NBR- My grandma is driving me a little crazy

changingnames

 

I doubt anyone will get thru this all but here it is- it feels better to jsut type it out.

  My grandmother speaks ill of all her four husbands, and some of the weren't so bad. I recognize that things did not go well for her w/ my grandfather and he left her for the neighbor in a time when divorce was a HUGE deal (60 years ago). However he was ever a kind and loving grandfather to me and ever spoke an ill word about her. He has been dead 5 years now and she still speaks ill of him every chance she gets. it really bothers me but since she is 90- do I just have to grin and bear it? I'm not sure it is fair to tell her to knock it off since she is so old. WDYT?

  It particularly bothers me in my house (since I live in what was his house for 50+ years) it just doesn't seem right to speak ill of him in the home he provided for us (or to let anyone else). My parents built their dream home on the property he bought when this small beach town was nothing- now Del Mar is really nice now and none of us could afford to buy an acre plus with two gorgeous home on it if he hadn't bought this land 60 yrs ago.

  Ontop of that I love him and I am sick of listening to her rewrite history- she was not blameless in the divorce, as evidenced by the her next three marriages. Example- on Christmas she started off with talking about how he didn't care about her girls and I am so lucky to have a husband who cares to even hold my child. Then she continues with how while she was working her butt of raising them as babies (living with his parents) he was in Florida having a good old time. Oh you mean when he was in Pensacola serving in the Navy? Grandma- is that the good old time that kept him away from the girls? Ya what an arshole for being drafted.

  She then continues that what he did (in the war) didn't count. Umm ok so I guess he should have asked to be stationed in the South Pacific so it would count? She is in rewriting history mood in general and generally I just take it w/ a grain of salt but this particular subject really annoys me.

  She told my MIL that we took her car away and won't let her have her stuff. Umm she had a stroke and can't see and the doctor reported her to the DMV- we sold it for her and gave her the money. Ater the storke she had to move closer since no one could care for her 3 hours away- she ahs been taken to her condo multiple ties to get anythig she wants.  My parents gave her the choice of living with them (in a MIL suite on their ground floor) or living in an assisted living place 7 minutes from us where she has a private 1000 sqf apt with a view of the water and the racetrack. She chose assisted living and she loves it, she ets tons of attention (her favorite thign) and can flirt with the guys-her other favorite thing. My mom goes there several times a week and does all her laundry (even though they will provide fresh linens they are not soft enough for her so my mom does them), shopping, organizes everything for her and pays her bills for her (with the proceeds of her multiple fruitful divorces). Still she sits there and tells my MIL that we took her stuff and now she is in some teeny place where she can't have anything and has no car and can't get around. It's BS. I could go on for pages so I'll make myself stop here. I can undertand the  missing her stuff and her car and I can actually swallow that easier than talking about my grandpa- he's not here to defend himself and this is his house-- and you are lying!!!!

  Dh told me to make a list of the annoying topics and things I thought she would say over Christmas and then when she hits all of them yell out BINGO- just to make a game out of it so I could be happy instead of sad when she says all of her BS. I hit BONGO way before dessert.