Can of worms discussion sparked another pet peeve of mine....

emmasue18

Stepping up on soap box.......

I want to say RIGHT now that the argument that a vaginal delivery is more of an accomplishment than is C-section is SUCH crap. I have had both and let me tell you---a C-section is waaaay harder to recover from. If someone wants to schedule a major surgery for whatever reason, that does not mean they are taking the "easy" way out. I am begging my OB to let me try to VBAC because I am terrified to go through that again. So let us stop that argument before it happens! PROPS TO ANYONE THAT GROWS A CHILD FOR NINE MONTHS AND POPS THEM OUT IN WHATEVER FASHION.

Also, a natural delivery is a non-medicated delivery---NOT a vaginal delivery. IMO.

Stepping down....

ETA: I should not have said it was way worse in every scenario, just from my personal experience. I am sure there are some gnarly tears out there and I know someone that ripped front to back and was told to have no more children. You are correct, that was unfair. I just feel at the end of our pregnancies C-section women are almost put below women that gave birth vaginally. I have been told, you are so lucky you had a C-section and I got very uneasy with that. Sorry ladies!

JordyInIndy

Why did you say "let us stop that argument before it even happens" when you clearly put argumentative text in this post? I'm more than ready to go glove to glove with you over whether or not a natural delivery is only unmedicated vs medicated vs c-section.

Also, have you heard how bad some women tear down there after a vag delivery? You think that shit is a walk in the park? You're high.

Fucahwe

I had all 3 of mine vsginally, the first one completely natural. Bc of health problems, my ob has already told me to prepare myself for the possibility of a v section, and I'm scared to death

RondackHiker

I hated my c-section. Hated it.

Let's face it. No way of bringing the baby into the world is easy. You're going to feel terrible and need recovery time afterwards. Babies are big and there's no fun way to get them out of there.

I feel like anyone who makes a crack about 'the easy way' should be instantly forced to do diaper duty, midnight feedings, and carrying things for the new mom for a week.

JordyInIndy

car seat said:

Oh my God, I'd rather have a vaginal delivery than a c-section, every time. I give mad props to women who have to care for newborns after major abdominal surgery. I have a higher chance of needing a c-section this time, and I'm traveling to a much farther OB and hospital for someone who has a higher record of vaginal twin deliveries, just to avoid that surgical recovery.

Anyone who thinks a c-section is the easy way is an idiot. That's a rough road.

I don't think a C-section is the easy way out at all. I'm just annoyed with the tone. Once again "I've had a section and it's wayyyyy worse so you vag ladies don't know squat."

Also, the "natural birth" thing. There's a baby coming out of you. It's natural for you and your needs so who on the hell cares how it gets here.

emmasue18

JordyInIndy said:

Why did you say "let us stop that argument before it even happens" when you clearly put argumentative text in this post? I'm more than ready to go glove to glove with you over whether or not a natural delivery is only unmedicated vs medicated vs c-section. Also, have you heard how bad some women tear down there after a vag delivery? You think that shit is a walk in the park? You're high.

I did tear, not 3rd degree but I definitely think have several layers and an organ cut open is MUCH worse. No, that sucks and is certainly not a walk in the park!

tenfour

Put me in the club of women who took a full year to recover from vaginal birth. The tearing can be no joke sometime. I'm so jealous of those women who's little fishie babies who just swam right out!

oscarkat

oh oh, let me vent about a C-Section for one second.

First off - this only relates to one friend of mine. She is childless, and can't even hold down a relationship because she still acts like she's in highschool.

She lectures me every time I'm pregnant because I go vaginal. Her opinion "That's disgusting. When I get pregnant I'm having a C-Section because I want to be able to come home from the hospital and have sex right away".

That's seriously her argument. I realize she has no clue, and I don't get into it with her because I don't have the energy. I just want to slap her some times though.

Everyone else, C-section, vaginal, who cares. Do what you want, it's not my body. All I want is not to be induced. Both previous pregnancies I had to be, and I tried to tough it out, but those contractions sucked and I'm no hero (hello epi).

RustyGirl3

My SIL had a C-Section one month before I delivered my daughter vaginally with no medication with a 3rd degree tear.

She thought her c-section was amazing and felt sorry for me.

It all boils down to the individual experience.  No two deliveries (even if they are both c-sections or both vaginal) are going to be exactly the same.

There's no point in even starting an "argument" like this...it's pointless.

Fucahwe

oscarkat said:

oh oh, let me vent about a C-Section for one second.

First off - this only relates to one friend of mine. She is childless, and can't even hold down a relationship because she still acts like she's in highschool.

She lectures me every time I'm pregnant because I go vaginal. Her opinion "That's disgusting. When I get pregnant I'm having a C-Section because I want to be able to come home from the hospital and have sex right away".

That's seriously her argument. I realize she has no clue, and I don't get into it with her because I don't have the energy. I just want to slap her some times though.

Everyone else, C-section, vaginal, who cares. Do what you want, it's not my body. All I want is not to be induced. Both previous pregnancies I had to be, and I tried to tough it out, but those contractions sucked and I'm no hero (hello epi).

Ditto about the induced thing. I was induced with my first (2 weeks past edd, losing too much fluid) and it took 26 hours 14 minutes from the time they started the meds to push that kid out. And I did it without pain meds. The second time around, I called ahead to make sure the epi was waiting for me! Lol

emmasue18

I seriously was not thinking this was going to spark an argument. I guess I was comparing my beautiful, easy vaginal to my horrible experience with my C-section. I am sorry ladies.

RustyGirl3

For the most part without getting down to details, of course a C-Section is harder than a vaginal delivery.  It's major surgery, but speaking to a room full of people you are going to get different responses about what their experiences were like.

halfthetree

car seat said:

Oh my God, I'd rather have a vaginal delivery than a c-section, every time. I give mad props to women who have to care for newborns after major abdominal surgery. I have a higher chance of needing a c-section this time, and I'm traveling to a much farther OB and hospital for someone who has a higher record of vaginal twin deliveries, just to avoid that surgical recovery.

Anyone who thinks a c-section is the easy way is an idiot. That's a rough road.

Totally. I would never want a c-section, I can't even imagine that recovery with a newborn. I choose natural birth because I'm a big wuss, my vagina will heal much faster than I would from a major surgery.

Kedra231

Although I knew (& had seen many vids on birth) when I sat through the movies for our birthing class, & went home thinking, Hell no, I need a 3rd option, NOW, b/c I am NOT in for either of those options.

I went in & was induced b/c of issues, but after hours of labor, baby had issues, so I had an emergency C-section.  My 2nd was an planned C-section (& I was already in labor that time), and now, 3rd time around, there's really not much choice, plus, it's twins, so...yeah.  Slice & dice, doc.

I think a LOT depends on the circumstances.  My 1st C-section was fine, (& actually a blessing in disguise...the cord was knotted every inch & a half to 2 inches, & it was wrapped around her neck 1-2 times, with the knots kinda keeping it from slipping, so, C-section saved us from a possibly VERY bad ending).  

2nd C-section, the nurse He-Manned my stomach muscles, & over-pulled.  OMG, did that hurt.  I knew right away something was wrong when I got back to the room, even before all the meds wore off.  After I complained & told them something was off, & it wasn't going away, they told me what had happened during delivery.  I'd heard the doctor warn her, but I thought he was just getting her attention on another bleed, since I WAS in labor & they were having some issues.  THAT C-section took a lot more time to recover from, & was a lot more painful.

This time around...I just have fingers crossed.  

What peeves me?  When they don't really explain what all Pitocin can do to you, &, when the damn meds fail...REPEATEDLY...Those are MY peeves.  Oh, & those shows about pregnant women where they REFUSE & throw a fit about having a C-section when the doctor has told them it's absolutely vital for saving the baby/saving the mom's life.  They absolutely refuse until it becomes a legal issue.  Really, so, your pre-set plans (for whatever reason, a belief that natural is better, or they wanted non-medicated, or they're just afraid for themselves), that idea is more important than delivering your struggling, failing baby immediately in the safest way possible?  I need to stop watching those shows on TLC, b/c that drives me nuts.  I don't understand mom's that put their ideas/wants above their baby's safety & life when they've been shown & told that their baby is in danger.  

As for everybody else who isn't in an emergency situation, again, it's a personal choice, and sometimes, it's NO choice at all, it's a medical necessity, so judging over what someone does with their privates, (or doesn't do) doesn't impact me, so, I don't care.  In the end, a healthy baby is all that matters.

LotzaLuvz

Alllllllll deliveries are painful and hard and unique and and and ! Ok with my first I was induced and had an epi. Omg I thought he wasnt ever gonna come out. With my daughter I had a laceration after having her and had to have surgery and blood. Not fun! Needless to say I waited 5 years to have another child it scared me that bad. With that baby I was induced with no epi but, given some happy meds and it of course hurt bad. Same situation with number four but with no pain meds or happy meds. Number five induced with epi and his shoulder got stuck and ouch! Number six I delivered at 17 weeks. He was a missed misscarriage. So thats what I went through and I havnt had a c section and hope I dont have to. My sister had one and was hurting bad she says. I know some of my tears were very painful though. I have tore 3rd degree before and then the cervical laceration was no picnic in the park.

[Deleted User]

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LotzaLuvz

No one should be made to feel bad for how their LO got here. My main concern is " did your bean make it and how are you feeling". It's all about getting our babies here safely and having a healthy Mommy too. No matter the process.

tfkre8ive

LotzaLuvz said:

No one should be made to feel bad for how their LO got here. My main concern is " did your bean make it and how are you feeling". It's all about getting our babies here safely and having a healthy Mommy too. No matter the process.

Well said.

LotzaLuvz

Oh and if I had to have a c section I would in a heart beat because it's all about getting The baby out safely and keeping Momma alive too!

jenniejuniper1

Speaking as a first time mom, neither a C-section or a vag delivery sound like a cakewalk. LOL! They're both frought with challenges. The only thing I know for sure, is that a beautiful baby emerges at the end of either! 

LotzaLuvz

I couldn't just elect to have one just cause. |)

ZAngel

This will be my third c-section.  I've never really thought that I have it better or worse than anyone else.  I'm sure no delivery is pain free.  I know that I have to do what I have to do to keep myself and baby healthy.  I would LOVE nothing more than to experience a vaginal delivery but I understand why it will never happen. 

LotzaLuvz

You are doing what you have to , to make sure all goes well. You aren't electing to have a c section just cuz. You have to. Big difference.

pinkgrl84

All I can say about this whole thread is that I am a FTM and this makes me freaked out for any type of delivery...let the anxiety begin!!

RustyGirl3

pinkgrl84 said:

All I can say about this whole thread is that I am a FTM and this makes me freaked out for any type of delivery...let the anxiety begin!!

It's normal to worry about what will happen because no one can determine what it will be like.  You can read everything and practice breathing and positions but its nothing compared to what it's like when its really happening. 

You will be ready though...in the moment...you just are. 

LotzaLuvz

Yep! What Tappen says. I can remember thinking each time oh gosh I can't do this as I was pushing my babe out but, I did. You just somehow do. Not a one went according to how I thought it would.

Missy0483

Every single delivery is different. Whether you've had both a vaginal delivery as well as a c-section, it doesn't mean one or the other is easier. Maybe just that one time, but it doesn't guarantee an easy delivery the next time. You know what sucks??? A 60 hour induction, dilating to 9.5cms fully effaced, just for baby to turn sunny side up and stuck at a -2/-3 station and ending in a c-section. That's what happened to me. As long as your baby gets here safely and YOU are safe as well, there should be no arguments about how you got there.

LotzaLuvz

Oh man! Im glad you and your baby are ok. That was scary !

Missy0483

LotzaLuvz said:

Oh man! Im glad you and your baby are ok. That was scary !

@LotzaLuvz If you're referring to me, unfortunately he passed away at 6 months old, but that had nothing to do with delivery. We were both perfectly fine after my c-section.

LotzaLuvz

Awwwwww I had no idea Missy! I am sad that happened. I lost my little man in uterine but, if you ever need a friend I am here for you.

cjmFeb2014

emmasue18 said:

I am begging my OB to let me try to VBAC because I am terrified to go through that again.

Go you! I wrote a literature review in nursing school in support of VBAC. The articles are probably out of date by now but if your OB needs further convincing I would totally dig them up for ya. (:

Fucahwe

tenfour said:

Put me in the club of women who took a full year to recover from vaginal birth. The tearing can be no joke sometime. I'm so jealous of those women who's little fishie babies who just swam right out!

I took a LONG time to recover from my first. And she was only 7.12 I tore, I was cut. I cried for months after whenever I had to pee. #2 was 9 lbs and I was cut again. And I needed a d&c and the dr stuck his entire hand ul there to try and find the source of my hemorrhaging. Ouch for months. #3 was itty bitty (7lbs) and slid right out...literally, the nurse came in to check me and made my husband stand there with his hands out bc she was already looking at us. (oh happy epidural, I didn't feel a thing,lol) the drs came running in just in time for her to slither on out. Tmi? Sorry! Lol recovery time was a couple of hours that time. No idea what a c section is like, but don't bash us v birthers either...we gots our issues too!

eveningstar2004

As the original can of worms opener...... I had  a natural delivery with 50 stitches! Hand up by face had to cut in to  repair after. Not fun! But I would do that 20 times over to  get out of having a C section! It is major surgery! They cut through layers of skin and muscle and nerve people! And pull a baby out through said cut area. H*'ll no! My 50 stitches were 10 times easier than  that!

slwprincess

Vaginal or C/S- we all deserve a frickin medal.  If you push the baby out through your nose, then ok... you win.  There is no "easy" way out.  For the record I have never labored.  My first was a c/s b/c DS had reduced fetal movement and heart rate.  I was given the option to induce or go straight for c/s.  I asked if she thought I'd end up with a c/s anyway and she said yes so I said skip the induction- get him out.  Thank God I did... he had swallowed meconium and had a collapsed lung.  So if you think I took the easy way out... fine.  My son is alive and healthy and that's all that matters to me.  To be honest, I thought that first c/s was a breeze.  Maybe I was so focused on him being in the NICU and getting better that I didn't notice my own pain?  Or maybe I healed better b/c he was in the NICU and I had no choice but to rest?  My second one was a scheduled c/s.  I had a much harder recovery that time b/c I kept overdoing it.  Having a toddler at home- I felt rushed to get back.  I won't do that this time.  I will stay in the hospital as long as they allow and both of my older kids will stay with relatives for the entire first week I'm at home.  I plan to sit on my ass and nurse and that's it. Sure, in a lot of ways, scheduled c/s are easier.  At least up front.  But you definitely pay for it on the back end.   

JLaura214

pinkgrl84 said:

All I can say about this whole thread is that I am a FTM and this makes me freaked out for any type of delivery...let the anxiety begin!!

haha, I agree! Thanks everyone! 

Sweets11

JordyInIndy said:

Why did you say "let us stop that argument before it even happens" when you clearly put argumentative text in this post? I'm more than ready to go glove to glove with you over whether or not a natural delivery is only unmedicated vs medicated vs c-section.

Also, have you heard how bad some women tear down there after a vag delivery? You think that shit is a walk in the park? You're high.

Yep. 4th degree tears here. I couldn't walk for more than 10 minutes at a time for two weeks straight. It came with hemmies the size of golf balls.

There is no 'easy way' ladies. I don't like the whole c-section is harder than vag delivery and vice versa arguments. They make my lady parts hurt.

MoxyByProxy

Holy geeze ladies!

I'm glad you are all here.. it means the lady parts were in good enough shape for another round.

Giving birth is tough business no matter which route you go.. but I do have to say.. it annoys me to see ftm who are all prissy and think that a cs is optional rather than necessary. . Not that I've ever seen that HERE .. but I have seen it asked else where.

amerk1107

Wanted to say thank you for supporting all choices for women who are having babies. You made my day.