July 2013 Moms
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DH vent

Sometimes I feel like I do it all for LO. It makes me want to scream!! I know I'm on maternity leave, but as far as I remember it took two to tango and make this baby.

Vent over. Anyone want to participate??

Re: DH vent

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    I'm with ya. Mine had friends over drinking til 2 am Fri while I went to bed so I could get some rest between feedings. Then Sat packed up to go shooting with friends but didn't when he realized how mad I was.
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    jamis1284 said:

    Same...I wish I could sleep all night...take my time to eat a meal..or even pee when I first get the urge! oye! 

    The other day DH was yelling at me to come feed LO while I was trying to poop

    I was SO MAD

    I would be sooo mad!
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    I feel like DH never helped with DS1 and now there isn't much he's doing for DS2. He is stepping up a bit with DS1 now that I need a little help but really isn't doing much more.
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    I don't mind it...
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    kdasr said:

    Yeah. DH hasn't been that great :/ I try and cut him slack because he's working but it's getting old. He takes a nap when he comes home every single day and complains every time he holds DD that she won't stop crying. Well gee dude, it's been 30 seconds she's not a light switch! And of course she's not comfortable with you- you never hold her so she has no idea who you are!

    He was such a rock star throughout my very difficult pregnancy and he's been so excited for her to get here. But now that she's here and he's realizing she's not a silent adorable play thing he wants nothing to do with her.

    Mine is almost the exact same! Last night he literally threw a tantrum because I asked him to change LO at 1am since it was the weekend. I never have him get up during the work week. He was great during my pregnancy and labor, and now he can't stand LOs crying for 5 minutes. He always hands him to me and says he needs to eat. He even called LO annoying the other day which pissed me off. Ugh. He was so excited for this baby too!
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    Asbromle said:

    I don't mind it...

    I wish I could be that way. Some days I am, then I hit my boiling point. That was today. Kudos to you.

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    Yep mine is the same way!! It's definitely getting very frustrating...he comes home and naps, plays video games, watches tv...doesn't ever ask if I need help anymore, I always have to ask. And if LO cries, god forbid...well it's always up to me to figure it out. I don't think he realized how hard this newborn stage is...
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    This entire thread.

    pretty much. Mine has been on the couch on his computer or sleeping all weekend. I'm still on restrictions from c-section and evidently am on my own for tomorrow - he didn't go to the store and we are out of everything including cheese, didn't fix the toilet so it doesn't flush unless you pick up the tank top and pull and hold the broken part (under water), hasn't made the babys dresser we bought 8 or 9 weeks ago so baby's stuff is all over where I am trying to find sruff all over and keep pets off her stuff. Guh!

     

     

     

     

     

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    This whole thread. Yesterday was my breaking point though. I had gotten up to feed her, around 9 am, and then brought her back in bed since DH was up, she was in a playful mood. He was holding her and playing and I was about to go jump in the shower. He asked if I could take her for a second first. I assumed so he could use the bathroom. Next thing I know I hear the microwave and then the tv in the living room. I'm thinking what the heck? I walk in and he has his feet up cocked back eating breakfast. I was like uhhh hello? He said he was hungry. Really?! You just handed her off to watch tv and eat? Seriously? I packed me and LO up for the day and night and we drove to my moms. I was so pissed off. I know that was minute to freak out about, but it is continuously like that! Everyday all day! He wants nothing to do with her. Well I wish I could have a break and go eat with my feet up too.
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    DH telling me that I'm basically spoiling our 3 week old by nursing her whenever she wants. She wont take a pacifier, so that means I'm a human pacifier. He says I'm perpetuating the issue by allowing her to suck when she just wants to suck, and that we need to let her cry it out... UGH I'm doing what I know to be best!
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    Generally speaking DH is good, though he is a bear when I wake him up for anything in the MOTN...

    What I'm really pissed off about is that he came back from a five day work trip with a cold and although he slept in the spare room, he was careless with being around DS despite my requests to wash hands and be careful, and now DS is sick. Guess who is up with DS on her chest making sure he doesn't choke on his own phlegm or helping him with his horrid coughing fits? Certainly not DH, sleeping like a log.

    I'm totally pissed because since he was born DH makes fun of me for being too cautious with DS, and thinking he is sturdier than he is. "Germs are good for him" and all that...Its like he thinks he is an 8month old. Now it's DS paying the price.
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    I'm sorry ladies! Hopefully your guys get it together soon!

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    NKaeding said:

    ....I'm giving DH a big hug and a kiss tonight for not doing any of this stuff...

    I'm sorry ladies.

    Seriously. I feel bad for being annoyed at him! He's a saint.
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    DH works Mon-Fri so i dont ask for any help for MOTN during the week. I ask him to hold/comfort/change/feed her after he has been home for a little while (so he can settle in after a full day at work), usually so i can cook dinner (he is good about that). Then again once a night so i can take a 20 min bath in peace (last night he kept coming in about LO, so i gave up my me time lastnight.

    What i want to complain about is the weekend! I STILL dont usually have him help me with MOTN anything, but some family time and help on the weekend is a MUST in my eyes! However he usually he spends Saturday from 2pm-10pm playing poker with the guys at my parents house while i am stuck inside doing laundry and having no adult interaction. Because of this, Sunday is usually running around making sure we get grocery shopping done, picking up DS from his dad's (1 hr round trip) and any other errands/chores that need to be done which leaves little to no time for quality time together. As if all of that didn't grind on my nerves anytime he has free time he has his nose in the TV and/or IPAD/Phone/Video Games. 

    I finally got FED UP this weekend when we were at my parents house for poker and i told him we could only be gone for 6 hours, not any more. I am trying to wean from pumping so i need to pump a little bit every 6-10 hrs to relieve the engorgement. So i packed 7oz of pre-mixed formula, which should be plenty for 6 hrs since she had just ate about 1 hr before we left. Well 6 hrs passed and we were still there despite me telling my husband we had to go because DD only had 1.5 oz left and would be hungry again soon, but did he stop playing? NOPE! So she woke up, ate the 1.5oz and was SCREAMING for more, i was SOOO PISSED at DH! My saving grace was my dad who said that they something in the mail from Enfamil today that said there was a sample inside. I tore that envelope open to find the travel packets of formula, thank god! I mixed her up one and fed her, but i was still furious with DH. He finally was ready to go a short time after that and i reamed him on the way home, if it wasnt for the sample coming in the mail that day our daughter would have been starving and screaming. I think he felt bad, and honestly i am GLAD, maybe he will step up and give us the family time/attention we deserve!
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    P.S. You would think i wouldnt make the mistake of only bringing what i THINK she will need since DS was formula fed and i always carried the can of formula and a couple of bottles of water with me. But i had already pre-mixed her formula for the day and didnt want to have to toss it if she didnt eat it in 24 hrs, so i brought that instead thinking i would be safe because we were at my parents house. LESSON LEARNED!
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    DH is going to get a lot of loving tonight. He works 13 hour days and still gets up.to change her at night, so I can pee.
    I'm so sorry ladies. I hope they get in gear soon.
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    DH has been good for the most part, he can't really do much with DS since we haven't introduced a bottle yet and if he's not eating or sleeping he is fussy and mostly wants mom. However, we had his two-week check up on Friday and the appt was at 11 am. DH was already grumpy because he works until midnight. DS usually cluster feeds during this time and I was at the doc office feeding him after the appt was over and DH asks, "Are you about done? I'm hungry." Um, am I about done? Not up to me. DS takes a break from eating and we leave even though he's wide awake and I know he's not done. Sure enough, 5 mins into the ride home DS is screaming and I have to helplessly watch him. Despite the screams DH still stops to get himself a burrito and says "you can feed him now." When he comes back I tell him he can eat in the car and wait until he's done before we head home. I was so mad. (He has since apologized).
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
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    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
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    My DH doesn't hear anything when he sleeps. It's scary. In the am, he asks me how many times she got up during the night. Then, he keeps begging for sex. I told him not until the dr clears me!
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    Asbromle said:

    I don't mind it...

    Me either. He gets up and goes to work everyday, my job is to take care of our LO. I have even thought about waking him and having him feed and change her during the night but as tired as I am, I want to do it and make sure it gets done right lol. Plus it wouldn't be fair because he has work in the morning. During the day when he is home he holds her while I get things done and of course he loves and provides for us. That's enough for me.
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    I feel bad for all of you, ladies!

    I got irritated this morning when I got up to find DS in Christmas PJs that are 6mo size (he's six weeks). DH forgot where the PJs were located and put the baby in whatever he found after a blowout. That was during my 1 hour baby-free nap.
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    KMSonn said:

    DH telling me that I'm basically spoiling our 3 week old by nursing her whenever she wants. She wont take a pacifier, so that means I'm a human pacifier. He says I'm perpetuating the issue by allowing her to suck when she just wants to suck, and that we need to let her cry it out... UGH I'm doing what I know to be best!

    Dude, wTF? Tell him to educate himself!

    This whole thread is jacked. WTF all these husbands!?!?
    I was thinking the same thing! DH is letting me sleep in our bed alone while he sleeps on the sofa next to the RNP. When DS wakes up he changes him and brings him to me. I guess I got it good.

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    DH telling me that I'm basically spoiling our 3 week old by nursing her whenever she wants. She wont take a pacifier, so that means I'm a human pacifier. He says I'm perpetuating the issue by allowing her to suck when she just wants to suck, and that we need to let her cry it out... UGH I'm doing what I know to be best!
    Dude, wTF? Tell him to educate himself! This whole thread is jacked. WTF all these husbands!?!?

    This! My husband would never pull some of this shit with me. He is like the baby whisperer.
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    ebille said:
    This! My husband would never pull some of this shit with me. He is like the baby whisperer.
    Agreed!  I am so thankful for him.  Some of these husbands need a swift kick in the ass.
    Mom to three girls and pregnant with #4!
    L: 7/12/13
    C: 5/11/15
    E: 3/7/17
    Due 11/10/18
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    Mine is pretty good but I hate how I always have to tell him what needs done. Like when to change her...he says he doesn't know when to do it??? Also since he works and im not right now...its all me. Which is fine but if she's crying and im trying to sjower or pump he'll eat first or finish up what he's doing. My biggest thing is his complaints of how tired he is. He sleeps 7 hrs staight. Id kill for 4 hours in a row! Maybe he is tired but I dont wanna hear it! Vent over.

     

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    Lol, it is a little funny to me when my husband says he's exhausted! It's like, excuse me?!?
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    When we got home from the hospital for two weeks DH was "exhausted". Really dude? I just pushed a watermelon out of my vagina! He still complains about being tired. Hey sometimes id like to go to work for a day!
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    Pink724 said:


    ebille said:


    This! My husband would never pull some of this shit with me. He is like the baby whisperer.

    Agreed!  I am so thankful for him.  Some of these husbands need a swift kick in the ass.

    My bf is the baby whisperer. But hes also the best daddy. I dont know if its cause hes a single dad to his ds but hes amazing to ds and i.

    Hope your husbands get it together soon.
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