Sad hello...may I join you?

mrstengallonhat1

Good Morning Ladies,

After a much too short stint on the April 2014 BMB, it looks like I am joining you here.  I only found out I was pregnant a week ago today, so I'm incredibly sad and disappointed.  After some spotting, my dr. confirmed that my HCG levels had dropped by 50% since Thursday and that the pregnancy was no longer viable.  At this point, I am just waiting to miscarry and need to have my levels tested again in 48 hours.  I am guessing they just want to make sure the levels are dropping properly to rule out an ectopic and that this is considered a chemical pregnancy.

This was my first pregnancy, and I thought we had hit the jackpot, as this was only our 3rd cycle trying.  I honestly feel a bit foolish for feeling so sad and upset right now, as it barely lasted a week.  For some reason, I had envisioned our first doctors appointment, telling our friends and family, and announcing our pregnancy to the world around Halloween.  Obviously, I should have been more guarded.  I cannot believe how invested I was in this baby in such a short amount of time.  I feel like I should have known better.

I'm sorry to all of you for your losses.  It truly is an awful and unfair thing.

catsinawindow

I'm so sorry for your loss. As my MW told me, when we get the BFP we don't think about that little bundle of cells,we think about a baby in our arms. It makes the loss harder, but it's completely normal. You need to be able to grieve what could have been. Take care of yourself.

carlsonbaby2014

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can relate to the connected feelings you felt with your little one immediately.  Even though we were pregnant for a short time, that connection lasts a life time.  Sending T&P's your way.  ((Hugs))

curlygirl2004

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can relate to your story a lot.  I was also on the April 2014 board for a few short days and got my first positive test one week ago. Tuesday the line was darker, but by Wednesday my symptoms were practically gone.  I tested again on Friday and it was negative.  I started miscarrying that night. At first I was just in shock but I've been crying every day since then.  I just want to say your grief is completely valid.  Take care of yourself as best as you can.  Sending T&P your way.

KaleMonster

Welcome, and I'm sorry for your loss.  Please don't feel silly about your attachment to this first baby- I did the same thing (conceived during cycle 2, thinking about how we would find out the sex around H's birthday, etc.), and I realized that whether or not I had thought about these things would have had no effect on how crushing it was to lose the baby.  Allow yourself to be sad over this loss.

panther422516

I'm so sorry for your loss...I know its tough right now and I want u to know we r here for u to lean on....welcome to a great bunch of ladies and I wish u the best of luck with future trys

JScott&AmandaD

I'm sorry for you loss and hope you have much future successes!
I also felt foolish for getting so excited so early with mine. My husband and I lost our pregnancy at week 7 (July 26th) but it didn't make it past week 5 development. I wasn't expecting the attachment to be so powerful. I allowed myself a few days of grief and I even wrote a letter to the lost baby and I felt so much better giving myself the acknowledgement as well as acknowledging that it was a very special bundle of cells with the potential to become a whole beautiful person.
Don't know if it will help, but wanted to share what helped me.

Peaceb0ne

I'm sorry for your loss. I, too, was very attached to my pregnancy even though it was early. Don't feel foolish.

mrstengallonhat1

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words. After taking a few days to relax and heal away from the Bump, I am feeling a lot better. My HCG levels dropped below 5 on Wednesday and AF arrived the same day, so it looks like the worst part is over. I'm so sorry to all of you for your losses! This is a heartbreaking experience.

MommaAshley12

So sorry for your loss. I lost my baby at 6 weeks along and have grieved hard for that baby. And continue to do so. I had envisioned myself with a huge belly at Christmas, I was due in Dec. It still makes my heart hurt when I think about that baby. You are not foolish for being upset. Those two pink lines made you a mom and you have every right to feel sad. Take care of yourself and know that we are here if you need to vent!

mkgotschall

Sorry for your loss. I found out this afternoon at my first ultrasound that my pregnancy was no longer viable. I, too, am currently waiting to miscarry. You are not foolish at all for being upset about your situation. It was only natural to be excited and begin planning for the future. I'm in the same boat you are, but I trust that something good will eventually come from our struggles.

britab

I'm so sorry too! I was due the end of March and miscarried about a week after I found out I was pregnant. I too imagined revealing it around Halloween, maybe having a shower when I went home for Christmas, all that stuff. A few days can really change your life forever! 

Maggie-Moo

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I agree that it is hard to deal with as we feel so bad, but I feel guilty about it when I hear of women with even more difficult losses. But, take what you need and i hope you heal physically and emotionally.