Pregnant after a Loss

Pregnant 7 months after son passed away

11 months ago today I gave birth at 29wks due to placenta abruption & 32mins later my son gained his wings after too much loss of oxygen- his birth story is very upsetting still as though it was the hospitals fault he isn't here. Not trying to get pregnant- god blessed us & I'm currently 16.5wks pregnant. As the months go on- I begin getting terrified what if it happens again??? I had 2 c sections & a classic so I'm already in a ton of pain & will deliver early but I am at a higher risk of uterine rupture & abruption again. I keep my faith in god but still I can't help but worry... & then I feel guilty that I'm happy again. My sons 1st day is in a month & feel super sad sometimes & worry if I'm forgetting him I'm not my other boys husband n I talk about him daily but the piece of emptiness in me had gotten a little smaller since we made it to 12 weeks.... Any other moms can relate

Re: Pregnant 7 months after son passed away

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Just remember - this pregnancy is not that pregnancy, it's a new one. Try to stay hopeful! I hope your pregnancy is totally uneventful this time.
    **Warning: Losses and living child mentioned**
    BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
    BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
    BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  But, congrats on your pregnancy :-)    

    I know it's hard, but try to remember that you can be happy now, without forgetting your son that you lost.  You will NEVER forget him, and he will always be with you.  But, as with most things in life, you will have happy memories and sad memories and they will all make up the story of your life.   

    Do you have anything planned for your son's first birthday?  Even something small and simple to memorialize him might help you feel that you're not "forgetting" him.  Do you have a gravestone you can visit?  Maybe you can plant a tree?   Do you have, or have you thought of, some kind of memorial jewelry or tattoo?   These things will all help you to remember your son -- again, not that you'll ever forget him, but they are tangible ways to remember.
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  • I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope you're able to find some joy in this pregnancy.  Just remember, every pregnancy is different and what may have happened last time may not happen this time.  *hugs*
    _______________________________________________________________________________________

    Jacob & Audra - married since 05.28.11
    Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
    Ozzy Joseph - born 11.01.13 @ 31 weeks, weighed 3lbs 7oz and 16" long.
    TTC #3
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Celebrate your son, you won't forget about him. Just take the time you need to embrace this new pregnancy.
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  • PerkyErkyPerkyErky member
    edited July 2013
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am pregnant after losing our daughter at almost 21 weeks. I am 8 weeks, but every Saturday when I move to the next week I think...I should be 38 weeks etc. Last pregnancy my weeks also changed on Saturdays.  It is really hard. My EDD is in two weeks and I can just feel my anxiety increasing. 

    I am thankful for this baby, but it is hard knowing I wouldn't be pregnant with this baby now if my daughter was still here.  I have also felt that this pregnancy has helped heal part of the gaping hole left by my daughter's death. 

    It is ok to be hopeful and excited about this new pregnancy and it in no way means you have forgotten your son. Lots of hugs and strength coming your way.
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

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  • I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I don't really have any advice, but wanted to offer hugs and to say welcome and congrats on this pregnancy.
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    BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15

    BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014

    BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)

    BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011

    BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
     
    "Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."

  • I feel the same way.  My son was born 8/22/12 and passed on 10/5/12 from a stage 4 cancer he was born with.  I am currently due on 10/20/13.  We are trying to be optimistic this pregnancy but the fear and worry is always there.  I should be planning a first birthday party, but instead am just praying I get through the day without a major meltdown.  I just try to stay positive for our new little one that will hopefully join the world healthy.  Thats all you can do after experiencing such a tragic loss of a child. Good luck to you for the rest of your pregnancy.

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