so sad about all the losses — The Bump
March 2014 Moms

so sad about all the losses

Hi all,
I had a loss in January and (so far) all is good with this pregnancy. I somehow got onto a loss thread today and now I am seeing all the miscarriages posted about today, and I just feel so emotional about it. I cried reading someone's story. I just wanted to share my condolences with everyone, and also my fear about this happening again. So far I have had two healthy heartbeats, but then you hear of stories of the baby's heart still stopping, or much worse, a stillborn much later in a pregnancy that was healthy until this point. Is this something I should bring up to my doctor, or will he just tell me to take a chill pill? It's so scary and so sad. Thoughts and prayers to everyone going through this life changing events.
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie First Birthday tickers


Check out my blog: www.lifescravin.blogspot.com

Re: so sad about all the losses

  • You could ask for the statistics, but that may or may not help you.  It used to comfort me in my last pregnancy that the chances of a loss after 12 weeks goes down considerable, but when it happened to ME at 22 weeks, the stats mean nothing.  That's why I cringe whenever I hear somenoe talking about "the safe period" after first tri.  The best I can say is take one day at a time and be thankful for every day that you're pregnant.  Worrying about it won't make it not happen, or happen and in most cases there is nothing that can be done unless you have a known issue that can be monitored ahead of time.
    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

    image

  • Angelsnight, I don't know your story, but I can't even imagine what you went through. Stories like yours make me want to be prepared for any situation! I agree about the "safe" period not being over. I know that the worry never ends - that "shit happens" every day, babies are premature and not developed enough, or infants are born healthy and then die of SIDs, and that young kids get cancer and all these awful morbid thoughts. Things like incompetent cervixes and placental issues - are they preventable? I guess I just want to be prepared and prevent what is actually within our control, does that make sense? I know to be grateful for my journey and that some things are not in our hands (like chromosomal abnormalities that cause miscarriages, etc), but I want to take control of what is. Hope that makes sense, ladies! Deepest condolences and thoughts and prayers to everyone suffering right now.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers


    Check out my blog: www.lifescravin.blogspot.com
  • Thank you for acknowledging the losses. I was an expectant March Mommy until yesterday. My first loss and hopefully my last.
  • Angelsnight, I don't know your story, but I can't even imagine what you went through. Stories like yours make me want to be prepared for any situation! I agree about the "safe" period not being over. I know that the worry never ends - that "shit happens" every day, babies are premature and not developed enough, or infants are born healthy and then die of SIDs, and that young kids get cancer and all these awful morbid thoughts. Things like incompetent cervixes and placental issues - are they preventable? I guess I just want to be prepared and prevent what is actually within our control, does that make sense? I know to be grateful for my journey and that some things are not in our hands (like chromosomal abnormalities that cause miscarriages, etc), but I want to take control of what is. Hope that makes sense, ladies! Deepest condolences and thoughts and prayers to everyone suffering right now.

    Placenta issues, I am not sure, but I don't think so.  IC...sort of.  Because I have a history, there are things they can do this time to up my chances of my baby staying in until term like a cerclage, monitoring and bed rest if need be and progesterone shots.  However for someone with no history, it is not routinely watched for.  I personally do not see why it would be all that time consuming or expensive to do a baseline cervical measurement say around 10-12 weeks, and then another check at around 18 weeks to make sure there haven't been any changes and if so an emergency cerclage and/or bed rest might help.

    But in the medical world they go by stats and apparently 1 in 100 pregnancies is not enough to make cervical checks routine.  I get that there are a million things that can go wrong and they can't possibly check for all of them, but like I said, I wouldn't think a quick baseline measure and follow up would be that difficult. 

    Lilypie - (fm2j)

    Lilypie - (YesX)

     My Pregnancy/Parenting BLOG TTC since 5/2011, BFP #1 12/3/11, M/C 12/7/11 @ 4wks 2d. Began seeing RE Sep 2012. October 2012 Metformin 1500 mg= ovulation on CD34 BFP#2 11/14/12 9DPO, EDD 7/26/13, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks, our angel born sleeping 3/24/13 @ 22wks 2d. BFP #3 7/4/13 8DPO EDD 3/22/14, DX Gestational Diabetes @14 wks. started insulin @16 wks.  Our rainbow, born 3/19/14 @ 39wks 6d., we're so in love!

    image

  • Seriously! Especially if it's preventable! Maybe it's one of those things that we can advocate for ourselves and request. I wouldn't mind paying a bit out of pocket to know that I am doing everything to keep baby in there.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers


    Check out my blog: www.lifescravin.blogspot.com
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