Passing out written birth plans

beachgirl1977

Will you/ have you done this? A friend has mentioned writing hers several times and I asked if she would pass it out tho the nurses and she said yes. What is the point? If you want music and to walk, you don't need a paper saying that? She talks about asking them not to do any non medically necessary tests right afterwards but really what would they do that is non medically necessary? That have to check some stuff. I guess I feel like they do this everyday and if I want something I will let my husband or the nurses know. I also had 2 c/s where I didn't hold my baby until recovery about 90 minutes later. A quick glance and then they took the baby t the nursery while they fixed me up. I worry it would annoy the nurses to get a lots of demands,

shelley1002

That's ridiculous.  Just tell the nurses what you want and have your H be your advocate for things you do/don't want.

And very rarely do birth plans work out anyway.

kdjudd

I think a birth plan should be short and to the point. If you want to go natural and don't want to be bothered about it I guess you could politely mention that you don't want to be given the option of medication or if you want to delay vaccines, eye ointment, or newborn screenings then I can understand having one for that. Other than that though I don't see much of a point. 

lbethke99

Mine birth plan was pretty simple. My dr actually gave me a sheet with a pre made birth plan on it with questions on it like if we want lo to be circ, if I wanted pain meds & so on. It also had a spot to add anything I felt I wanted to add. 

The only thing I will add this time is that I would love if the nurses could help find better positions for me to help to deal with pain.  

EmJ&B

Not planning to do this . . . the chances of things going according to plan seem very slim.

BMnatz11

I wrote a "plan" the last time only because it was part of our prepared childbirth class. I did not take it with me to the hospital. When I checked in, they asked all the questions and what I wanted anyway, so it was logged in the computer. Different nurses would ask if I wanted meds, or whatever at different points of labor, and I would politely decline. That was that, they didn't push it. This time, one of my prenatal appointments was with the nurse practitioner and it is already logged that I don't want meds/epi, etc. I'm sure they will ask again while I'm in labor, but they can ask all the want - I don't mind.

tracysailer

I was talking to a L&D nurse of 25 years at a BBQ the other day and the first thing she said was "whatever you do don't bring in one of those silly birth plans"  She said that in her experience it's better to talk to the RN about your preferences and make it known upfront than to bring in a list of demands.  For the record, I've seen some of those birth plans and there are reasons that you are remanded to bed, or not allowed to eat, or are on continuous fetal monitoring so sometimes it doesn't matter what you want.  If it's against best practices or an issue of liability and may harm you or the baby, they're not going to let you do it regardless of what you have written down.  

She said they have a running joke that the people with the longest most complicated birth plans are ALWAYS the ones who end up with a c-section.  They think it's the baby's way of letting them know that they better get used to NOT BEING IN CONTROL!! LOL!  

As a hospital RN (not L&D) all I can say is find out your options, be well informed and then don't be afraid to speak up if you need something! 

babygiantquest

We're making little goodie bags for our nurses, and I'll probably include an abbreviated copy of our birth "plan" in them.  Then again, the entire plan is only a half a page long, so it's nothing terribly complex to begin with.

finnybooboo

I feel like this is one of those fad things right now that you're "supposed" to do. I really don't plan to, but I'm also not planning on going natural which seems to me the biggest/most important thing you'd have on your list. Or maybe I just haven't done enough research???????? EEEEEKKKKK
:-S

marhuz

I think the purpose of the plan is two-fold. No, things aren't going to go perfectly the way you want and reality is what you think you want might change. But creating a plan (that is short and sweet) means you have to think about it ahead of time, talk to anyone who will be with you and your doctor. I've seen that as the biggest benefit. I created a draft plan, and have talked to my DH and doc about it.

I want them to understand my thoughts and I want to make sure I understand my options so that when we are in the thick of it and I might not be as clear headed as I would like, I know there are other people in the room who understand.

The other reason is that you don't know who will be present during L&D, and if there is a shift change going through everything again isn't something that I am going to want to deal with. I see it as a good tool to help my DH advocate for us when I might not be able to as clearly.

asilwhite

btimes3 said:

I'm considering throwing a batch of cookies or something in the oven when the contractions start, but it'll depend on how bad they are and how long it takes me to get to 311.  They may be day-old by the time we go to the hospital.

As far as what L&D nurses say we should do, they can say it all they want, and joke about it all they want if that's what tickles their funny bones.  I keep hearing that we don't have to have it written down, "just tell them."  I'm not sure why having the same few things printed on paper rather than (let's be real, in addition to) spoken aloud gets so many people's knickers in a twist under their scrubs, unless it's got something to do with having proof that the patient's wishes related to her medical care were expressed.  But that couldn't be it, right?

Yep, this is my feeling as well. Apparently me wanting to have my wishes about my medical care and the medical care of my baby known to the medical care providers gets people all up in arms. I'm not saying I know best (far from it), and am also not saying I'm going to be able to go with the flow but there are very specific things that I do and don't want that I want documented. Because when I'm in labor I'm not going to be in the state of mind to be telling people what I want. 

LetsGoToDisney

My birth plan is a single piece of paper with the names and photos of non-staff people allowed in the room before/during delivery and a statement of preference for non-medicated, tear naturally, vaginal birth. I packed a copy to tape on the outer door to my birthing suite. There is also a "clear the room" code in my chart. (If I tell the OB nurse my toes itch, she clears the room of non-essential people)

I love, love, love the goodie bag idea! I might just send a friend out for muffins. 

beachgirl1977

LetsGoToDisney said:

My birth plan is a single piece of paper with the names and photos of non-staff people allowed in the room before/during delivery and a statement of preference for non-medicated, tear naturally, vaginal birth. I packed a copy to tape on the outer door to my birthing suite. There is also a "clear the room" code in my chart. (If I tell the OB nurse my toes itch, she clears the room of non-essential people)

I love, love, love the goodie bag idea! I might just send a friend out for muffins. 

You are joking right? You expect the person trying to make sure your baby arrives healthy to remember that if your toes itch to tell people to leave. Do you realize how many different medical people may be in/ out of your room? Have your husband tell them. Or don't invite them.

beachgirl1977

The nurses also have better things to do then keep checking your pictures to see who can/can't be there. If its that big a deal that certain people aren't there, don't call when you go into labor,

beachgirl1977

LetsGoToDisney said:

My birth plan is a single piece of paper with the names and photos of non-staff people allowed in the room before/during delivery and a statement of preference for non-medicated, tear naturally, vaginal birth. I packed a copy to tape on the outer door to my birthing suite. There is also a "clear the room" code in my chart. (If I tell the OB nurse my toes itch, she clears the room of non-essential people)

I love, love, love the goodie bag idea! I might just send a friend out for muffins. 

You are joking right? I would much rather have the nurse caring for me and my unborn child then trying to. remember what the secret code is, have your husband tell them to leave. Or tell them yourself. If they can't respect your wished and privacy when you ask them to leave they shouldn't be there in the first place.

sfshorter

LetsGoToDisney said:

My birth plan is a single piece of paper with the names and photos of non-staff people allowed in the room before/during delivery and a statement of preference for non-medicated, tear naturally, vaginal birth. I packed a copy to tape on the outer door to my birthing suite. There is also a "clear the room" code in my chart. (If I tell the OB nurse my toes itch, she clears the room of non-essential people)

I love, love, love the goodie bag idea! I might just send a friend out for muffins. 

What if your toes just itch?  Like really itch?  And you say it and everyone just leaves?  

kimbo1216

I wrote one for DD.  It was for myself and my own research.  I was glad I did it and talked about it with DH.  But I did NOT hand it to the nurses.  I think that's silly.  Be up front with them.  Tell them what you want.  They can't do anything without your permission anyway.

kimbo1216

Just to add to this.  The most important person to know your preferences besides yourself is YH, imo.  He can be your advocate when you can't.  He can speak up when you are unable to.  Make sure he knows what's important.  Chances are that just because you have a written plan doesn't mean anyone will actually read it and remember what it says.  So you will have to speak up anyway.

Again, I'm no discouraging you to write one.  In fact, I say go for it!  I did and having done the research regarding my preferences really helped me when I was in labor.  But I just didn't see the point in passing it along to the nurses.  And I was fully able to communicate my preferences as they occurred.  The only things I made sure to point out ahead of time was my wish for delayed cord clamping and immediate skin-to-skin.

sfshorter

I think the key is making sure your DH, SO, FI, whoever, knows the process and knows what you prefer just in case something serious happens to you, in which case it really won't matter what you do and don't want, so nevermind.    It sounded good for a second.  

losersaidwhat

Just an observation but it seems to me like most of the people that insist on having a written out birth plan based on the reasoning "I won't be in my right mind to speak for myself during labor" are FTM... are there any STM+ in here that will have a written out birth plan? No matter how many drugs I was on at any given moment or how much pain I was in for both of my previous labors there wasn't ever a time that I couldn't advocate for myself. Your brain doesn't shut off just because you're having contractions, and your mouth doesn't stop working - unless I am an exceptional case and have extreme control over my motor functions even when I'm in pain.

Has anyone that has experienced labor actually not been able to tell the nurses exactly what's on their mind for some reason? I'm genuinely curious about what those circumstances would be.

sfshorter

losersaidwhat said:

Just an observation but it seems to me like most of the people that insist on having a written out birth plan based on the reasoning "I won't be in my right mind to speak for myself during labor" are FTM... are there any STM+ in here that will have a written out birth plan? No matter how many drugs I was on at any given moment or how much pain I was in for both of my previous labors there wasn't ever a time that I couldn't advocate for myself. Your brain doesn't shut off just because you're having contractions, and your mouth doesn't stop working - unless I am an exceptional case and have extreme control over my motor functions even when I'm in pain.

Has anyone that has experienced labor actually not been able to tell the nurses exactly what's on their mind for some reason? I'm genuinely curious about what those circumstances would be.

I was telling my nurses all kinds of things they didn't want to hear when I was in labor.  At very high volumes and in colorful language, at that.  

kimbo1216

losersaidwhat said:

Just an observation but it seems to me like most of the people that insist on having a written out birth plan based on the reasoning "I won't be in my right mind to speak for myself during labor" are FTM... are there any STM+ in here that will have a written out birth plan? No matter how many drugs I was on at any given moment or how much pain I was in for both of my previous labors there wasn't ever a time that I couldn't advocate for myself.

 The bolded is how it was for me too.  And I do think we are the norm, not the exception.  The exceptions are the opposite.  My friend was one of them. But she was induced and they gave her something to help her sleep before everything started.  Well, I guess it all started much sooner than expected, and let's just say she doesn't remember much about the actual birth of her daughter.  This is one reason why she was so determined to go as intervention free as possible with her sons.  And she did.

But I do think most women don't have a problem with being able to be their own advocate.  And for reasons like with my friend, I think it's important that your SO become your advocate if you are unable to.

Christine&Chris

I did have a written one page sheet outlining preferences - and was happy to have it, though had my experience been more traditional it may have been unnecessary. I was in labor for 2+ days in the hospital and went through at least 5 nursing shifts and 2 physicians. By the end, having to remember or reiterate all of our preferences - I'm sure I would have at that point said "do whatever, just make this end." And I didn't focus on the obvious - like freedom to move, prefers to nurse not bottle feed, only husband in the room...those are silly and easy for DH or I to mention at any time. We listed things like wanting a port access instead of a full IV hookup if possible, to naturally tear rather than episiotomy, to leave one arm free if possible in the case of an emergency C-section. Medical matters in which at the time the decision for them is necessary would probably escape us and wouldn't be mentioned by medical staff because they are not routine, but are easily accommodated.

shelley1002

losersaidwhat said:

Just an observation but it seems to me like most of the people that insist on having a written out birth plan based on the reasoning "I won't be in my right mind to speak for myself during labor" are FTM... are there any STM+ in here that will have a written out birth plan? No matter how many drugs I was on at any given moment or how much pain I was in for both of my previous labors there wasn't ever a time that I couldn't advocate for myself. Your brain doesn't shut off just because you're having contractions, and your mouth doesn't stop working - unless I am an exceptional case and have extreme control over my motor functions even when I'm in pain.

Has anyone that has experienced labor actually not been able to tell the nurses exactly what's on their mind for some reason? I'm genuinely curious about what those circumstances would be.

So true to the bolded. I will not have a written birth plan.  I did not last time when I was a FTM either.  And there was never a time in the 17 hours I was in labor (including while pushing out a face up baby) that I could not advocate for myself.

Christine&Chris

Also - I work in healthcare. We get A LOT of goodies from patients. We accept, write a thank you, and toss the homemade items. No one ever wants to eat homemade items from strangers/patients, and they just go bad. Go with a third party delivery service (edible creations, baker's square pie) or commercially packaged products.

shelley1002

btimes3 said:

losersaidwhat said:

Just an observation but it seems to me like most of the people that insist on having a written out birth plan based on the reasoning "I won't be in my right mind to speak for myself during labor" are FTM... are there any STM+ in here that will have a written out birth plan? No matter how many drugs I was on at any given moment or how much pain I was in for both of my previous labors there wasn't ever a time that I couldn't advocate for myself. Your brain doesn't shut off just because you're having contractions, and your mouth doesn't stop working - unless I am an exceptional case and have extreme control over my motor functions even when I'm in pain.

Has anyone that has experienced labor actually not been able to tell the nurses exactly what's on their mind for some reason? I'm genuinely curious about what those circumstances would be.

I guess this is where that whole "don't expect your birth to go according to plan" thing comes in.  I find it kind of odd that people who don't think we should have written birth plans/preferences keep saying that, when the whole point is that we know situations may arise when we can't "just tell the nurse" and want to be prepared.

With me, I planned on walking around/sitting in the shower/using an excersize ball while I was in labor.  I was not able to do that.  My water broke so I had to be on monitors the whole time.  That gave me a 3 foot range from bed to the furthest point the wires would reach.
I was also GBS+ so I had to be on IV antibiotics for a while.  Again not something that helps with walking around.

As you can see I was perfectly capable of advocating for myself but these things that happened cause me to not be able to follow my wishes of being mobile.

bionicb

I intend to have one with me, but mostly so my FI and or mom can double check just in case. Honestly I expect my FI to be so frazzled that he won't remember predetermined decisions like what type of iv, epidural, etc. Its just a reference guide, just in case.

LetsGoToDisney

LetsGoToDisney said:

My birth plan is a single piece of paper with the names and photos of non-staff people allowed in the room before/during delivery and a statement of preference for non-medicated, tear naturally, vaginal birth. I packed a copy to tape on the outer door to my birthing suite. There is also a "clear the room" code in my chart. (If I tell the OB nurse my toes itch, she clears the room of non-essential people)

I love, love, love the goodie bag idea! I might just send a friend out for muffins. 

You are joking right? I would much rather have the nurse caring for me and my unborn child then trying to. remember what the secret code is, have your husband tell them to leave. Or tell them yourself. If they can't respect your wished and privacy when you ask them to leave they shouldn't be there in the first place.

I choose my team because they are people I trust with my life and the life of my child. I have an extremely intrusive MIL who has stated that she cannot be kept out of the delivery room, I agree that she shouldn't be there because I cannot trust her (and eww gross). It is because this is a sensitive situation and I am being  protected by my medical team, it was suggested that I have a code phrase to make everything move smooth and allow the staff to handle any potentially stressful situations so I can focus on relaxation techniques. It concerns me that you don't think the people taking care of you would extend the same level of courtesy and care if you needed a code phrase. 

If my toes itch, then I will scratch them or ask for them to be scratched. 

HFrizzle

I'm a fourth timer and write out a birth plan with my first, 12 yrs ago, and it went out the window. The only thing I really insisted on was I did not want an episiotomy. Doctors are not going to stop what they are doing to double check your birth plan, they are also not going to remember evey single patients particular wants. While I was pushing my DD head out, I stated loud and clear to her that I did not want an episiotomy, to just let me tear naturally. And that's what she did.

I've never had a birth plan from here on out. If something comes up that I am not comfortable with, then I will speak up and say so.

norbert5

There is a birth plan form I am supposed to fill out and return to my doctor's office. It is all yes and no questions.

I am TTM and I have filled this form out each time. It isn't a big deal to me to fill it out and I know it is just a guideline.

bkeane619

Baked goods? That is the last thing on your mind when your water breaks. Maybe get your mat ward nurses some donuts the next day but really. All u will be thinking of are contractions.

skyla13

I feel better reading all of the comments, because people keep asking me about birth plans, and I just don't have one. Like some have said, I do have specific do's and don'ts in mind, but we'll see when the time comes, and if for some strange reason I can't talk to the nurses or doctors, my husband can. I guess I'd rather just go with the flow.

CousinVicki

here's a preview of how your birth plan will be received:

Mama2be12345

My hospital recommends a brief birth plan and provided a sheet to fill out. Wouldn't it make the most sense to talk to your medical provider and ask their opinion, and what they recommend with L&D at you hospital? That will help you figure out how it will be received and perhaps what to include?