaP12 said:

ellebee2 said:

Side note: I think everyone - FF or BF - needs to do what they can to raise their child(ren) in a healthy manner, and teach good nutrition and healthy habits (like regular physical activity). That is what will help reduce childhood obesity. Nothing to do with BF vs FF.

I think this is such a great point.  It doesn't matter if she was BF or FF.  What matters is you teach her good habits like eating fruit, veggies instead of junk, not making food a reward or comfort and instilling exercise.  I try to do that with my kids and it in turn makes me healthier.  That's what it's really about.

I'm in total agreement with these ladies!  But to answer your original question - Mom guilt is a daily part of my life (for one thing or another) and I've just learned to manage it.  I felt guilty that I BF'd DS2 longer than DS1.  But in turn, I feel guilty that DS2 doesn't get the one on one attention DS1 got when he was little. 

It's all about how you handle it.  I feel it, but I don't let it change how I feel about my parenting.  I know I'm a good mom because I love my boys and give them everything I can.  You should feel great, because you're raising an adorable little girl and giving her all your love. 

redneckmomma25

Thanks ladies. Just having a really crappy day today.

jhasselt

Don't listen to people who make you feel guilty.  The number one priority is that you are happy and DD is healthy!  She's getting nutrition from a loving mother either way!  You're a good mama!  *hugs*

miss50

Do these make you feel better?

Also, G has been walking FOREVER and hitting all her milestones.  There is nothing to worry about! 

YGM!

LyndseylovesHugh

watercolor5 said:

If I had to pick between vaccines and BFing, I'd choose vaccines every time.  And so would every pediatrician, ever.  Don't do the mommy guilt thing, your daughter is well taken care of and lucky to have you.

I totally agree with this!  I side eye him for being anti-vaccine and do not side eye you in the least bit for formula feeding.  And FWIW, I was formula fed, my H was formula fed, all of his siblings were, and none of us are overweight because our parents taught us proper nutrition.  Just work on teaching your DD proper nutrition, eat healthy yourself, be active and she will be fine.  You are a great mom, she is happy and healthy and that is all that matters!

MommaP12

@redneckmomma25 when I'm feeling bad about myself or having a bad day (which is way too often lately) I have to back away from the Facebook because it just makes me feel that much worse sometimes.  Hang out here in the safe bubble of S12 on those days who thinks your a great mom no matter what!

Hyaline

You know, I think occasionally feeling guilty as a mom means you're doing a good job--you give a rat and when you're unsure you've done enough, you worry and feel guilty. So don't feel guilty for feeling guilty, KWIM?  Process it, dump it where it belongs, and keep on being an awesome mom.

melody921

I know it's hard, but try to tune people out and focus on the fact that you have your LO's best interests at heart. I had to wean my son earlier than I wanted, and sometimes I still struggle with guilt over this and he's 3.5! But he's also smart, healthy and handsome (not that I'm biased, ha!), so only getting a few months of breastmilk obviously didn't do him any harm. I think the fact that I was very careful with developing healthy eating habits with him from a young age probably had a greater impact. DD is breastfed and has actually caught more minor illnesses her first year than DS ever did. Take it all with a grain of salt.

OceanLover26

I agree with everything above!  Sorry you are having a bad day.  **hugs**

MrsKipper

Echoing others, you are not a failure!! I refuse to believe that anyone that feeds their child is a failure! Your child is fed, therefore you are not a failure! G has an amazing mommy! Don't let crazy mommy war hawks make you think ANY different!

linzeek44

You only feel guilty because you care so much about G.

You are a great mom, and G seems so happy and healthy. Formula has nourished her to be happy and healthy. There shouldn't be any shame or guilt in that!

mrsbhk22

I'm sorry you feel guilt. Mommy guilt is the worst, especially when it's completely unfounded. I had a lot of guilt about FF my DS1. He's healthy as an ox now and not overweight either! I know it's just my experience so it's not representative of the whole breastfeeding population, but thought it might make you feel better. You do the best you can and hope it's good enough. Sounds like your LO is lucky to have you.

redneckmomma25

Thank you everyone. You guys are great.

dackelynn

Breastfeeding is often correlated with parents with high(er) income. Obesity is often correlated with parents with low income (just statistics here, no value judgements or commentary about class from me). Correlation is NOT causation - it's quite likely that there is absolutely no way that formula CAUSES obesity, just that there is that correlation. So keep doing your thing and don't feel bad!