From the mouth's of toddlers

keags5496

Last night I was in E's room and we were getting ready for bed.  He picked up his toy screwdriver and came up to me like he was going to use it on me.  He proudly exclaimed, "Mama, I'm going to screw you!"  I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that that was awful to say so I just told him that we don't use tools on other people.  My lovely, sweet boy then says, "Oh, well you can screw yourself then." It took everything I had not to lose it laughing!]

 

What have your kiddos said recently??

SugarSnap83

keags5496 said:

Last night I was in E's room and we were getting ready for bed.  He picked up his toy screwdriver and came up to me like he was going to use it on me.  He proudly exclaimed, "Mama, I'm going to screw you!"  I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that that was awful to say so I just told him that we don't use tools on other people.  My lovely, sweet boy then says, "Oh, well you can screw yourself then." It took everything I had not to lose it laughing!]

 

What have your kiddos said recently??

I can't think of anything right now, but that is HILARIOUS!

Serendipity117

Bwahahaha! That's fantastic.

I'm drawing a blank right now too but I know O has said some eyebrow raisers.

pitterpatter129

Oh, this was a great way to start my morning! So funny! 

ChicagoBroad26

Awesome!

EVM1216

Too funny. The only one I can think of at the moment is that DD believes the proper title of the uniform I wear to work is " stupid apron". "Don't forget you stupid apron mommy!" "Mommy, you're wearing your stupid apron!"

bosha711

LMAO

Nothing "dirty", but DS had us laughing yesterday when I told him he was sweet for saying he loved his sister. He replies with, "Oh, yes, I am SOOO sweet...sometimes!"

We were dying b/c it was the perfect amount of pause before he said "sometimes". And well, he was totally accurate in his self-description.

TMNTgirl

haha - love it!

DS2 is teething like mad and kinda bit DS1's arm while they were playing. He yelled, "No-no Benny. Don't bite Jonny's arm. It's not yummy! Only dinner is yummy!". Cracked me up!

lswivel

How funny!! Carter likes to tell me "don't touch the cat poop with your fingers!" when I clean up anything involving the cats. It cracks me up every time!

missmuffin87

Hahaha that's the best thing ever!

lulu8109

LOL!

DS has taken to saying "What the heck?!"  I guess I say it too much, but it's a lot better than the curse word version!  He thinks it's funny.

jnicolen1

lulu8109 said:

LOL!

DS has taken to saying "What the heck?!"  I guess I say it too much, but it's a lot better than the curse word version!  He thinks it's funny.

OMG well, you are better than us, because O has heard us say the curse word version under our breaths twice.  we tried to cover it up, changing the word but he got it anyways.  just two days ago he said "mommy, when I'm angry, i say F*CK".  DH said, 

i think you got that wrong, its "heck".  O said, "no daddy, its F*CK".  

parental fail. 

i am now trying to use the word "bummer" a lot, in hopes he will forget about the other.

mommyfied

Nothing thaaaaat funny, but he knows how to fistbump, and says it :P

mrskelly731

DD has learned Oh Shit.  We always reply with Oh Shoot to hopefully change what she says.  She also likes to say 'Oh wow' - the way she says it cracks me up.  Very sarcastic and the way DH and I talk.  Love it.

babycakes

LOL

Griffin says "c0ck" for sock.  One time my mom was over and Griff said "I have a big c0ck" and my mom was like whaaaaaaaaat?  Lol

Coltsdad

J has recently begun to fist bump too. 

We went to the zoo the other day and they had a komodo dragon show.  Well, my MIL let him pick out his own stuffed animal at the gift shop and he chose the komodo dragon.  It is now his go-to toy, it goes to bed with him, when he goes downstairs - it goes downstairs, and vice versa.  Well, this morning he was laying in bed and we hear over the monitor "Modo dragon no eat dirt.  Modo dragon no eat plants.  Modo dragon eats meat!"

He has also learned who I work for.  I work for a major soft drink company, and he said to my wife Saturday, "Daddy at work.  Daddy work for Coke la-la"

tiffanyp

TMNTgirl said:

haha - love it!

DS2 is teething like mad and kinda bit DS1's arm while they were playing. He yelled, "No-no Benny. Don't bite Jonny's arm. It's not yummy! Only dinner is yummy!". Cracked me up!

Cute! Charlotte likes to grab onto things for stability, so the other day she grabbed onto Avery's shirt and Avery was like "no Charlotte, don't pull my shirt." lol

JoJoMama730

G cracks me up constantly. Her best one recently - we were in the car and she tooted, then said she burped. I said are you sure you didn't toot? She said "no mama, I burped . . . out my butt." I was dying!

lrn327

Kinda along the lines of what babycakes mentioned, but C really meant it that way!  DH was helping DS in the bathroom while I was cooking dinner.  From the kitchen I hear silence, and then loudly "I have a BIG pen!s!", followed by deafening silence from my DH.  Of course, we both just cracked up laughing about so I mentioned it to his teacher the next day.  Apparently C and another boy who both happen to be big poopers (sorry tmi) and hence spend a lot of time together in the bathroom on the two potties have lots of potty talk about this!!  The other little boy taught C that and now they both think it's hilarious.  The teacher said thankfully it's not spread to anyone else yet in the class, haha!

Cheekers2010

These are awesome! I can't come up with anything right now besides the fact that G insists recently on being called Little Fishy (and I'm Mama Fishy and DH is Daddy Fishy).

bumpuser260585

This happened Saturday:
Me: "J, what do you want for breakfast?"
J: "Bananas"
Me: "We don't have any bananas, what about blueberries?"
J: "Kroger has bananas, you can go buy some."

LMAO, he's already sending me on errands.

jarebearsmom

J decided he was ready to be PT this weekend but he has to have complete privacy. He told his connect teacher at church he needed to potty so she stepped next door and got me. When I put him on the toilet, in a stall, he told me to go away and shut the door!

I had to hold the door shut with with my hand at the top. He said "your fingers leave, too mama!"

theuntaggablek

These are awesome from start to finish! I can't come up with any good ones, but I'm sure he'll say something goofy (or I'll think of something) at any moment. He does crack me up.

Serendipity117

I just remembered that O has said "damn it" a few times. It's been my go to so I really need to find an alternative. Worst part is he say it in context. "Crayon broke, damn it".

Also, anytime he sees my bras he asks me if I need to "put boobs on". Cracks me up every time.

--halo--

LOL These are all so funny!

Jack is constantly cracking DH and I up. He usually gets an erection when he's pooping (lovely I know), and he loves to point it out. Except he smushes the word penis and boner and says "Mommy, I got BONUS!"