Intro, sorry for the long intro ***ticker warning***

Bruton8288

I don't know how I have the strength to type this late at night after what happened, I am still numb trying to register everything. My name is Omi & today my beautiful Elizabeth Christine was born sleeping & earned her angel wings. She passed at 33 weeks. This pregnancy was a high risk, my first baby girl was born at 36 weeks & stayed in the NICU. Elizabeth's due was Sept 22, the first day of our favorite season, Fall. I was seen by a MFM specialist, had monthly U/S and started weekly BPP at 31 weeks. She looked great 2 weeks ago on her BPP, she was moving & being a normal baby. We had everything ready for her. Her clothes,bassinet,car seat installed just in case she was like her big sis & decide to come early. Today I went for my 33 week checkup with my daughter since her dad had to work,plus we had additional dr appointments for her.  

The nurse mention I was measuring small, had 2 nurses try to find her heartbeat, nothing. I had a U/S right away, I was scared to look at the screen. My dr came in & confirm any expecting mother's fear. She passed. It felt as my soul was being torn apart, but since I had LO with me I didn't want to scare her. I had to be strong, because if I cried I would scare her. I called my husband & he rushed with my MIL to the hospital. Once I saw him all I could say was I;m sorry.

I feel it's my fault, is there something I could have done? My MIL took care of my LO & will be spending the night at her home. I was induced at 9:30 am, had the labor pains, and at 3:45 finally felt like pushing. I gave 4 pushes and she was born sleeping at 3:55 pm CST.

How I wish I could have done anything to hear a cry, she was beautiful. Had her dad's nose & my full lips. She weigh 2lbs, 14 oz & measured at 14 1/4 inches. My eyes hurt from crying so much, I feel like I am in denial, in a dream as if I still cannot believe this happened. We had the hospital create a memory box for us, a few pics were taken & we decided to have an autopsy done. All my OBGYN said was they noticed fluid in her belly, she could have developed an abnormality. We held her for hours & will again one more time tomorrow before I leave the hospital. We will be making funeral arrangements & calling our employers for leave. I feel anger, hysterically crying & just in denial. But all I think about is why. WHY? 

I am sorry about my long post but since we live in a small rural town, most loss support parent groups are in cities near by. Thank you ladie for listening, I am looking forward for the advice & support.

Bruton8288

Also, how can I change my tickers, I did the edit my profile & avatar/signature it isn't working. its so frustrating. 

jess123456

Huge hugs to you. I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby girl. Please know that you aren't alone and we are always here for you. This board is filled with amazing women who really understand and I honestly don't know where I would be without this board. I hope you find it just as helpful and supportive. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. As for the funeral arrangements, perhaps there is a family member outside of you and your husband that can help make those calls? Be gentle with yourself and know that we are here.

Noethola

What a beautiful name you picked for your sweet daughter. I am so very sorry for the reason we welcome you here, as it is always hard to welcome new loss parents. But please know that we do all we can to support one another through our tragic losses. I am glad you are able to have sweet memories with Elizabeth. 

The ultrasound that confirmed our little one's heart had stopped beating is burned in my memory. I can see that screen whether I open or close my eyes at any time. Please be easy on yourself and your family as you all work through the grief over the next few hours, days, weeks and years. 

We are here for you when you need us.

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY WARNING***



I am so, so sorry for the loss of your sweet Elizabeth Christine. It's so hard to welcome new loss moms here, but this is truly a great group of women who know what it's like and are here for you. I lost my son almost a year ago; I was 34 weeks and lost him suddenly to a placental abruption. The days and weeks ahead will be very hard, so please take it easy on yourself. Post here whenever you need to; I know it's a slow board, but a lot of us do lurk and post when new posts are created.

I send you so much love, and peace, and strength. We are definitely here for you.

OSUWifey09

***SIGGY***



Also, regarding your siggy: in this new layout, did you try to delete your siggy by clicking on the icon in the top right corner [the one that looks like a person...well, the top of a person's body, at least]? There's an option under that icon that allows for you to edit your siggy that way. When the new layout rolled out, I had to delete my siggy using the "old" way and the "new" way.

Dixon813

I am so sorry for the loss of your Elizabeth - what a beautiful name.  I'm glad the hospital put together a memory box for you to cherish - just as I know you're cherishing the precious moments.

There are no words of comfort I can offer.  Please know that we're here for you whenever and however you need us...

Many prayers to you and your family.

shandorfml2

I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Elizabeth. We can all relate. At my 37 week appointment they couldn't find my daughter's heart beat either. The next few weeks are going to be very hard, but lean on us as much as you need to. (((hugs)))

Heatherhah

I am so so sorry for the loss of your sweet daughter Elizabeth. I hate welcoming new people to this board since you know the pain we all feel here. I wish I had words to make you feel better but honestly there are none that I can say to make the next few months heck the next year feel better for you. Huge hugs to you!! We are all here when and if you may need us.

Heather

BrittianyM

I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Elizabeth. My heart hurts for you. Sending thoughts & prayers your way. We are all here for you when ever you need us.

princezjk

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl. I wish I had better words to offer you comfort. This board has been a great source of comfort for me and I hope it can do the same for you. Sending you so many (((hugs)))

Mrs Nice

I am so sorry for you loss of Elizabeth. Such a beautiful name. Welcome. I hope you can find some comfort and support here with us.

PerkyErky

***ticker warning***

I am so so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Elizabeth. We never want to welcome anyone to this board because no one wants to be here. But since you are now part of this horrible club, know that the women here get it and understand. They are a great source of support. Every thin you are feeling and everything you will feel...is normal. Big hugs.

hopefulmom88

****Ticker Warning*****

I am so sorry for the loss of your Elizabeth and to welcome you to this board.  It is the place that no mom ever wants to be but I hope you find the support that you need.