Today was hard

Jenrileysmom

I am not really sure where to post this. The girls on the TTCAL board are kinda harsh so I just want to get it out somewhere and I've been here for awhile.

I got my period today. It's been over 3 months since my loss. We just started trying again at the end of last month. I have been having regular cycles and was supposed to get my AF on Thursday. Anyway, since it was late I started hoping and it got worse each day. So today when AF came, midday not normal. I was devastated all over again. 

I know it's stupid to be so wishful and hopeful this soon. I'm just so sad now. 

Jenrileysmom

I know this is not in the right area. I just don't feel comfortable posting it there.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone. 

avioletsky

I know this is heartbreaking. I wish we all had a crystal ball that could tell us when, if, how everything would turn out. 

I wouldn't say it's stupid. It's good to be hopeful. I always suggest waiting at least a week after a missed period to test. Knowing that there is nothing you can really do to prevent an early miscarriage, why do we need to know we're 4 weeks pregnant? 

As for the TTCAL board, remember, they are all post loss as well. Be kind to yourself, but in the same breath - remember the pain that all of them have dealt with. A post like this is reminiscent of the "could I be pregnant?" posts splattered all over TTC.

3 months after a loss is still soon enough to feel the sadness of the baby you wished were still inside, growing into a healthy take-home-baby. 

I wish it were easier. 

SarainColorado2013

What a roller coaster this is. Hang in there.

panther422516

Hi ! I recently within last month joined ttcal board I see the pain they can cause others.....and I don't get some of the posts on there..mc board was much easier to navagate.......anyway I understand were your coming from...I posted a couple question on the pgal board so as not to offend anyone on either board.....maybe repost it there. They r super supportive and helpful and u might get better feedback than on mc board ......I'm also in samme boat as u fri my period due and I hope it don't come. I'm also 3months post loss....don't give up hope its all we have to keeps us going for the next months try!!! Keep on smiling I know your in pain. But let the joy of trying take over more than the pain and saddness!! Again no matter which board uvpost we r always here for u

Jenrileysmom

Hi, I know I'm ridiculous. I'm scared of those girls on the other board. They take no crap. I can't be yelled at. I'll crumble. 

Today was better. AF at her best and me just dealing. 

I will move on from this. I will. 

Jenrileysmom

Thank you ladies. Meladoriestar, I feel the exact same way as you. Good luck at your appointment. We aren't to that point yet. 

I just feel like such a basketcase lately. This is almost worse than right after my loss. I just want to be pregnant and now. It's like I can't focus on anything else and AF really pissed me off. haha. 

(((hugs))) for all. 

avioletsky

Yeesh, I know nothing of that board. I think I'll hang around the gentle folks here for awhile.

ateal2490

Don't you worry about upsetting anyone by posting this here! I'm really sorry that you don't feel comfortable posting on the TTCAL board, but you are more than welcome to post anything you need to here. I haven't posted much here, but when I have, these ladies have been amazingly supportive and empathetic, and I'm sure that's what you need right now. I can totally understand how getting AF could bring some serious disappointment; that's totally rational and I'm sorry you're feeling down. Sprinkling a bazillion pounds of baby dust in your direction.

((hugs))

one2andnow3

I understand completely what you are going through. I posted on TCCAL and got a couple snarky remarks. It made me sad because I was needing support so badly. I am not comfortable posting on that board yet and I don't think I have healed enough emotionally to think about it. I am sorry about AF I know I would be disappointed to see it too.

MommaAshley12

CD 1 is the worst. To me it just means one more month tacked on to the journey and one more month away from meeting my baby. It's aggravating! I hope you get your BFP next cycle!