need input from SAHparents!

mwd

After looking for work for the past 18 months, DH had agreed a few months ago to keep DD home with him when DS starts school. The problem is, he really doesn't want to stay home. I feel that he should have "manned" up months ago, and saved us all of the costs of daycare, so there is some resentment between us right now.  So that is one topic. 

So if he is going to stay home with DD, I feel he should have a schedule, or something to do while he looking for work, and keeping her entertained. I am all for registering her for lots of classes, but I am looking for other suggestions.  DD will be 3 in September, and our recent potty training try failed. So that would the first project.  Thank you in advance! 

KL777

I stopped being a SAHM when DS turned 3, so I may not be of much help.  When I did SAH, I was a part of two mom groups, took DS to storytime at the library, did homeschooling for early preschool (basically taught the public school's pre-kindergarten's curriculum), and did a Moms Morning Out program.

To fill in the rest of the time, I included naps (for myself and DS), trips to the bank, grocery store, Target, post office, parks, playgrounds, museums, etc.

kristennd

DH is a SAHD but LO is younger. They go to storytime twice a week. Swimming twice a week. A constant rotation of playgrounds and parks. We have a zoo season pass, although LO gets almost as excited by visiting PetSmart. Lots of time out front with sidewalk chalk. We get real winters so that will be more complicated.

But except for the structured things like storytime and swimming, DH really works better without a schedule. There are days that they don't accomplish much of anything, but it wasn't worth the arguments. And that's with staying home being his idea all along.

PipSqueak0313

As a sahm, I would really resent dh if he tried to impose his idea of a good schedule for us onto me. We talk about what needs to be done and agree to who will do what and contact each other if there is a problem preventing us from completing our task.

When I was home with my older two 15 years ago, xh figured since I was home, I could do any errand he wanted done and keep the house spotless and take care of the kids and...... after a while the kids and I looked forward to xh going tdy so we could do things the way it worked best for us.

ELF4321

I guess I'm not entirely sure what you are looking for.  You want them to have a more structured schedule?   I am a SAHM with a 15 month old.  I actually try to limit the amount of scheduling to avoid over-stimulating her and to make sure she has enough quiet play time (plus she's still doing 2 naps most days, which limits the available windows for activities). 

Most days we have only one "scheduled" activity and just wing it the rest of the day.  We go to music class once a week, toddler gym twice a week, library once a week (not a structured program, but we have a great children's section where she can look at books, play with stuffed animals, or whatever strikes her fancy), and shopping 1-2x a week. 

We do a lot of pretend play right now -- she's gotten into having tea parties, feeding her stuffed animals "cake".  Reading books, learning to draw with crayons, rolling the ball back and forth, going outside to do bubbles, working on puzzles, and generally playing pretty much fills up our day.  If I run out of ideas, I put her in the stroller and take the dog for  walk or go to the mall so she can people-watch (which she loves). 

mwd

Thanks everyone! Since DD is coming from a very structured schedule at daycare, I wanted some advice lon maintaining that schedule.  I think planning 3 classes a week, including library time, and running errands should be enough to fill their day. As for the cleanliness of the house, I am already looking at a cleaning lady coming once or twice a month, as I would rather he spend time with her, but train her to pick up after herself.  now, I have to get DH on the same page.....

mwd

Thanks, wife07.  MIL is available when DH does have an interview, or I can take some time and work from home.  and when does find work, our current daycare may have availability. We have put DS into full day program for K4.  

My relationship with DH needs work, and that is our next step.

cpmich

As a stay at home mom, let me assure you that they are busier than you can imagine and it is a lot of work. Regardless of the issues you have in your relationship, you need to try to be supportive of how is is parenting at home.

2 year olds as you know can be a challenge. Even 2 scheduled classes at that age is a big deal, not to mention all the grocery shopping and just everyday trips that happen throughout the week.

In all seriousness, you need to back off on the schedule. If it isn't a safety or character issue, you just need to let him be a parent and manage the day when he is the only one there. Please don't try to micromanage.

Also, be aware that your kid is probably different when it is the three of you than when it is the two of them. Not necessarily better or worse, but different.

mwd

After a few weeks, DH has managed well, and DD has kept him busy. I was concerned that the two of them would staying at home sitting in front on the boob tube, but that has not been the case. She convinces him to go to the park, farmers market, etc. DH has adapted to the 2 classes a week, as he understands she needs that for socialization. That really wa my concern for DD. So it seems to be OK. 

cpmich

Glad everything is going so well. Good luck!