BM issues

Blakesmom12

Anyone else have an inferiority complex with BM? I just can't seem to shake it, no matter how much I hate to admit its there.

Ilumine

Did you feel inferior to every Ex Boyfriend's ex girlfriends?  Do your exes have something "more" than your DH; should HE be worried?

Lavender P

What makes you feel inferior? I have the opposite problem...I can't believe he was ever with her.

HisChamaoleGirl

When I first came into the blended family situation I was a bit more shy, quiet and perhaps a little intimidated by it all bc I was 21yrs old. But I don't feel inferior to her.With experience and age I have become stronger and while I see that she portrays herself as better than me and probably wishes I felt that way, I do not. I know that I am doing my best as a step parent and hearing her friends, my husbands relatives and other bio moms say I am doing a good job as a stepmother is all the assurance I need.

ldmessing

I don't feel inferior to anyone, especially a woman who managed to run off a perfectly good husband, and lose custody of 4 great kids

Blakesmom12

I have little to no self esteem so I've always felt this way about other exes. My exes are not worth anything and I know my husband is the best guy nice been with. Hands down.

Blakesmom12

I feel I inferior because I know what he went through when they divorced. I'm scared he misses his daughter so much he'd be with her mom again just to see her. She's remarried and has a kid with her new husband so they're all irrational thoughts but like I said I just can't shake them.

Blakesmom12

@ldmessing I wish I had that strength.

Blakesmom12

Thats awesome you have the support *HiS

Lavender P

I think you should see a counselor together. I know people tend to recommend that a lot but if you think that your DH would go back to his Ex just to see his daughter, I don't think you are thinking rationally and letting your fears get n the way. In your intro, you said that you and DH have a DS. If your DH left you to be with your SD's mom, then he would be so sad to miss your DS. He has children with two different women, therefore he is always going to miss one child or the other. Also, I think counseling could help build up your self esteem, separate from your DH and that would help every aspect of your life. I can't imagine how stressful it is on both of you to feel like he might leave you for her. She is his X for a reason, just keep reminding yourself. One of my favorite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt is (paraphrased) "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." I really hope that you find someone to talk to and can help ease your fears. Good luck!

HisChamaoleGirl

Blakesmom12 said:

Thats awesome you have the support *HiS

Its not something that happened overnight. DH and I have been together for 6.5yrs and it took them awhile to see that I wasn't the monster that BM was making me out to be.