I guess I'm thinking of this as a continuum. As in, on a scale of 1-10, where are you in this journey.
1. Totally not accepting Chilfree: NBC - Thinking of ways to keep trying, adopt, foster/adopt
5. Accepted it as reality but still dealing with major bouts of depression over the loss of the dream. Maybe playing around with the idea of how to still fulfill the dream but likely won't act on it.
10. Total acceptance of the Childfree: NBC life. Rare moments of "I wish it had been different." But you and your partner are living life to the fullest despite the fact that having a child "wasn't in the cards" for your family.
It's just such a journey and process to move from the high hopes that many of us once had onto the reality that the dream of parenthood may/will never come true. I know this recent pregnancy/loss really through me for a loop. For the last few years, my husband and I were really in the acceptance stage of childfree. We were probably around a 9. Then this totally unexpected pregnancy came along and it actually took us a bit to get used to the idea. We were shocked. Eventually we became excited at the (seeming) miracle and that I was carrying longer than ever before. When they couldn't find the heartbeat and the baby hadn't grown, my husband actually became angry. It was like a sick joke, as if all this was to get our hopes up and then just drag our hearts back through the mud.
There are days now, more than ever, where I think I'll be Childfree: NBC. I am very happy with my husband. We have our 3 wonderful furbabies. I would say that these last few months knocked me from a 9 on the continuum down to a 6.5-7. Ultimately, it did have a huge impact.
I'm putting this out there as a discussion topic because I need to process it. I just don't have others to process this with.
DO NOT POST SYMPATHY! I want to know YOUR take and where YOU are on the childless/childfree:NBC. I've had enough sympathy emails, letters, posts, hugs and tears to last me a lifetime. I'm asking for your experience and your personal journey if you are willing to share. Heck, if you have a better scale rating, let me know.