Looking for guidance/ help/ suggestions

Melkat4

First of all I was diagnosed five years age with endometriosis. For a few years my husband and I put off starting a family so I could be treated for the pain and symptoms. Then we took one of the docs advice and started trying for the six months between my hormone therapy treatments... No luck. I finally decided to just completely stop taking all my meds and pray for the best. Symptoms got worse each month and each negative test made me feel like I was just never going to conceive. Then a few weeks ago we finally got a positive pregnancy test. We couldn't be more happy and we can't wait to share the news... A few problems though. 1. We really want to wait till the 12 week mark (only at six now). 2. We live overseas so we can't tell our parents, who we want to be the first to know, in person. 3. Since finding out we've had a lot of other friends and family announce their pregnancies and now ours feels less special 4. If we don't tell my dad this week we will have to notify him by email because leaves for Afghanistan next week. 5. I'm feeling really guilty about lying about why I can't do stuff (because it either poses a risk or because I'm bogged down with morning sickness). On top of all that this is my first pregnancy and we have waited for this a long time and dont want to take any chances. However, the doctors here won't see me until I'm through my first trimester and I feel like it would be helpful to talk to someone who's been through it. Of course there is a possibility that I'm overly concerned but I feel like the OB clinic here is not concerned with anything regarding my pregnancy. I told them that I was have really bad cramping on one side and I have a history of endometriosis, cysts and fibroids. They said call their hotline and if their concerned they'll call me in 72 hours. Does anybody have any advice or suggestions as to what I should do?

benevolentforce

First off, so sorry to hear you're dealing with all this in isolation!  I live overseas, and haven't told my family and friends back in the States yet for similar reasons so I understand.

I think the answer to your question really comes down to your comfort level with sharing potential sad news later.  If I were in your shoes, and I wanted to tell my dad before he left, I probably would - just with the caveat that all pregnancies are risky (you don't have to tell him your specifics), you're hoping for the best, and for him to please keep it to himself until you get into the safer, more share-able zone to tell others.  Once/if you tell Dad, if you feel like you need to tell other family, I think the same approach applies.  My SIL has had a couple of miscarriages, but has always shared both the joy of early pregnancy news, and the sadness of her miscarriages with us.  We were always happy to be supportive of her no matter which state her pregnancy was in.

The only reason I haven't told my family yet is because there's a chance we'll be travelling to see all of them in October, and I'd rather tell them in person.  If we find that trip isn't going to happen, we'll probably tell our family sooner rather than later.

Good luck with your decision and your pregnancy!  Here's to a sticky baby!  

Melkat4

Thank you so much for your reply. It s such a relief to feel like I have a place to turn. I'm thinking I'm going to tell my parents together on Skype just before my dad leaves next week. I managed to get in to an intro to OB class just before he heads out so hopefully I'll get some good information. Plus my hubs and I are most looking forward to my moms reaction, she has been wanting this for us so badly for a long time and even though we know she'll be ecstatic we know she can keep a secret too.