This sounds really weird

AshleighW13

Is any one scared or apprehensive about giving birth. With DS I had no anxiety or any fears other than the how much will it hurt. Now I am scared to death something will happen to me and my children will grow up without their mother. Three days after I came home with DS I ended up in the hospital for pulmonary edema, while there they but me in a room next to the OB surgery, and a woman coded during her c-section. It was crazy scary with the alram going off and people yelling. I don't know what happened, if they were able to stabilize her or not but I keep having that replay in my head. Then this year one of our neighbors had just come home from having twins when her son found her dead in the kitchen from a pulmonary embolism. All this is mixing with me trying to make a choice on VBAC or RCS and trying to weigh the risks of both. It's gotten so bad recently that when I look at DS I start to cry because I'm afraid if something happens to me he won't remember me. DH told me the other day that there was nothing so special about either one of us and that it wouldn't be some great tragedy for DS or LO and that I'm being selfish getting up set about this. 

AshleighW13

I'm so so sorry 

HFrizzle

This is my favorite quote to use on my worry wart husband: Worry is like a rocking chair--it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. You can't dwell on things that may happen because all it does is consume all the good things in life that you are missing.

Talk with your doctor and see what he/she recommends. Maybe going into to talk to someone about your fears will help ease your mind.

carawasa

mmgkms said:

Well I wasn't worried. And then I read this. Good lookin out. @-)

this.

LeaLea123

Omg! It sounds like you're having some serious anxiety. I think talking to your doctor would help. You freaked me out a little.

msronzio

Did you already make a post about this? I feel like the story sounds really familiar... Oh well, maybe I'm confused. Anyway PPs nailed it. Worrying isn't going to change any outcomes. You're only going to exhaust yourself. 

AshleighW13

LeaLea123 said:

Omg! It sounds like you're having some serious anxiety. I think talking to your doctor would help. You freaked me out a little.

I'm sorry my intention wasn't to freak anyone out, I really sorry

Wino0920

Wait your DH said what? I would be worried about who you are married to, not what could happen during birth.

CousinVicki

Wino0920 said:

Wait your DH said what? I would be worried about who you are married to, not what could happen during birth.

why is no one else commenting on this??????????????????   hello red flags!!!!!!!!

MySunshine213

Honestly, my first thought was WTF to YH's comment. But really, I agree with PP's, you will make yourself crazy stressing about the what-ifs. I have had similar thoughts, even being nervous that if something happened to me DD won't remember me.. But that would be taking away the precious time I DO have with her, by worrying about something that is unlikely to happen. FWIW, for every story I've heard with a bad ending, I've heard 20 stories where everyone ended up fine. Trust your body, trust your doctors, and make the most out of your pregnancy. It's a happy time!

lawyerlindsay

mmgkms said:

Well I wasn't worried. And then I read this. Good lookin out. @-)

^that's what I was thinking.

OP - sounds like maybe talking to someone, like a therapist, might help calm your fears.

SnoopyLuv

I have been having the same fear - that I will die during this childbirth and DD1 will be motherless. I am chalking it up to hormones and not being able to take my meds. I just try to remind myself how rare it is and made sure my insurance policy was up to date.

msronzio

CousinVicki said:

Wino0920 said:

Wait your DH said what? I would be worried about who you are married to, not what could happen during birth.

why is no one else commenting on this??????????????????   hello red flags!!!!!!!!

lol I thought I was reading it wrong. holy shit. not sure what you meant there OP.

andthatmakes4

I really feel like this has been posted before also. OP, please talk to either your doctor or a therapist. It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety and you are sharing it with us.

Aunt Edna

CousinVicki said:

Wino0920 said:

Wait your DH said what? I would be worried about who you are married to, not what could happen during birth.

why is no one else commenting on this??????????????????   hello red flags!!!!!!!!

I just read the OP and was wondering why nobody commented on the fact that your DH is an asshole.  Seriously, if DH ever said anything like that to me...wait, he wouldn't ever say anything like that to me. Ever. 

There is something special about you, you are your DS's mom and that is extremely important.  Does your DH frequently try to make you feel insignificant and put you down?  That is most definitely a huge issue that you need to deal with and stop immediately before it starts to affect your LOs.  You may need some counseling for your anxiety about the other issues, but I think you and your DH need some marriage counseling as well. 

LeahV78

Aside from your husbands asinine comment, I worry about similar issues. I had PPH with my last birth (text book perfect delivery-all natural) and I am TERRIFIED of it happening again. And chances ARE greater that it will happen. Our local hospital isn't well supplied with blood- so I am driving over an hour away to a regional hospital that is also a trauma center, and has the regions largest blood supply. My mother died when I was younger...and it sucks. I KNOW firsthand what it is like to lose your mother, and I am so scared of leaving my children without a mom. I almost had a panic attack during the hospital tour today...all the sounds and smells reminded me when I was bleeding out. I've asked for OBGYN for a c-section with hysterectomy, but he says it isn't indicated and he won't do it. I figure if I don't have a uterus, I can't really bleed out. I know that is irrational, but I have very quick labors and it is hard on my uterus...it basically went limp after delivering and stopped contracting all together. PPH is the number one cause of maternal death... I'm losing so much sleep over it. I am in therapy (this was an unplanned, unexpected, and honestly unwanted pregnancy) and when my POAS was positive, I just about lost it.

HFrizzle

LeahV78 said:

Aside from your husbands asinine comment, I worry about similar issues. I had PPH with my last birth (text book perfect delivery-all natural) and I am TERRIFIED of it happening again. And chances ARE greater that it will happen. Our local hospital isn't well supplied with blood- so I am driving over an hour away to a regional hospital that is also a trauma center, and has the regions largest blood supply. My mother died when I was younger...and it sucks. I KNOW firsthand what it is like to lose your mother, and I am so scared of leaving my children without a mom. I almost had a panic attack during the hospital tour today...all the sounds and smells reminded me when I was bleeding out. I've asked for OBGYN for a c-section with hysterectomy, but he says it isn't indicated and he won't do it. I figure if I don't have a uterus, I can't really bleed out. I know that is irrational, but I have very quick labors and it is hard on my uterus...it basically went limp after delivering and stopped contracting all together. PPH is the number one cause of maternal death... I'm losing so much sleep over it. I am in therapy (this was an unplanned, unexpected, and honestly unwanted pregnancy) and when my POAS was positive, I just about lost it.

I get that you are trying to help by sharing your story and all....but don't you think your story is a little too much for someone who just posted about all the stuff she is worried about??

germanpickle

You both need to speak to a qualified therapist.

LeaLea123

AshleighW13 said:

LeaLea123 said:

Omg! It sounds like you're having some serious anxiety. I think talking to your doctor would help. You freaked me out a little.

I'm sorry my intention wasn't to freak anyone out, I really sorry

No, no.....it's ok! I just hope you get your anxiety under control so you can enjoy your family! I only felt nervous for you. Good luck! It's all going to be ok!

AlwaysForgetful

AshleighW13 said:

  DH told me the other day that there was nothing so special about either one of us and that it wouldn't be some great tragedy for DS or LO and that I'm being selfish getting up set about this. 

I would smack DH in the head.

You know, my DH is more worried about this than I am. He is worried something would happen and the the 2 boys would go live with their biological father who lives with mama in a full house and rarely sees them (by choice). That would not be a good thing.

I would be concerned about your hospital if there are that many issues with women after Cections. I have had several and have never heard of any issues while there and the only ones I have heard when I came home was a sister of a friend (better than a friend of a friend of a friend) was pretty over weight, more than I, and she had issues with her Csection site not wanting to heal and ended up getting an infection. Yes, there is that risk with every Csection for even non overweight women.

A VBAC or a RCS is up to you. I would love to have had a VBAC in earlier pregnancies. That is me though. I would suggest you do your own research on them and RCS. It is always good to know your options. Don't just look at one or two sites either. Some tend to be slanted one way.