Intro

StaceyLeigh11

Hi Everyone. My name is Stacey and I am a 31 year old pediatric nurse. I had a doctor's appointment with my first ultrasound this morning and while I should have been 8 weeks today, there was no heartbeat and the baby was measuring at about 6 weeks. As soon as she was unable to see the baby with an abdominal ultrasound, I knew. The transvaginal one just confirmed it. Call me crazy, but I have had a feeling this was going to happen for a few weeks now, not that it makes the reality of it any easier! I am still in shock and overwhelmed with the decisions (wait for a natural miscarriage, take the medication, or have a D&C).Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  I am leaning towards a D&C right now but am still unsure if that is the right decision. I am already a Mom to a great 21 month old little boy, and feel guilty for feeling so sorry for myself when some people have to deal with this and do not have any children. I have told a few people already which is something I waited to do last time, and untelling them really sucks. I don't want to hear "how are you feeling" but I did it to myself  (I had to tell some people at work due to patient assignments). Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. I was pretty much a lurker with my last pregnancy and have been so far on the March 2014 board until today.

linn1376

Sorry to hear your news.  I agree, havng to make the decision on what's next seems like the most traumatic part because you can't really pretend nothing ever happened (at least for me).  I chose a D&C and am scheduled for tomorrow which I am really nervous about.  I only told a couple people but they also knew it was possible the pregnancy wouldn't progress because we had an ultrasound two weeks ago that had me dated 10 days behind and I really knew my dates.  Of course I told the dentist's office because they wanted to take x-rays so now I have to go back in and "un-tell" them which sucks.  I really hate the sad face and the "I'm so sorry for your loss" because even though it is the right thing to say it just makes me upset again.  I have a two year old boy and I know now why I really can't take him for granted.  Best hopes for you in the next steps.

Kimnew520

I just went throught the exact same thing. First off, just because you have a child doesn't make this any less traumatic. And this is coming from someone who just lost her first pregnancy. Grieve and feel sorry for yourself.  It is okay. Now as far as making a decision how to move forward... I knew right off the bat that waiting it out was not an option for me. Like you, I knew something was wrong before the U/S confirmed. I was in a lot of pain. I discussed Miso with my doctor and he told me I might still have to have a D&C, so ultimately that is the route I went. I had it 5 days ago and I am still mildly uncomfrotable, but it's manageable. I feel like having it over with and no more waiting gave me the ability to start letting my heart heal.

Do what is best for you. I hope my experience gave you some insight and will maybe help you in what may be one of the hardest decisions you ever make. Lots of T&P and ((hugs)).

StaceyLeigh11

Thanks ladies. I decided to go with a D&C, scheduled for Friday. I just want it to be over with and do not want to wait for it to happen on it's own and wonder when that will be. I am very nervous about the D&C and potential complications. We moved to another state back in October so I do not know much about the hospital which is making me more nervous. Thankfully I am not scheduled to work again until next Thursday (was planning a vacation to visit family for my birthday which is Monday), so hopefully I will be feeling ok by then.

Even though I had a feeling, the reality of this sucks so much and I still can't believe it. I believe there was a reason for this to happen, even though I don't know what it is or why. Have spent most of the day crying off and on, hopefully that will get better in time. Thanks again for your advice, I really appreciate it! 

Allyvaughan86

I'm a nurse too but sometimes I think that makes things extra difficult because of our profession, we know too much! I am so sorry for your loss! Miscarriages completely suck! I just went through mine this past weekend... It's absolutely devastating and unfortunately something most people don't understand. This board has given me a lot if support and I hope you find peace soon! I'm still struggling! I just wanted to say I'm so so sorry you are dealing with this!

Allisonrcrook

I understand your pain and recently went through a very similar situation. I found out at 8w3d there was no hb so I opted for a d&c, which I had last Wednesday. In my experience the d&c was very easy physically but I'm still healing emotionally. I went in and was done in thirty minutes. I had very little pain and only light spotting. I didnt even have to take my pain meds and I was myself physically the next day. Which was good because i have two very active boys (which made this mc no less painful and i now feel my family is incomplete). My dr and i felt it was the best option to make sure all tissue was removed so my uterus could be prepared for next time. Plus i couldnt go through having to mc myself. I wish you the best and sending t&p your way....