Do you have to open gifts?

RedSoxGirl10

I'm not trying to start anything, I'm just curious about opinions on whether gifts absolutely have to be opened. I personally hate watching people open gifts, even my own haha. I mean they registered for it, it's not some big surprise item So I'd be fine with people not doing it, but would others think this is rude? 

neverblushed

I think gifts should be opened at the shower.  Especially if you're not having at least one game or activity.  Otherwise, why have the darn shower?  As a guest, I could have had Amazon send you the gift and spent the afternoon grading papers, snoozing, or scrubbing the floor. I'm happy that you're about to have a baby, but my time is precious.

Just open the gifts quickly and don't feel that you have to spend 10 minutes examining each gift.  Open, quick "ooh/aah/love it/thanks so much," pass it around if people want to see it, then onto the next gift. 

RedSoxGirl10

Okay, I see the other side. I just have a big family and so does my husband so it's going to be a lot of things to open, even if quickly. I personally would prefer a shower (as a guest I mean) where I could just go, have a drink, eat some food and socialize with friends and family without being interrupted with present opening. This is obviously just my opinion though, others have theres. I have just been trying to figure out how to make a shower less of a sucky obligation and more of a fun event like a birthday or engagement party haha. It might be impossible  

RibbitGrl930

discobelle said:

Yes. The point of a shower is to "shower" the mother with gifts. Most people want to see the gifts and her reaction.

If you don't want to open gifts, have a no gifts type party instead.

Bingo.

Disneygeek77

Yeah tone that down.  Showers are meant to be small intimate affairs and not something where you have to invite every female you have ever known or are related to. 

Trust me, most reasonable, grown woman will not have their feelings hurt because they weren't invited to a baby shower. 

Oh and yes, it is always nice and polite to open someone's gift in front of them.  They went through all the trouble to buy, wrap and give you a gift.  The least you can do is take 30 seconds to open it and say thank you. 

Disneygeek77

You can also continue to serve food and drinks during the present opening as well. 

MMason12

somerandomchick said:

Okay, I see the other side. I just have a big family and so does my husband so it's going to be a lot of things to open, even if quickly. I personally would prefer a shower (as a guest I mean) where I could just go, have a drink, eat some food and socialize with friends and family without being interrupted with present opening. This is obviously just my opinion though, others have theres. I have just been trying to figure out how to make a shower less of a sucky obligation and more of a fun event like a birthday or engagement party haha. It might be impossible  

Just have a smaller shower. Even if you have 20 cousins you don't HAVE to invite them all. Showers with 50 guests suck anyways.

That would work for some people, but that would never work for me. My extended family (on my Mom's side) is insanely close. By insanely close I mean that all 30 of us go on family vacations together throughout the summer, where we rent large lake houses for a week or two at a time. We still all celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas together - and I travel over 3 hours one-way just watch a lot of my younger cousin's sporting events, school plays, or celebrate other big life moments with them. There is no way that all of them won't be invited to my shower - and with just them (my Aunts and female cousins on my Mom's side) the count is above 20. When you have a big family and you are super close a lot of times you cannot help but have larger showers. 

I remember planning our wedding and just our family members (immediate family along with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins) was over 70 people. Ugh! 

MMason12

Sorry, to answer the OP question - yes, you should open the gifts at the shower! 

jencnh

Since your family likes spending so much time together on vacations and since you take the time to travel a long distance to go to sporting events and such, then your family shouldn't mind taking the time to be at your shower and watch you open gifts!
I went to a kids birthday party once where the parents just packed up the gifts and took them home for him to open later. I found this to be very, very tacky and was a bit insulted that the kid couldn't even bother to open the gifts at the party (although I know the parents were at fault). This falls under the same lines with being tacky. Maybe worse since I most like spent more money on the shower gift. A lot of people actually enjoy watching the gifts being opened. Serve dessert and coffee/tea during the gift opening.

cinderin

As a guest, I like to see the presents opened. 

MynaBird

cinderin said:

As a guest, I like to see the presents opened. 

Ditto. If I'm going to a party with "shower" on the end, I expect to be fed while I watch someone else open presents.

sschwege

Yes, you should open the gifts at the shower.

I did go to one baby shower where the gifts were not opened, it kind of threw everyone.  It's like no one knew when to leave.

EastCoastBride

msspeedymarie said:

Yes, open the gifts in front of the guests.

I went to a co-ed shower for a friend, and they did not open the gifts during the shower, so my gift was never acknowledge there. And then two months later, I got a completely generic thank you card that did not reference any of the specific items I chose and picked out for her, that were things I had also gotten myself as a new mom and was really proud of picking out. It was really disappointing.

I had a VERY similar experience.

EastCoastBride

Happy_Yahoo_Personaler said:

If I went to a gift-giving event and the guest of honor just packed up everything, unopened, at the end of the party, I would feel slighted as a guest.  It's just SO gift-grabby to not open/acknowledge the gifts at the event.

THis is what it boils down to.  It just makes it feel like a big gift grab to not open the gifts.  If done right - the gift opening doesn't have to be this long, boring event.  Make a point to be quick about opening, make sure the hostesses have music playing (I went to a shower once w/o music and THAT was a painful gift opening.  It was SO quiet and no one wanted to talk and be "that one" who talked during the gift opening.), food and drinks still available - it will still have a party vibe and people can quietly chit-chat and move around if wanted.

EastCoastBride

jencnh said:

I went to a kids birthday party once where the parents just packed up the gifts and took them home for him to open later. I found this to be very, very tacky and was a bit insulted that the kid couldn't even bother to open the gifts at the party (although I know the parents were at fault).

If they had to "pack up" and take the gifts, that tells me this was at some kids venue.  Chances are there wasn't TIME to do a gift opening.  I've been to a few parties at bounce plays and the like and they've NEVER done a gift opening.

Then even at a private house - eh, with kids, it can be hit or miss.  Kids aren't always good about sitting down and diligently opening every gift.  Or about being properly thankful about the "uncool" sweater Aunt Bertha gave them.  Then the other kids?  If they want to play w/ the toys/ help unwrap/ etc.  It can all be really time consuming and annoying.

I'm not usually upset about gifts not being opened at a kids party. 

teacupkat

I was wondering about this myself. I recently went to a bridal shower where the bride didnt open any gifts. Our mutual friends loved that she didnt "waste their time staring at her unwrap presents." But I personally felt annoyed because I, like someone else mentioned, took time to purchase the gift and what not. I know I will get a thank you card, but I wrote a really sweet note in her card and never got to see her reaction. Since my friends made this comment, I was worried about their opinions for my baby shower which will be god knows when since my mom is planning. I guess this answers it then.

JGo517

RedSoxGirl10 said:

Okay, I see the other side. I just have a big family and so does my husband so it's going to be a lot of things to open, even if quickly. I personally would prefer a shower (as a guest I mean) where I could just go, have a drink, eat some food and socialize with friends and family without being interrupted with present opening. This is obviously just my opinion though, others have theres. I have just been trying to figure out how to make a shower less of a sucky obligation and more of a fun event like a birthday or engagement party haha. It might be impossible  

I totally can relate. I felt that way too, so at my bridal shower my aunt put a little note/rhyme in the invite "please be a dear and wrap in clear." I still took the time and opened the card and then saw the gift through the clear wrapping. So everyone technically saw their gift being opened. But it made the whole "attention on me while I open all the gifts" a bit easier/ quicker. :-)
I wanted to do the same thing for my baby shower. But we are doing a casual coed backyard thing.... So now ill have my DH to help make it less awkward :-)

BallSox

Why wrap a present in clear packaging?  I don't even own clear wrapping material.  You might as well have said "don't bother wrapping your presents".  

linzerd

How the hell else do you fill the time of the party? Eating and playing games? There's only so much you can do. Nobody really enjoys watching someone else open gifts except a few people. There's no other point to having a party like this. Even a birthday party.

mysticl

EastCoastBride said:

jencnh said:

I went to a kids birthday party once where the parents just packed up the gifts and took them home for him to open later. I found this to be very, very tacky and was a bit insulted that the kid couldn't even bother to open the gifts at the party (although I know the parents were at fault).

If they had to "pack up" and take the gifts, that tells me this was at some kids venue.  Chances are there wasn't TIME to do a gift opening.  I've been to a few parties at bounce plays and the like and they've NEVER done a gift opening.

Then even at a private house - eh, with kids, it can be hit or miss.  Kids aren't always good about sitting down and diligently opening every gift.  Or about being properly thankful about the "uncool" sweater Aunt Bertha gave them.  Then the other kids?  If they want to play w/ the toys/ help unwrap/ etc.  It can all be really time consuming and annoying.

I'm not usually upset about gifts not being opened at a kids party. 

I used to work at one of those.  If you wanted to serve food in addition to the cake we did not permit you to open gifts.  You had the place for 1.5 hours and then you had to leave.

JGo517

BallSox said:

Why wrap a present in clear packaging?  I don't even own clear wrapping material.  You might as well have said "don't bother wrapping your presents".  

Its called cellophane. You don't have to like the idea. Just trying to help.

BallSox

JGo517 said:

Why wrap a present in clear packaging?  I don't even own clear wrapping material.  You might as well have said "don't bother wrapping your presents".  

Its called cellophane. You don't have to like the idea. Just trying to help.

Really---thanks for the definition of clear wrapping paper, I don't know how I got through life without you pointing out the obvious for me.  

EastCoastBride

JGo517 said:

Why wrap a present in clear packaging?  I don't even own clear wrapping material.  You might as well have said "don't bother wrapping your presents".  

Its called cellophane. You don't have to like the idea. Just trying to help.

But it's pointless.  And it just REALLY comes across as gift grabby.  "I can't be bothered to take the time to unwrap your gift".

Oh, and before you say it - no, "everyone" at your shower did NOT think it was a great idea.  People may have gone along w/ it, some may have liked it - but I can guarantee you that there were people there who were very put off by it but were simply being polite and not actually saying it.

mysticl

EastCoastBride said:

JGo517 said:

Why wrap a present in clear packaging?  I don't even own clear wrapping material.  You might as well have said "don't bother wrapping your presents".  

Its called cellophane. You don't have to like the idea. Just trying to help.

But it's pointless.  And it just REALLY comes across as gift grabby.  "I can't be bothered to take the time to unwrap your gift".

Oh, and before you say it - no, "everyone" at your shower did NOT think it was a great idea.  People may have gone along w/ it, some may have liked it - but I can guarantee you that there were people there who were very put off by it but were simply being polite and not actually saying it.

I wouldn't love it.  For me part of the fun of gift giving is wrapping it.