Baby Shower... sigh

Starofd00m

I know I shouldn't be complaining, as I know there are a lot of people that aren't offered to have a Shower thrown for them, but I just need to get something off my chest....not exactly a rant, but close.

My MIL offered to co-host a co-ed open house type Shower with my own Mother back in March, and said she would take care of everything, including asking my mom if she wanted to co-host (which I knew she would). I was touched, actually, as I was not expecting it. But then months go by, she never got in touch with my mom, etc. etc so I had to step in and get things rolling as our families tend to be very busy and getting a date nailed down early was key.  MY MIL really wanted a particular date b/c my SIL and her husband were going to be in town, and having no preference I was all "Sure!" and again, she said she would take care of everything. A few more months go by, and my parents end up having to cancel a vacation because my MIL didn't clear the date with them first. And now this past weekend I had to arrange for the three of us to meet up and talk about things, because it was not a less than a month away and nothing was decided/planned other than deciding where to order some of the food from.  My mom is getting flustered because she claims to have no idea what's going on, my MIL seems like she couldn't care less about planning any of this, and in the end I ended up volunteering to make most of the decorations and I paid for them myself.

In the grand scheme of things, this is all piddly, I know. I'm lucky to be having anything at all.  But it just kinda sucks that I was offered to be thrown a Shower then have to do all the planning, decor, etc. by myself.  I was so surprised and touched when my MIL offered to do this, but now it's like she couldn't care less.  Not to mention my own mom, who is getting all PO'd at me because I "haven't told her what's going on" when she's the one who agreed to co-host with my MIL.  I just feel like it's a big mess.  This past weekend when we were all together I finally told them "hey, you guys need to talk to each other about this, don't look at me I have no idea what's going on!" It's still a bit of a bummer though, and I'll admit my feelings are a tad hurt.  

Thanks for listening - it feels a bit better just getting that out of my head and onto "paper" LOL. 

deedee1017

I think that's crappy on everyone's part.  If your mom was not contacted and nothing was being done, then maybe she should have stepped up.  Perhaps your husband or SO should have said something to his mother.  It seems like no one is taking the initiative here.  It sucks that you got stuck in the middle.  I hope that once you get the ball rolling they get to it.  We're running out of time!

LSP87

What a clusterfuck. I have a problem trusting ppl to get their shit together for this reason. I just told my MIL to do whatever she wanted with her side, my mom and sister with our side and I'll do my own thing with my friends. I learned my lesson at my bridal shower. It's never about what it's supposed to be about, which is to celebrate your new baby. I'll never understand that.

Best of luck! It seems like its getting back on track. Stay positive!

Wino0920

If you are paying for everything, then nothing is being thrown for you. Just simply decline the offer for a shower, take the money you would spend on it, and then some, and have yourself a grand ole time at babies r us.

Amcdonnel1028

Just plan it with your mom. I wouldn't include MIL in planning if she doesn't want to be involved.