Multiples

Question for the SAH MoMs! (partial vent)

I think I am going stir crazy.  Here is my situation...I am a first time mom and went from being super busy with my business and being involved with a lot of stuff to being a SAHM with twins.  Not only that but my mom comes to help me every day (almost all day).  My boys are 8 months old now and just in the last month got sleep trained for naps (they STTN from 7pm to 6:30am). So my dilemma is this - In feel so cooped up. I don't know what I can do with my boys either by myself or with my mothers help in such a short period of time. I am pretty sure the babies are bored at home too.  They have only about a 2.5 hour wake time right now.  Maybe if we were out and about it would be longer, but that won't happen every single day. I'm afraid that I will mess up the good sleep that they are finally doing, but I really want to go do something.  It's so hard to be mobile now days.  Please suggest some ideas of things we can do.  We occasionally go for walks and to the park, but the weather is hot here so it's not too often.

On top of that I want to cut my moms time back, but she suffers from depression and I am afraid it will devastate her. But I really could use some time apart from her.  If any of you had help with your twins, how long did you have the help for?

Maybe they will change their sleep patterns soon and be awake longer.  Then I can get out more! LOL 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker < br > image

Re: Question for the SAH MoMs! (partial vent)

  • We had a postpartum doula 2 nights a week for the first month. Besides that we had about three weeks' worth of family members come to help, spread out over the first two months. My parents live in town and my mom is great to watch them when we need it, but she would just text me in the morning to see if I needed help. (Now she watches them every day because we are both working again.)

    Your mom might be ready to cut back her hours too. I would just tell her that while you love having her over, you don't need help every day now, and she's welcome to come or not. (I am sure some people would be more direct, but you know her best, and it sounds like she is pretty sensitive.)

    As far as ideas - 2.5 hours is definitely long enough to get out of the house, unless you live in the boonies or something.

    As far as ideas, your mom could be a huge help here. Some of these are solo, kids-in-the-stroller ideas and some are grandma & mom each take a kid ideas.

    - Walk the mall
    - Go to Target or Toys R Us
    - Go to the children's museum - ours has a GREAT baby-only area where everything is safe and they have tons of sensory toys and crawling/toddling space
    - Story time at the library
    - Baby swim lessons, baby music lessons/group, mom meet-ups
    - Play dates with other moms - we met a couple at our birthing class and we just go to her house or she comes to our house to have coffee and let the babies hang out - nice just to see a different face or be in a different house (she and I both work swing shift so that has worked out well)

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • Im so glad this post is up because i was getting the same feeling. Where can I take my little ones because they are on a schedule as well at 3months old. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • Do u have a Gymboree class near u? My kids ( not the twins) loved Gymboree
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker
  • My kids are almost 3 now but their first year I didn't do much either. Nap time is sacred to me, so we still very rarely skip it. It gets MUCH easier to do things when they get a bit older. My kids nap in the afternoon and our whole morning is free. But in the meantime you could look into Gymboree or library classes. My library classes are short - half hr. Go to the mall or even just Target. Since your mom is there swim lessons would be fun. Instead of going on a walk your kids could just play outside. I'm sure they're not bored, but I totally get it if you are. Could you bring the kids to your moms and have them nap at her place? Just a change of scenery might help even if you aren't really doing anything different. You aren't going to completely screw up naps by starting one late. Even if they fall asleep in the car and actually do miss a real nap just put them down early for the next nap and it will be fine.
  • My boys are 6 months and my DH works nights so he sleeps during the day. It's just me and the boys usually so I get a bit stir crazy as well but I cannot stay inside for long. Their wake time is no longer than 2.5 hours so it all needs to be planned well but we go to the mall, for walks around the neighborhood, lunch with friends, last week we found a park with a farm so they could look at animals and go on swings. Even if we just go to my parents house or a friends house it's at least a change of scenery for them. I plan on looking into swim classes that my mom can help out at, library classes and play dates now that they're getting bigger. I totally understand the not wanting to ruin their nap schedule thing because my boys love their own cribs and refuse to nap if we are out running errands unless its just in the car.
    Also my local gym has a great daycare so I plan on joining that so not only do I get a little break and can work out but the boys get a change of scenery and new toys to play with!
  • I joined MOMS club when the boys turned 13mo when we moved to a new area. It has helped soo much! I'm in a playgroup and I can do some of the events that the club offers. MOMS club is a club for SAHM or pt working mom's. Not necessarily mom's of multiples, just Moms Offering Mom's Support. momsclub.org I think is the website.

    My sister has come over most Tuesdays for 2-3 hours. My mom comes over most Thursdays for 6-8 hours. That's how it's been since the boys were born. We can go to the park, the library, a small grocery store run, target, etc in the 3 hours that they are awake between naps. You just have to plan where you are going to go, and what you are going to do so that you can be dressed and ready to go when they wake up. Feed them, change them and put them in the car and go. The first time is the hardest and scariest. But you will see that once you get out most people will give you space and smiles in stores or come and talk to you. Now at almost 17mo, the hardest part is getting them in and out of the house by myself :)
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml

  • Lil Kate said:
    Do u have a Gymboree class near u? My kids ( not the twins) loved Gymboree
    I have never heard of a Gymboree class, I will check into it! Thanks.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker < br > image
  • Thanks foe the ideas everyone!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker < br > image
  • I would say that this adjustment is hardest after your first baby(ies). It IS hard being a SAHM because it's so hard feeling isolated. We usually make sure that each day is designated for something and has a purpose. I've also gotten a lot better about "expecting" that the babies will just nap when they have the chance. It's absolutely to let them be tired if you're out and can't get home for naps on time. Babies are really, really flexible and they'll be fine. You need to do whatever you need to do to stay sane. If that's a four-hour trip to the mall, they'll be fine. Just pack some food and get on out. 
    Like I said above, we make sure that our days have direction. Two days are for heavy house-cleaning, one day is for fun, two days for errands. On errand days they just catnap in the car when they can and come home a late midday nap. 

    We have all sorts of baby gear all over the place. Walkers, bouncers, high chairs, jumperoos, exersaucers, etc. We try to move them from station to station and room to room to keep the variety. We also do lots of baths! They'll spend at least an hour splashing around in there. I often get a redbox movie or two and just sit on the floor with them and enjoy watching adult movies - they don't know what I'm watching yet anyway! 

    This will pass very soon, I promise. It gets much, much easier as they're more mobile and demand more attention! 
    imageimageLilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I would say that this adjustment is hardest after your first baby(ies). It IS hard being a SAHM because it's so hard feeling isolated. We usually make sure that each day is designated for something and has a purpose. I've also gotten a lot better about "expecting" that the babies will just nap when they have the chance. It's absolutely to let them be tired if you're out and can't get home for naps on time. Babies are really, really flexible and they'll be fine. You need to do whatever you need to do to stay sane. If that's a four-hour trip to the mall, they'll be fine. Just pack some food and get on out. 
    Like I said above, we make sure that our days have direction. Two days are for heavy house-cleaning, one day is for fun, two days for errands. On errand days they just catnap in the car when they can and come home a late midday nap. 

    We have all sorts of baby gear all over the place. Walkers, bouncers, high chairs, jumperoos, exersaucers, etc. We try to move them from station to station and room to room to keep the variety. We also do lots of baths! They'll spend at least an hour splashing around in there. I often get a redbox movie or two and just sit on the floor with them and enjoy watching adult movies - they don't know what I'm watching yet anyway! 

    This will pass very soon, I promise. It gets much, much easier as they're more mobile and demand more attention! 
    This was very encouraging to me! Thankyou BananaPancake!!! =)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker < br > image
  • I can totally relate! My babies were born in December during a very long rough winter in Michigan, so by springtime I was beyond climbing the walls....being able to get outside helped a lot. If it's super-hot maybe you could go to the mall or a coffee shop, or just walk around Target (though watch out for the crazies! ;)) Your outings don't have to be baby-centered.

    It's nice that your mom is helping you, though I can also see how you'd want some of your own life back by now. How is she w/ the babies alone? Maybe she could occasionally watch them while you run out for awhile, meet a friend for lunch, etc? Or, ditto PP's suggestion to go to her place sometimes. My mom lives very close and she set up a whole nursery w/ cribs and everything so I can come over there from time to time without sacrificing the babies' routine....it's nice! As far as discussing the subject with her, have you talked about her schedule before? Is she coming over on her own or have you been asking her to come over? Maybe you could bring it up by talking about how much easier the babies have been getting, etc, asking if she wants some of her time back, or maybe that you could make a schedule so she could come over frequently but have "days off" to do what she wants to do? It can be a sensitive subject, and you know best how she might react, but I wish you luck with however you decide to handle it!

    Hang in there, mama; it's not an easy job you're doing, but you are not alone!
     image
  • Thank you marchesa
    I appreciate the ideas for my mom.  It is definitely a sensitive subject as this is her whole life right now.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker < br > image
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"