WWYD? re: strangers kids

JessieCupcake

Yesterday at the playground, DS fell and as he was starting to get back up, an older boy kicked DS in the back and made him fall back down. DS started crying and my H scooped him up.

My H also said "no, no, that's not nice" to the boy who kicked DS. The boy's mother ran over and applogized.

As soon as I heard H say something to the boy, I felt anxious because I hate confrontation and I thought the mother would be angry in a "don't you talk to MY kid" sort of way.

I ask WWYD because H and I discussed the situation later and I am so afraid of confrontation that I don't know if I would have said something to the boy.

So WWYD?

khill86

I think for me it depends on the age of the kid and if their behaviour was age appropriate or not.

If DS tried to hug another toddler and knocked them over, I'd say sorry but wouldn't expect another parent to say anything because it's normal for the age, you know?

If some older kid came and purposely hurt DS, I'd for sure say something. Not like go crazy, but definitely similar to what your H said. If the gave me a look or whatever I wouldn't care. If she said something about minding my own business, I wouldn't start anything, but I'd probably say I just didn't want DS to get hurt. I'm not into playground mommy brawls, but I also don't want kids to think they can mess with DS if they were.

thatoneredhead

I agree with Khill. If it was an accident or not intentional, then whatever- thats fine.

I had a group of large teenage boys stampede onto the playground playing tag. When they started to go around us, I was worried they wouldnt see Jack on floor in front of my husband. I yelled "HEY!" really aggressively. I didnt care at all. If they would have hurt my kid, they would have been in for alot worse.

In your instance, I would have said, "Please be nice to my baby; he's much smaller than you." It's not saying anything corrective, and you are simply informing him that he is not allow to do that to this kid.

drbethc

I think I may have done what your H did... I'm ok with confrontation.

JessieCupcake

Oh I agree completely if it was an accident or if the child is too little to know better, then it's nbd.

I think what made this situation tricky was that the mother wasn't nearby. She was sitting on a bench on the other side of the playground. She ran over when my DS started crying.

If she had been nearby, I assume she'd have corrected her child right away. Then I guess there's no need to say anything.

I don't think H was wrong but it still makes me uncomfortable. I guess that's my own hang up though.

I'm sure they'll be more situations like this in the future since DS is a social butterfly who loves playing with other kids. Thanks for the advice ladies.

unaveragejane

I used to be a teacher, so I would totally have said something to the other kid, probably out of habit.  When a child does something inappropriate in front of adults and is not corrected, they can begin to think it is not a big deal or is okay behavior. Also, I think it sends an important message to your own child when you act as her protector in that kind of situation.

acbfreire

drbethc said:

I think I may have done what your H did... I'm ok with confrontation.

So am I. I blocked an older kid at the mall playground. He was about to hit DD. He was too big to even be in the play area. I said "hey, you are too big to be here. Be careful with the babies". Call me helicopter as much as you want!