October 2013 Moms

Shower invite

Quick question. My mom is hosting my shower.
My husbands sister lives 2000 miles away and won't be attending. However, my mom wants to know if she should still send her an invite?
What do you think?
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Re: Shower invite

  • Absolutely!  It's the thought of being included that counts, even if you know they won't be able to make it.
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    Married 6/26/10  TTC 1/13  BFP 1/31/13   Wills born 10/9/13
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  • Lia1303 said:

    Since she is an immediate family member it may not hurt to send it to her just in case. It's not like its your 3rd cousin twice removed that it would look gift grabby.

    I agree with this. However we were torn because she wasn't on MIL's list of must invites.
    We will include her. Thanks for your help!
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  • If you would invite her if she lived in the same town as you, I'd send one. :)
    I used to be a big deal.  Now I'm just old. 
  • You're better off sending her an invite anyway. You never know who will unexpectedly get their panties in a twist over freaking baby shower invites.

    My aunt did. My very distant aunt who never called me as a child or comments on my pregnancy, except to say "wow!".

    I dk why people think its acceptable to only think about themselves during times like a baby shower..but they do and it sucks. Hopefully she isn't a selfish asshole like my aunt is, but either way, it's probably better to just send her one.
  • I would if she is important to you. There are certain family members of mine that we always send wedding, baby, graduation, etc. Invitations to even though they live out of state. We know they won't make it and we don't expect gifts, but it makes them happy to know we miss them and want them there.


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  • I always say invite them, even if you know that there is no chance they will come. It just shows that you would like them there if they could make it. 
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  • My sister lives in Minnesota and I send her an invite to everything. I would never expect her to fly in for say a block party but I want her to know I'm thinking of her.
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  • My sister lives in Minnesota and I send her an invite to everything. I would never expect her to fly in for say a block party but I want her to know I'm thinking of her.
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  • Yep! I sent all my relatives who live far away invites just to make them feel included :)

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  • It's odd because my mom is sending them to every female in our family all across the country. I think she is just over excited about the grandbaby.
    My MIL didn't even request to send them to her sisters. I think she thinks it is gift-grabby.
    But if I was out of state I would want to feel included too.
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  • Yup!  It's nice to feel included.  We sent invites to my cousin for everything when their family was stationed overseas.  She always wrote a very nice note and was grateful!
    • Married 6/1/2012
    • BFP #1 - 11/17/2012 -  MC 12/10/2012
    • BFP #2 - 2/12/2013 - EDD 10/17/2013 - DD Born 10/10/2013
    • BFP #3 - 1/29/2014 - Ectopic pregnancy discovered 1/31/2014
    • BFP #4 - 9/28/2014 - EDD 6/4/2015 - DS Born 5/31/2015


  • It's odd because my mom is sending them to every female in our family all across the country. I think she is just over excited about the grandbaby. My MIL didn't even request to send them to her sisters. I think she thinks it is gift-grabby. But if I was out of state I would want to feel included too.
    My mom and MIL were the same way with my shower when I was pg with DD. My mother was so excited (she hosted) and invited everyone she knew. My MIL barely invited anyone. She claimed in her circle of friends they don't invite each other to "stuff like that". Umm, ok. 

    To answer your question, I'd send the invite :)
  • I included a few close friends and relatives who live out of state and I know they won't be able to make it. I just wanted them to feel included. 

    I did not send one to my BFF who lives two states away, because I know she'd open it and be like, "WTF, she knows I can't go", and not understand that I just sent it as a gesture. 
  • I had this same issue because most of DH's family lives out of state.  I didn't want to seem like I was looking for gifts when I knew they weren't going to come.  I decided to send them to everyone, because I wanted them to feel included.

    BFP: 1.19.2013 - EDD: 10.2.2013 - It's a girl! 9.25.13: Welcome Addison!

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