@Mysterious_wife- the moment you start the process of trying to conceive you are a Mom. If you are not trying to conceive or pregnant or with children, it would be silly to think you would be posting on the bump
but hey, thanks for calling me an asshole
Well, if the rectum fits...
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For the record: Have been on FF before. Took the classes, charted for almost a year. Learned a whole shit ton. Obviously you can't skip two until you've skipped one, I was writing that from the point of view of my OP, where I hadn't gotten it yet. I did pass health class and human physiology, thanks. I have not once disagreed with anything that you've said about how a body works, ever. I did find some research online about tests being false negatives, even when taken correctly, so I asked my doctor. Based on my symptoms, she said to come in and she ran tests to make sure EVERYTHING was ok, not just if I was/was not pregnant. Again, I know that I wasn't pregnant, I know that I didn't suffer a loss. I know that your body can change on a whim, from month to month, and that it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I know that I can O late, or sometimes not at all, and that will affect when I get my period. I know that boobs can leak and nausea can happen without being pregnant. I also know what's normal for me and what's not. I had a question for my doctor so I asked it. Nothing wrong with that.
I may have been told that, but it was hidden under a bunch of blunt, honest meanness about how I have no clue about my body or my life or the rising costs of healthcare. Made it a little hard to see.
Anywho, you ladies have a nice life. I'll probably still come on and read your responses, because if this is post is anything like my other one, you'll all keep going long after I bow out. You have fun telling people how life is and exactly how every body works. I'll retreat back to the boards I like.
I bet it is really frustrating to be having fertility issues month after month and having women just starting the journey come on and post things about negative pregnancy tests and PMS or pregnant issues. I get it... I really do. i feel for all of you. It still does not justify being downright disrespectful and mean though. You were all there once. Right out of the gate - first try, am I pregnant? and I wish you could all remember that for a split second when these women come here for your support.
There's this awesome invention called google you know.
"OMG, my boobs are sore, could I be pregnant?" Is not coming here for support. It's asking questions that are easily answered by searching around to see who else has asked it a million times before. I can certainly understand why those who are going through or have gone through IF might be a little annoyed with having to answer the same question over and over again and might do so bluntly (which isn't being mean).
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
I bet it is really frustrating to be having fertility issues month after month and having women just starting the journey come on and post things about negative pregnancy tests and PMS or pregnant issues. I get it... I really do. i feel for all of you. It still does not justify being downright disrespectful and mean though. You were all there once. Right out of the gate - first try, am I pregnant? and I wish you could all remember that for a split second when these women come here for your support.
There's this awesome invention called google you know.
"OMG, my boobs are sore, could I be pregnant?" Is not coming here for support. It's asking questions that are easily answered by searching around to see who else has asked it a million times before. I can certainly understand why those who are going through or have gone through IF might be a little annoyed with having to answer the same question over and over again and might do so bluntly (which isn't being mean).
they don't HAVE to answer the questions.... It's simple - If you have nothing nice to say do not say anything at all
they don't HAVE to answer the questions.... It's simple - If you have nothing nice to say do not say anything at all
Which leads me to ask the obvious question... Why did you start this thread again?
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
Creepy lurker here but I've been following this thread all day at work. To those who don't like the dynamic of the community... just leave. It's that simple. This community has a culture that some people like and some people don't. You wouldn't go into a Jewish person's home and demand they stop speaking Yiddish because you don't like it and/or don't understand, right? So why come here and suggest everyone change because you got your feelings hurt?
The snark, sarcasm, humor, etc. are just the way it is here. And people who actively participate (or if you're like me, lurk) enjoy it. If you don't, that's perfectly understandable. But don't suddenly come out of the woodwork and start trying to change the whole dynamic here. Just go away.
And JFC, get thicker skin. Who the fuck cares what someone on the internet thinks about you?
I think if I had to pick a favorite part of this thread it'd be a tie between @Adrienne1432 telling us she was going to leave because we are all big meanies only to do a complete 180 and claim we're all now BFFs4Eva and finally being told that all women become mothers the moment they have unprotected sex for the first time.
Well done ladies, well done.
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
It's almost weirdly comforting to know that no matter how much time has elapsed since I last commented, as long as The Bump still exists, someone somewhere on these boards will be starting a "omg you're all bullies and I'm leaving" thread, and there will be levelheaded people trying to explain why such a thread is pointless. Sunrise, sunset...
It?s important to us that all members are treated with respect, no matter what questions they ask. If you feel there is another message board better suited to a member?s needs or stage of TTC/Pregnancy/Parenting, please be kind enough to direct them there.
If you post on a board that does not match your stage of TTC, please offer your advice, but refrain from mocking others. We were all ?newbies? at one point ? you can be of great help to another mom or mom-to-be by offering your advice and experience. For example, if a newly pregnant member is unsure of what to eat, direct them to our 1st Tri FAQs or offer your own tips. See a member who is brand new to TTC? Direct them to our TTC basics.
Being snarky can be funny, but there is a difference between snarky and mean. If you see responses that are harassing in nature or contain profanity, please hit the report button. Some of you have expressed confusion when it comes to what?s allowed and what?s not ? you can read our Terms of Use if you are unsure. We know you are adults, and often times we think it?s fine to use adult language when sharing a story. However, when profanity is directed at another member, it will not be tolerated, and you will be warned via email or will lose posting rights at our discretion.
Thanks,
TheBump.com
Also a lurker, and I lurk on this board and others for information, and the "I'm constipated I must be KU" are super annoying even for those of us who aren't regulars. It would be great to not have to sort through so many ridiculous posts to find the ones that are actually useful/helpful. I cannot imagine a scenario where I did not know the basics of how my body/cycle worked and the first place I went for info was a message board. Get educated on the basics somewhere else and then come here when you actually need adult level info and support.
It?s important to us that all members are treated with respect, no matter what questions they ask. If you feel there is another message board better suited to a member?s needs or stage of TTC/Pregnancy/Parenting, please be kind enough to direct them there.
If you post on a board that does not match your stage of TTC, please offer your advice, but refrain from mocking others. We were all ?newbies? at one point ? you can be of great help to another mom or mom-to-be by offering your advice and experience. For example, if a newly pregnant member is unsure of what to eat, direct them to our 1st Tri FAQs or offer your own tips. See a member who is brand new to TTC? Direct them to our TTC basics.
Being snarky can be funny, but there is a difference between snarky and mean. If you see responses that are harassing in nature or contain profanity, please hit the report button. Some of you have expressed confusion when it comes to what?s allowed and what?s not ? you can read our Terms of Use if you are unsure. We know you are adults, and often times we think it?s fine to use adult language when sharing a story. However, when profanity is directed at another member, it will not be tolerated, and you will be warned via email or will lose posting rights at our discretion.
Thanks,
TheBump.com
Right, but the post you flagged for abuse didn't have any of that. So some employee of the bump has to go read everything you're flagging when there's no actual violation. I mean, fine, keep doing it if it makes you feel better, but it's not going to hurt anyone. You're just wasting someone's time.
Which is ironic because that's what STARTED this latest round, no? Bottom line: special snowflakes have the right to waste people's time, but complaining and calling them out about it is bullying.
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Hi! Just FYI I'm not pregnant and still waiting to begin TTC. I don't find being on here is silly. The people here are awesome because they're honest. And I've been lurking around for long enough to see how often these boards get bombarded with "I have x, y, and z and am 30 seconds late for my clock work period. Am I pregnant?" which would be totally annoying for any one. Just saying.
I find it ridiculous that someone would assume coming in to a community of women, asking a question that a doctor or an HPT could have answered, and stomping their princess feet when they don't hear the answer they want?
I am by no means a reg on this board, but I do enjoy the information, and joining in every now and again.
Here's the main thing though. Just like in the real world, you can't expect meeting a bunch of strangers, listing off your symptoms and expect a real answer. Seriously, have you tried it? Everyone would look at you like your psycho. This is a place with a bunch of blunt women, who keep each other in check. Not to belittle, but to educate and make sure anyone else who sees the posts aren't misled either. Of course, there are the little jokes made, or pokes towards another. But I know FOR SURE I do this same thing IRL with my friends.
This is a place where to get respect, you have to GIVE it. **lightbulb**
You have to offer your insights, get to know the community and become active to be a member. Sure, you can create a username, but it doesn't give you automatic rights in this group, or any other board. Just like the real world.
@Mysterious_wife- the moment you start the process of trying to conceive you are a Mom. If you are not trying to conceive or pregnant or with children, it would be silly to think you would be posting on the bump
but hey, thanks for calling me an asshole
Lol, you DO realize there are men who post on this site, right @Adrienne1432?
@Mysterious_wife- the moment you start the process of trying to conceive you are a Mom. If you are not trying to conceive or pregnant or with children, it would be silly to think you would be posting on the bump
@Mysterious_wife- the moment you start the process of trying to conceive you are a Mom. If you are not trying to conceive or pregnant or with children, it would be silly to think you would be posting on the bump
but hey, thanks for calling me an asshole
False.
Agreed. Signed, person who spent 5 years hiding from mother's day because no amount of TTC made me a mother.
Also, there is a Childfree Not by Choice board as well as several infertility boards and an adoption board and a One and Done board - all on TB. I'd venture a guess that roughly half the regular posters across all boards aren't currently TTC and/or do not have children.
Six years of infertility and loss, four IUIs, one IVF and one very awesome little boy born via med-free birth 10.24.13.
I agree! I have had posts and then delete them because people are mean and heartless. I've been a member since 2008 and had to even delete my last member name because I had a woman right such nasty things all the time. I rarely post and when I do I sometimes fear the response. Good luck!
Might I say, this is a great way to pass a Monday morning. Our system is down at work, so I got to kill some time hearing about how mean all of us "regs" are...AGAIN.
OP, did you honestly think all of these women would sit back because of your "eloquently" written post and think "hmmm, I really have been a total bitch. This poster has made me seen the light! She has fixed the internet!"? Delusions of grandeur, party of ONE!
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I started this post and it was 100% wrong of me to start un necessary drama because I thought the women on here were being mean. I was also wrong and extremely ignorant to call people on here moms when in fact many are not and so despratley want to be. My words were not meant to be maliciass I was just terribly ignorant. I do think people can be pretty abrasive in their posts at times but you have to see the other side of the situation which I failed to do. This is a board where people share and express experience and knowledge which I am sure has brought many people comfort and wisdom. When the same posts come up all the time about women who think they might be pregnant even though they test negative or women saying they would rather see a doctor for a $20 copayment instead of buying a $30 pregnancy test you have to shake your head. I wish people would ignore the posts rather than bash the person (or handle it with a little more respect for humans) I do really understand their frustration. I haven't walked in these women shoes but the strength it takes is strength no woman should have to be challenged by. I believe all people deserve some respect but equally wish that people valued this space enough to read before they post.... Chances are someone has already asked your question. This is advice I wish someone had given me. I was wrong and disrespectful and I'm sorry to all I offended. I thought about deleting this post but need to stand by my bad decision and hope someone learns from it.
I have heard that. I was actually quoting someone from another post about the price and how she would rather just pay her copay but that really was not the point of my post. I was just using that as an example as to why people get so frustrated. I guess I am not so good at getting my point across on these boards
I think being a message board makes some comments come off as rude maybe? It's like misinterpreting a text or email. We're all women and sometimes everyone may get a little snippity but that's normal. I've not been here for long but I've been a member of the knot and the nest and both those communities are similar to this one. Nice people who have nice things to say and sometimes people who u caught on a bad day. Life goes on, it's just a message board, the OP has a right to feel the way they do and others have a right to respond but I do feel like the OP seemed to be picking a fight...sorry but that's the way I feel if you think someone is being mean call them out on it. Tell them that what they did/said hurt your feelings, 9 times out of 10 I bet they did not mean for their words to come across rude or hurtful. We're all here because we want/have/had kids so that's a huge commonality so imbrace the good and smile we're all here for each other
I think being a message board makes some comments come off as rude maybe? It's like misinterpreting a text or email. We're all women and sometimes everyone may get a little snippity but that's normal. I've not been here for long but I've been a member of the knot and the nest and both those communities are similar to this one. Nice people who have nice things to say and sometimes people who u caught on a bad day. Life goes on, it's just a message board, the OP has a right to feel the way they do and others have a right to respond but I do feel like the OP seemed to be picking a fight...sorry but that's the way I feel if you think someone is being mean call them out on it. Tell them that what they did/said hurt your feelings, 9 times out of 10 I bet they did not mean for their words to come across rude or hurtful. We're all here because we want/have/had kids so that's a huge commonality so imbrace the good and smile we're all here for each other
"Oh and the post die, until a newb responds. Thank them, not the regs."
Brilliant. I got this app cause I read on another forum that this place was full of bitchy mommies. Hmm, I thought, sounds like my kinda place! It's refreshing not to have baby dust/bump dust/sex vibes or whatever on the end of each post. I'm off to join the jan bump club! Reality dust to all!
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
sorry for resurrecting this thread, but there will always be people who claim they are just "speaking their mind" which to me is bullshit. if you can't get your point across without being rude or condescending, you have a problem. in real life, i can be just as bitchy and roll the best of them. on the internet, i usually just let it go. i'd rather have a confrontation in person. thats just the ratchet part of me that will never change, no matter how many professional degrees i get lol! that being said, don't expect women on here to be so sensitive to your feelings. i know how i get so i try to stay to myself. i've already been on here more than i need to be.
Re: Women on the bump can be mean?
I do believe I already apologized for that, quite sincerely, over there on that post.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
For the record: Have been on FF before. Took the classes, charted for almost a year. Learned a whole shit ton. Obviously you can't skip two until you've skipped one, I was writing that from the point of view of my OP, where I hadn't gotten it yet. I did pass health class and human physiology, thanks. I have not once disagreed with anything that you've said about how a body works, ever. I did find some research online about tests being false negatives, even when taken correctly, so I asked my doctor. Based on my symptoms, she said to come in and she ran tests to make sure EVERYTHING was ok, not just if I was/was not pregnant. Again, I know that I wasn't pregnant, I know that I didn't suffer a loss. I know that your body can change on a whim, from month to month, and that it doesn't necessarily mean anything. I know that I can O late, or sometimes not at all, and that will affect when I get my period. I know that boobs can leak and nausea can happen without being pregnant. I also know what's normal for me and what's not. I had a question for my doctor so I asked it. Nothing wrong with that.
I may have been told that, but it was hidden under a bunch of blunt, honest meanness about how I have no clue about my body or my life or the rising costs of healthcare. Made it a little hard to see.
Anywho, you ladies have a nice life. I'll probably still come on and read your responses, because if this is post is anything like my other one, you'll all keep going long after I bow out. You have fun telling people how life is and exactly how every body works. I'll retreat back to the boards I like.
Ciao.
Married DH 7/30/11
CSC arrived 5/7/12
CHC arrived 6/2/14
There's this awesome invention called google you know.
"OMG, my boobs are sore, could I be pregnant?" Is not coming here for support. It's asking questions that are easily answered by searching around to see who else has asked it a million times before. I can certainly understand why those who are going through or have gone through IF might be a little annoyed with having to answer the same question over and over again and might do so bluntly (which isn't being mean).
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
My life, my love, my boys
DS: Liam born 8.30.10 at 35 wks (PPROM, Pre-E, C-Section)
DD: BFP 6.9.13, EDD 2.12.14, A/S 9.20.13... It's a Girl!
Adeline Leigh born sleeping 2.11.14 at 39 wks 6 days
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon our hearts. - Dorothy Ferguson
Creepy lurker here but I've been following this thread all day at work. To those who don't like the dynamic of the community... just leave. It's that simple. This community has a culture that some people like and some people don't. You wouldn't go into a Jewish person's home and demand they stop speaking Yiddish because you don't like it and/or don't understand, right? So why come here and suggest everyone change because you got your feelings hurt?
The snark, sarcasm, humor, etc. are just the way it is here. And people who actively participate (or if you're like me, lurk) enjoy it. If you don't, that's perfectly understandable. But don't suddenly come out of the woodwork and start trying to change the whole dynamic here. Just go away.
And JFC, get thicker skin. Who the fuck cares what someone on the internet thinks about you?
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Aren't you cute.
BFP 6/15/14 EDD: 2/24/15
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
TTGP Jan Siggy Challenge: Workout Fails
So THAT's how you get into baby-making position!
I am by no means a reg on this board, but I do enjoy the information, and joining in every now and again.
Here's the main thing though. Just like in the real world, you can't expect meeting a bunch of strangers, listing off your symptoms and expect a real answer. Seriously, have you tried it? Everyone would look at you like your psycho.
This is a place with a bunch of blunt women, who keep each other in check. Not to belittle, but to educate and make sure anyone else who sees the posts aren't misled either. Of course, there are the little jokes made, or pokes towards another. But I know FOR SURE I do this same thing IRL with my friends.
This is a place where to get respect, you have to GIVE it. **lightbulb**
You have to offer your insights, get to know the community and become active to be a member. Sure, you can create a username, but it doesn't give you automatic rights in this group, or any other board. Just like the real world.
FFS, I just can't.
Signed, person who spent 5 years hiding from mother's day because no amount of TTC made me a mother.
Also, there is a Childfree Not by Choice board as well as several infertility boards and an adoption board and a One and Done board - all on TB. I'd venture a guess that roughly half the regular posters across all boards aren't currently TTC and/or do not have children.
Might I say, this is a great way to pass a Monday morning. Our system is down at work, so I got to kill some time hearing about how mean all of us "regs" are...AGAIN.
OP, did you honestly think all of these women would sit back because of your "eloquently" written post and think "hmmm, I really have been a total bitch. This poster has made me seen the light! She has fixed the internet!"? Delusions of grandeur, party of ONE!
Let the thread die.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.