i'm truly aghast at the number of folks who seem to think it's okay to plan their own shower. ?i honestly don't understand this sense of entitlement.
yes, it's a wonderful time. ?yes, celebrations are fabulous and fun. ?and of course, babies are a great reason to GTG and party.
but a shower is a GIFT-GIVING EVENT. ?the SOLE purpose of a shower is to "shower" the new mother with gifts for the baby. ?and if you throw a shower for yourself, you're essentially asking people to buy you presents
how is this not greedy, tacky, and completely unacceptable??
Re: can you say "entitlement issues"??
Well, then maybe it's time to open your eyes to the different experiences other people have and instead of getting pissy about a "sense of entitlement" feel a bit of empathy or sorrow for people who don't have friends or family who are willing to take the time or energy to plan a celebration for them whether it be a birthday or a birth of a new baby.
And you know what else...if I ever was invited to a shower thrown by the expecting couple, I would probably purchase a larger gift then normal because I would feel horrible that no one stepped up to give them a shower.
I can't image the disappointment in knowing that your friends and family don't care enough to throw a shower. And the worry about all the stuff that comes with a new baby.
my replies to these posts usually include the suggestion of throwing a "meet the baby" party. ?i do believe that qualifies as planning a celebration of the birth of a new baby. ?and most people do bring gifts to those parties - but it's not a requirement, unlike a shower.?
sing it sister! Preaching to the choir, here!!
Oh, Wan... didn't you know that friends and family are your personal shoppers?? That's why you can shove unrequested registry information down their throats and have a shower for every baby. [shakes head sadly]
Well, it isn't the responsibility of friends and family to supply people with things they need for their own baby, it is, and ONLY is, the parents-to-be's responsibility. If buying everything a person would need to raise a healthy baby causes the parents so much worry that they have to throw their own gift-grubbing pity party, then perhaps they are not in a position to raise their own child.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
The couple to be should not host their own shower in my opinion. If they want to plan, organize, buy the stuff...fine...but let someone else actually "host" it. Even if that is one of their mother's, aunts, cousins, etc. That way if guests have a question they call that person (or people) rather than the couple. I do, however, have no problem with the expecting couple to host a Meet the Baby party AFTER the baby is born. There is no requirement to bring a gift but people will. Those are great for people who choose not to find out the sex, who are having 2nd, 3rd, 4th, babies, etc. I think gift-giving for the arrival of a new baby is the norm in most countries and cultures...they just call it something different (and it is many times after the baby has arrived). Like one pp said...if you can't afford the basics (bed, car seat, highchair, etc) then you don't have the finances to be bringing a baby into the world so should maybe wait a bit.
omg, she hosted her own VIRTUAL shower? so, she said ship me presents, and you can watch me open them on a webcam?
Unless she sent you a diet coke and some jordan almonds she didn't "host" anything. She shook you down for gifts and you bought into it.
*muttering...virtual shower...gift grab...hadja;eoaha*
WOW. That is a sense of entitlement at its finest.
Ditto!
are you daft? ?that is far worse than simply throwing yourself a shower. ?that is the EPITOME of entitlement issues! ?if no one offers to host a shower, you. don't. have. one. ?it is a GIFT!?
Not true. I am from Austria and I have never heard of a baby shower or a Meet a Baby shower or anything like that. We don't have showers there (also no bridal shower). Hosting a party in Europe for the sole purpose to be 'showered' with gifts would be seen as inappropriate and materialistic. It is just not done.
Just a thought on the whole shower and gifts thing....those people that you would invite to a shower are your family and freinds. Whether you had an even called a shower or not, wouldn't those same people want to celebrate the birth of your child by giving a gift? I know that when someone in my family or circle of friends has a child (first, second, third,etc.) I send a gift - to celebrate the arrival of a new child into their family. I don't send a crib or carseat, but a thoughtful, smaller, useful gift.
I guess I just don't solely think of a "shower" as a gift giving event, but more a celebration/get together for someone who is adding a child to their family.
Just my two cents.
I don't think that throwing your own shower is tacky. We all go to our fair share of showers in our lifetime and deserve to have our own when the time comes. Sure, it would be nicer if someone would host one for you, but if no one does then I think it is OK to host your own.
AMEN SISTAH!!!!!!
And some friends are just clueless! Especially the people in their early-mid 20's who haven't been married/had babies. They have no idea that it's traditionally up to friends/family to offer to throw a shower because they haven't had the anxiety of wondering if/when someone was going to step up for them.
I feel extremely fortunate to have friends that wouldn't give a flying flip if I threw my own shower. And I can't imagine staying friends with anyone who would NOT come to my shower just because I threw it myself. I don't think that's a very good friend.
I agree that throwing your own shower is tacky.
I also think having a baby shower for a second/third/etc etc baby is tacky. Unfortunately for my tacky-meter it seems to be becoming more and more acceptable. I figure once I've been to your bridal shower, your wedding, and your first baby shower (all with expensive gifts) I am off the hook. But then getting slammed with the SECOND baby... **sigh** Enough is enough!
No, nobody deserves a shower. This is exactly what's wrong with this culture and this generation. Wow.
Just in case anyone was wondering why the rest of the world hates us...
Please, the laughing, it hurts, bwah ha ha!
I moved to a new state a month before getting engaged. ?I knew no one. ?So, guess what, I had no wedding shower. ?Did I feel miserable, lonely, left out? ?NO. ?People who do need to seek some counseling. ?A party whose sole purpose is to give gifts is not a necessity in life; it is not a judge of how many friend you have nor how much they love you. ?
Although, as a guest, I have to admit I'd prefer a virtual shower. ?That way I could drink myself into oblivion while still being part of the inanity that typifies most showers. ?Yay, how about another round of guess the candy bar smashed into a diaper! ?Sign me up!