He wants to go hunting. WWYD?

Mae208

So a little backstory- DS was born at exactly 38 weeks and labor lasted 6 hours from beginning to end. It was very quick, I only pushed twice and he was out. I feel like this labor might end up similar, if not faster. Who knows.

Anyway, my husband has never been deer hunting and finally has the opportunity to go this year. He is SO excited... My due date is Oct 7 (though she is measuring for about Oct 1), and the hunt would be the last 4 days of September. He would be hunting about 90 minutes from home, and plans to be 'within cell service' the whole time, but I am just feeling major anxiety over this. I woke up at 5 this morning stressing over it and wasn't able to go back to sleep. Anyway, he is saying things like 'if we think you might go into labor then I just won't go' but after DS labor I know it can come completely out of the blue. I just feel frustrated and don't know what to do. What would you do? Let him go and just hope you don't go into labor? Or ask him to stay home? I feel frustrated that he's even wanting to go through with it considering how close it is to my due date and with my quick labor history.

kimbo1216

Idk. It'd probably make me a bit uncomfortable. I'd communicate my concerns with him. Knowing MH, he would just stay home if I were nervous.

beccabrad

I think I'd put it back on him and ask him.  What if you go into labor and he isn't within cell-service range?  what if he doesn't make it back in time?  what if there's an emergency and you can't get a hold of him?  Is he will to risk it to go hunting?  Just things to think about.  Can he not go hunting later in October?

tmccord21

Nope. First off, hunting is stupid. But that's just me. And I would tell him to plant his ass in the house starting 2 weeks prior to my due date. 

Just tell him you are not comfortable with him being that far away when you are that close to your due date. 

finnybooboo

beccabrad said:

I think I'd put it back on him and ask him.  What if you go into labor and he isn't within cell-service range?  what if he doesn't make it back in time?  what if there's an emergency and you can't get a hold of him?  Is he will to risk it to go hunting?  Just things to think about.  Can he not go hunting later in October?

This. There are a lot of what-ifs that he should answer to.

GopherBaby13

Lurking from Nov.13

My due date is a week after gun opener for deer in MN. I normally would hunt by my house and my SO would go up to "Deer Camp" with the guys 4.5 hours away. We, together, decided that he won't be going this year. I feel bad for him. But 4.5 hours in awful cell service (he has to walk a mile to the main road to even talk to me when he is there) made HIM uncomfortable. Now an hour and a half? A lot of people have a commute to work that long. And he would have good cell service. I wouldn't have a problem with him going then. Not even a little bit.

Wino0920

DH went to a football game 2 hours away at 38 weeks last pregnancy. He just kept calling me every hour lol! I wasn't nervous at all but he was. I ended up being induced so I didn't have a fast pregnancy like you did. Idk, I just think he is pretty close and if he gets there and doesn't get cell service, he can just come home.

alwilson09

We had a similar situation with my first but my husband was only about an hour and half way so I wasn't too concerned.  He went dove hunting on opening weekend but it got cut short as I was having some issues.  He did have to get the phone call though that I was being admitted to the hospital (at 36 weeks along) but he got there in no time because getting admitted to hospital took about an hour anyway.  I would say that it would be ok but again, it is completely up to you and your husband.

kelle017

I just had this talk the other day with DH.  I'm due October 1 which is the opening day of bow season here.  I told him he could go, because I know he won't be more than 30 minutes away and does have cell-service (I've texted him at these locations before), as long as baby wasn't here yet.

Early doe season is a few days in mid-September and he would have gone almost 2 hours away if he went, but I told him I wasn't okay with that, and he didn't have a problem with that. 

We are still discussing opening day of gun season (Nov. 15) because I don't know if I want him to be gone from Thursday -Sunday (it opens on a Friday this year) and be an hour and half away with spotty cell service while I have a 6ish week old.

OP I would ask him to stay.  Given your early delivery with ds and quick labors I wouldn't feel comfortable if that was me. 

GopherBaby13

Is this a guys trip or something? Why would he be gone for four days? I guess with being a hunter myself (OMG I know! Poor Bambi!), I can see why he would want to go. I'm bummed out that I can't go this year myself because of my due date.

Idk. It's just that an hour and a half drive seems like nothing to me. Especially with cell service the entire time.

ohkay

I would let him know I was uneasy, but ultimately I would let him make his own choice. If I felt like I was going into labor, I would call him if decided to hunt. If he missed the birth of his child, that's on him because he knew the risk.

ClaireOtoms

tmccord21 said:

Nope. First off, hunting is stupid. But that's just me. And I would tell him to plant his ass in the house starting 2 weeks prior to my due date. 

/:) I don't really think this is reasonable advice.  It sounds like a great way to drive yourself and your partner absolutely insane for the last month of your pregnancy. 

If your husband is at all a reasonable man, it's probably best to explain your concerns to him and come to an agreement together.  My H had to pass on elk hunting this year, but he also would have had to fly across the country to get back to UT to do the hunt he wanted.  If we had the time and he wanted to do a hunt that was only 1.5 hours away, I would probably be more supportive.  Just for comparison, my DS was born at 38w2d after an 8 hour labor, so I understand your concern about going early.

Again, it really comes down to what you and your H are comfortable with. 

taylormarie923

How about a compromise?  He goes for just two of the four days instead of the full four days so that he would be back before October 1st.

Flutterby00

I would let him go.  The expectation would be that he is checking in with me every 2 or 3 hours just in case the cell service isn't as reliable as he thought. As long as he would be agreeable to that, I don't see why not.  I'd also have him pack a bag so he could come straight to the hospital. 90 minutes away is nothing!

tmccord21

ClaireOtoms said:

tmccord21 said:

Nope. First off, hunting is stupid. But that's just me. And I would tell him to plant his ass in the house starting 2 weeks prior to my due date. 

/:) I don't really think this is reasonable advice.  It sounds like a great way to drive yourself and your partner absolutely insane for the last month of your pregnancy. 

If your husband is at all a reasonable man, it's probably best to explain your concerns to him and come to an agreement together.  My H had to pass on elk hunting this year, but he also would have had to fly across the country to get back to UT to do the hunt he wanted.  If we had the time and he wanted to do a hunt that was only 1.5 hours away, I would probably be more supportive.  Just for comparison, my DS was born at 38w2d after an 8 hour labor, so I understand your concern about going early.

Again, it really comes down to what you and your H are comfortable with. 

I don't actually mean literally. I more so meant to spend some quality time with me before LO arrives. I know, for me, after this kid arrives my H will be getting very little of my attention for a while. But I'm a FTM and probably a little dramatic today. It's been a long weekend.

I just think of all the things that could go wrong when a bunch of guys go into the woods with weapons and I'm assuming beer. 

Mae208

tmccord21 said:

ClaireOtoms said:

tmccord21 said:

Nope. First off, hunting is stupid. But that's just me. And I would tell him to plant his ass in the house starting 2 weeks prior to my due date. 

/:) I don't really think this is reasonable advice.  It sounds like a great way to drive yourself and your partner absolutely insane for the last month of your pregnancy. 

If your husband is at all a reasonable man, it's probably best to explain your concerns to him and come to an agreement together.  My H had to pass on elk hunting this year, but he also would have had to fly across the country to get back to UT to do the hunt he wanted.  If we had the time and he wanted to do a hunt that was only 1.5 hours away, I would probably be more supportive.  Just for comparison, my DS was born at 38w2d after an 8 hour labor, so I understand your concern about going early.

Again, it really comes down to what you and your H are comfortable with. 

I don't actually mean literally. I more so meant to spend some quality time with me before LO arrives. I know, for me, after this kid arrives my H will be getting very little of my attention for a while. But I'm a FTM and probably a little dramatic today. It's been a long weekend.

I just think of all the things that could go wrong when a bunch of guys go into the woods with weapons and I'm assuming beer. 

No alcohol involved, but this is pretty much my same train of thought. I'm just thinking of all the crappy scenarios that could happen, plus what if he actually doesn't have cell service? Plus they will be a hike away from the truck and its a 90 minute drive without rush hour traffic, so what if I need him home and he's 3 miles from the truck, its 5pm and then has traffic to deal with, etc etc. I know I'm a worry wart but I hate that this is something I even have to worry about at 39 weeks pregnant all while taking care of our 22 month old DS.

GopherBaby13

Have you thought about seeing where you are at physically when that time comes? Like if you are dialated at all? I read on this site multiple times a day that every pregnancy and labor is different. You could very well go past 40 weeks.

Mae208

GopherBaby13 said:

Have you thought about seeing where you are at physically when that time comes? Like if you are dialated at all? I read on this site multiple times a day that every pregnancy and labor is different. You could very well go past 40 weeks.

Yeah, honestly none of that matters in my opinion. I was 1cm with DS and 2 days later my water broke. I could very well go past 40 weeks but considering I woke up at 4:30am unable to sleep bc I'm feeling anxiety over this, that just doesn't help.

KerCo51

My husband travels for work.  While I am completely used to him being away, I am all of a sudden having a hard time with it at 32 weeks and I am sure it's only going to get worse.  He is hoping to stay as local as possible during most of the month of September, but since it's work, he can't completely control what happens. 

It sounds like the timing sucks, but I think he shouldn't risk it just to do something for fun.  While he won't be that far and everything would probably work out fine, you never know. I don't think it's worth stressing you out.

AlwaysForgetful

My last was born the day after opening day. I told DH to go opening day. He was about 40 minutes away from the hospital and I had a back up plan IF something were to go wrong. That is just me though. I also had him leave the hospital (I was there 5 days) on day 2 or 3 to go to bingo (4ish hours) because I just wanted a nap and well, it was 5:30pm and he wanted to be lovey and not shut up.

Yes, I know it sounds like we just annoy each other. lol I love him to death, but I need me time. So I assume he does too. That being said, if he complains when I have "me" time, he might be murdered.

Maybe not send him all 4 days but compromise with him.

Mae208

anamouse said:

I didn't read all the comments but who's going to watch your DS if you go into labour and he's out hunting and cannot be contacted? 

My mom lives 30 mins away and will for sure be taking DS when I go into labor, and for the couple days that we are in the hospital. I guess I'm just feeling really emotional over the fact that I want him HERE right by my side if I start labor or if anything else happens. I have a friend who offered to stay with me but that doesn't help the fact that I just want to be with my DH for the labor/hospital process. I should also add that I have been incredibly emotional the past couple weeks so that's not helping either! I am typically the wife who loves when he goes on man trips for the weekend because I LOVE having 'me' time as well. But throw in pregnant hormones and the possibility of labor and my attitude changes!

Amcdonnel1028

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KimCousino

Deer camp or beer camp?

If I were in your situation I would give H a big fat No! You never know when you could go into labor & a 90 min drive is pretty far IMO.

And there is always next year!

My husband hunts as well and gun opens around Nov 15 here - which will be after our babies arrive & we decided he isn't going. He also missed deer camp a few years ago when DS was born in Oct. H isn't an avid hunter so he is OK with missing the trip. But even if he was a big hunter, I'd still say no way!


ETA- I just seen there won't be drinking.