Trisomy 18

Pintobean39

I got a call this morning from my dr on the genetic testing on my baby. It came back that it had trisomy 18.

He told me that he didn't suggest any more genetic testing that sometimes it just happens. Might have something to do with my AMA because over the age of 35 chromosomal defects can increase. He said that it probably only increases my chances of having another baby with it by about 1%, but I have 99% chance it will be fine. He told me babies born with trisomy 18 never have good out outcome. Also, there was nothing I did to cause this mc.

Alright knowing all of this is suppose to make me feel better that it wasn't my fault or anything I did and I can possibly have a healthy baby in the future. But, also knowing all this is making me morn my baby all over again and regardless of what he says still scares me for any future pregnancy.

This probably isn't the board I needed to post this on because I'm not sure if many have had this happen to them, but I just needed to vent.

MommaAshley12

So sorry for your loss. Glad you have a diagnosis and that they are pretty confident that subsequent babies will have a low chance of having the same outcome. Take care of yourself during this emotional time. T&p for you.

ChickadDeedee

I'm sorry about the T18 diagnosis, and your doctor is right in that it is a rare occurrence, and is unlikely to happen again. Most T18, babies don't make it to term, and those that do, often have a very rough road with a short lifespan. There is nothing you could have done to prevent it, and I'm so sorry you are dealing with the pain again. ::Hugs::

lookame3639

Im so sorry:(

Sarah52Beth

I'm so sorry Pinto! You're a part of this community, so there's no reason to feel this wasn't the right board. I'll be sending happy thoughts your way.

(((Hugs)))

Wildfire2011

Sorry that you had to go through that experience of loss.  Any loss is painful to process, even if it was a low chance event that's unlikely to happen again. Hope you feel better soon and best wishes to you for a happy, healthy pregnancy next time *hugs*

sister13

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Wishing you some peace with this news and the very biggest for a successful pregnancy around the corner!

Hooper88

I am so sorry Best wishes for your continued TTC journey.

Amy+Ryan

Im so sorry for your loss.

Southernpeach80

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

MrsWallick

So sorry you are going through this. Sometimes OBs are so desensitized from these types of situations. We are all pulling for you!!

Pintobean39

Thanks everyone. Of course when I called my DH at work to tell him he says to me did he say the med you take may have contributed to it. SERIOUSLY????

He's a dr too and I know he thinks like a dr but damn! Right before I got pregnant I had surgery on my head. The drilled a hole in my head and I had to take lots of Percocet. Since I'd been trying for so long to get preg I never even thought twice about it at the time. Not to mention I didn't have a choice I had a freaking hole in my head I needed it.

I also take baclofen on a daily basis and I can't get off of it or I can't walk. So yes in my crazy mind I always wonder if this will cause crazy screwed up eggs ...... But did you have to remind me of that right now!!!!!

NO I didn't ask. I was trying to compose myself enough to write down what he was saying and I was shaking so bad I could barely do that. You're a freaking Dr. Figure that shit out on your own!!!!!!

UUUUGGGGG!!!!!

TeeJ526

I'm so sorry for your loss Pinto. I'm glad you got to find out that you didn't do anything to cause the m/c. Please take care of yourself.

themrsJRD

Pp's have said it all, just want to say sorry for your loss and please don't think about blaming yourself! and I am rooting for you in your journey!

Juniejones

I'm so sorry pinto, I had MC diagnosed with trisomy 15 and that one is not compatible with life. Now I have a beautiful baby and I'm in 36, so please don't lose hope. (Hugs)

CopperPoppy

I'm sorry Pinto. Glad that there are some answers and that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. I know that doesn't change how you feel about it right now. Lots of love to you and your family. Good luck on your journey.

Ps- I know we all love our DH/SO but they can be such men. And I'm sorry that he revived that guilt. Everyone here knows that you can't blame yourself.

melissa721

I'm so sorry for the news. It's hard to relive the loss all over again. GL to you if you continue trying for a baby.

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Spookster

I am so sorry :-(

Twinkie0612

Pintobean39 said:

Thanks everyone. Of course when I called my DH at work to tell him he says to me did he say the med you take may have contributed to it. SERIOUSLY???? He's a dr too and I know he thinks like a dr but damn! Right before I got pregnant I had surgery on my head. The drilled a hole in my head and I had to take lots of Percocet. Since I'd been trying for so long to get preg I never even thought twice about it at the time. Not to mention I didn't have a choice I had a freaking hole in my head I needed it. I also take baclofen on a daily basis and I can't get off of it or I can't walk. So yes in my crazy mind I always wonder if this will cause crazy screwed up eggs ...... But did you have to remind me of that right now!!!!! NO I didn't ask. I was trying to compose myself enough to write down what he was saying and I was shaking so bad I could barely do that. You're a freaking Dr. Figure that shit out on your own!!!!!! UUUUGGGGG!!!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss.  You should tell your husband to learn some bedside manners.  Most causes of miscarriages (including Trisomy 18) are just bad luck in the genetic lottery.  Nothing that you did caused your baby to have Trisomy 18 and I think it's crappy that your husband would even suggest such a thing.  I would send him this link:  https://www.trisomy18.org/site/PageServer?pagename=whatisT18_whatis and then tell him that he owes you an apology. 

maemejo

I'm so sorry for your loss.

jaytee16

I'm so sorry for your loss and everything you're going through.  ((Hugs))

Pintobean39

Thanks for the link.
I've always worried about my baclofen but my ob doesn't seem concerned with it. He just said I have to discontinue it as soon as I find out I'm pregnant. My neurologist told me she has lots of patients on it also who go on to have normal pregnancies. Even patients on the baclofen pump and take it the whole pregnancy with no problems. I'm lucky enough that whatever is going on with me is auto immune and pregnancy seems to make it go away. So now I just got to get preg again.

Y'all are such wonderful ladies on this board (regardless what anyone says lol). You have really made this news much easier for me. I can't thank each and every one of you enough!

bornmommy

I'm so sorry, Pinto.  Be good to yourself.

JulianneJacks

I'm so sorry for your loss.

mmb248

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I cannot imagine trying to process that information or trying to keep from worrying about it happening in the future.  Big creepy internet hugs.

PS - I'm sorry your DH acted like a douchenozzle.  I hope he realizes how unnecessary his comment was and apologizes soon.

Pintobean39

mmb248 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I cannot imagine trying to process that information or trying to keep from worrying about it happening in the future.  Big creepy internet hugs.

PS - I'm sorry your DH acted like a douchenozzle.  I hope he realizes how unnecessary his comment was and apologizes soon.

I'm sure he doesn't realize it.... He's a man and thinks like a doctor. I don't think sometimes he can separate dr/husband with me sometimes. It's a fault that i have to sometime accept But trust me tonight he's going to hear about it! He called the dr and got the full report so he could look over it.

Pintobean39

My DH brought the report home and it said she was a girl.

We had picked out a name because I knew it was a girl. Her name was going to be Sophia Madeline. So she now officially has a name.

coopsbaby

I'm so sorry Pinto!

Valie18

Pintobean39 said:

My DH brought the report home and it said she was a girl. We had picked out a name because I knew it was a girl. Her name was going to be Sophia Madeline. So she now officially has a name.

I'm so sorry for your loss Pinto.

I think you and your DH chose a beautiful name.

BlackBooks

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Just because something is out of our control doesn't mean it hurts any less. Hugs for you

BankerBSN

Pinto, I am very sorry for your loss.  Your daughter has a beautiful name.

Please do not blame yourself or the meds your DH is taking.  Trisomy 18 is an extra chromosome on the 18th Chromosome and is not realted to medication/actions.

:::creepy internet hugs:::

merebear09

I'm sorry for your loss of Sophia Madeline, Pinto. You chose a beautiful name for her.

As for your DH, people process grief differently, and it may be just his way - if he finds a reason to latch on to, he can understand it better, and maybe prevent it and/or it won't feel so arbitrary and unfair.

However, he owes you an apology for insinuating that your medication (which I assume you take so you can function properly!) had anything to do with it. Especially since as a trained physician, he should KNOW BETTER. Either his genetics instructors were really poor, or grief made him forget everything he knows about human aneuploidy (trisomy). Your med mimics the neurotransmitter GABA. The only relationship it has to gametogenesis is that they're close together in the alphabet.

Pintobean39

I talked to him about what he said. He was so full of apologies. He said he meant for me to ask if my meds could ever cause any problems. He said he was just a little thrown off when I gave him the news and didn't mean for it to come off like that.

My DH never told me she was a girl actually we sat around the table with my 14 yr old son and all looked at the report together. My son thought it was cool how they showed the chromosomes. And it was my 14 yr old that told me she was a girl. I prob turned white as a ghost. I asked him how he knew .... He said "mama she has two X chromosomes did you ever learn anything in school?"

Marcilene1

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I am waiting for genetic testing results as well and I am (in a horrible way) hoping that it was some kind of chromosomal defect so that I know that it wasn't anything about my own body that caused the loss.  That being said, I know that once we get the results it will start the grieving process all over again (no matter what they say).

This is not fair at all and I hope that you find peace in the coming days and months and that you get your rainbow baby sooner rather than later.  Be kind to yourself and take care.  (((hugs)))

Marcilene1

Twinkie0612 said:

Pintobean39 said:

Thanks everyone. Of course when I called my DH at work to tell him he says to me did he say the med you take may have contributed to it. SERIOUSLY???? He's a dr too and I know he thinks like a dr but damn! Right before I got pregnant I had surgery on my head. The drilled a hole in my head and I had to take lots of Percocet. Since I'd been trying for so long to get preg I never even thought twice about it at the time. Not to mention I didn't have a choice I had a freaking hole in my head I needed it. I also take baclofen on a daily basis and I can't get off of it or I can't walk. So yes in my crazy mind I always wonder if this will cause crazy screwed up eggs ...... But did you have to remind me of that right now!!!!! NO I didn't ask. I was trying to compose myself enough to write down what he was saying and I was shaking so bad I could barely do that. You're a freaking Dr. Figure that shit out on your own!!!!!! UUUUGGGGG!!!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss.  You should tell your husband to learn some bedside manners.  Most causes of miscarriages (including Trisomy 18) are just bad luck in the genetic lottery.  Nothing that you did caused your baby to have Trisomy 18 and I think it's crappy that your husband would even suggest such a thing.  I would send him this link:  https://www.trisomy18.org/site/PageServer?pagename=whatisT18_whatis and then tell him that he owes you an apology. 

 Yup.

Pintobean39

Marcilene1 said:

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I am waiting for genetic testing results as well and I am (in a horrible way) hoping that it was some kind of chromosomal defect so that I know that it wasn't anything about my own body that caused the loss.  That being said, I know that once we get the results it will start the grieving process all over again (no matter what they say).

This is not fair at all and I hope that you find peace in the coming days and months and that you get your rainbow baby sooner rather than later.  Be kind to yourself and take care.  (((hugs)))

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's definitely a bitter sweet feeling. I will be thinking of you and hopefully you won't have to wait much longer to get your test results.

Marcilene1

Pintobean39 said:

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I am waiting for genetic testing results as well and I am (in a horrible way) hoping that it was some kind of chromosomal defect so that I know that it wasn't anything about my own body that caused the loss.  That being said, I know that once we get the results it will start the grieving process all over again (no matter what they say).

This is not fair at all and I hope that you find peace in the coming days and months and that you get your rainbow baby sooner rather than later.  Be kind to yourself and take care.  (((hugs)))

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's definitely a bitter sweet feeling. I will be thinking of you and hopefully you won't have to wait much longer to get your test results.

Thank you.  The doctor said two weeks which isn't long thankfully.

MelanieAdam0707

So sorry about your loss and the difficult time you're having.

JKTTC1

So sorry. There's a fb page of a little boy born with tri18. Check it out. I think it's called praying for Corbin. He's 4 months old. There's still hope!