Possibly flameful vent

Here'sMyOpinion

Yes, this is an AE screenname, but for a good reason...

I have a little vent that part of me feels bad for thinking, but I wanted to get it of my chest. I participated in the Nestie Clause. I was so excited to be able to help out a family on here and I thought it was a great idea....thanks Kevs & Eclairs for setting it up! I really put a lot of thought into my gifts & sent plenty of new clothes & toys plus a gift for mom since she probably gets overlooked a lot. It just made me smile thinking about the mom's face when she opened her package. Here is what bothers me a little. Many of the nesties who were on the receiving end came on & posted to their secret santas how much they appreciated the kindness & gifts...how touched they were..etc. It made me so happy to see the results of someone's kindness. When I give to the Angel Tress in town, you never know who gets it, so it is nice to hear about how you can actually touch someone's lives even in a small way. For the most part I know I should not expect a thank you, but a little part of me was sad that I did not get a simple thanks like a lot of others on here. I kinda wish I knew that I made that mom's day or took some stress off her at Christmas. I realize that it was kept?anonymous?for those that were embarrassed to ask for help, so by posting the mom would be outing herself. I did however right out a nice card & left an email in case she ever wanted someone to talk to. In my head this sounds so stupid & selfish on my part, but I can't help but feel a little upset that I put in a lot of thought, effort, & a good deal of $$ to make sure this family had a nice holiday and not a simple thank you was given in return. I feel like this is an irrational vent, but I can't help feeling a little sad.?

I decided to post this under an AE just in case the mom I gave to sees this. I didn't want it under my real name, because although my feelings were a little hurt, I in no way want the mom I spoke of to feel bad & know it is her I am talking about. I am sure she has plenty of other worries, so I don't want to add to the burden. I just wanted to get this off my chest.

If you made it this far, thanks ?

zacook

i am sorry your feelings are hurt... I would feel a little bummed too... but just remember that you didnt do it to get "praised" for doing a wonderful thing... You know that it was greatly needed and you did a great thing!!! and for that I give you a HUGE thanks and a hug!!!

Kapalua

I hear ya...you just want to know that the package arrived and that they liked everything.  But, you have to respect the mom's who want to remain anonymous.  It's hard enough asking for help, I'm sure. 

KoriBrett

It's also possible you may have missed a post - things do tend to get buried on here. 

Isabella T.

It's human nature to want to feel appreciated for the things we do, so don't feel bad.

If she happens to see this post, I hope she contacts you and lets you know that she appreciated all your efforts. If you never do hear from her, please don't feel discouraged. Consider it a forward payment.

In any event, there is a special little star for you in heaven. Thank you for helping others and being so self-less. I am proud of you and your generosity ((hugs)).

Zenya

Somebody did post a thank you that included that there was a gift for the mom, too.  Maybe you just missed it?  It was a really detailed thank you that was very heartfelt

Jodi&Joe

zenya -- I saw that thank you post as well.  I think the mom got earrings??

Anyway -- maybe that was the mom that received your gifts and you just missed her post.

femmegem

I've actually seen a couple thank you posts that included gifts for the mom, I think. It could be you missed it. 

A-baybride

I don't blame you.  She probably does intend to write you a proper thank you note (I know I don't get to them as fast as I should sometimes).  But a quick email to let you know they got the gifts and appreciated them would have been nice, too.

I didn't participate in the nestie claus because I didn't realize it was different from the secret santa gift exchange until pretty late, but a while back I contributed $ for a nestie going through a tough situation and never heard anything.  It wasn't a huge amount, but it bugs me that I don't even know if she received the money/gift.

Brewster

I saw the ones that thanked people for gifts for the mom.  I am thinking you missed it. Post get burried and how many times should one be expected to repost. 

Really, I am not flaming, but you shouldn't expect a thank you card or anything of the likes for this. I didn't know who I was even sending the gift to and didn't want the person on the receiving end to know it was from me.  

A-baybride- Was it me?  I posted a thank you and reposted a couple of times.  Obviusly I didn't have everyone's addresses for thank you cards.  

hmckeown

I also am feeling the same way, I donated to two families.

My husband and I have been going through rough patches financially oursleves but I work at a children's clothing store and thought I could put my discount to good use and help others that are even less fortunate than ourselves.

One mom posted on here that she received the gift and how much it meant to her. I have never heard anyhting from the second mom.

I am not looking for recognition just a simple note to say it was received.

I understand your feelings.

Heather

Here'sMyOpinion

Thanks for the understanding girls. You also hit on another thing in your replies....I just hope the gifts made it there safe. I sent them a while ago & sent it Priority mail so there is no way they would have gotten hung up during the xmas rush.?

To the ones who suggested I didn't see her post, I checked. I am not on very much, but when I have time in the morning or at night I go through the entire days posts just to read & catch up. It's been slow here lately so that helps. I saw the ones who posted...not my gift although the earrings were such a cute idea!

Anyway, I'll drop it. I just wanted to get it off my chest. Whoever received my gifts, I hope you loved them & I hope your family had a wonderful Christmas!! Hang in there Things will get better.

?

Jodi&Joe

I've given this some thought and here's my take ---

I am one that likes to be recognized for giving.  It is actually one of the best feelings in the world, IMO and I tend to be overly generous b/c I like that feeling so much.  That said, going in to this, I had to remind myself that this was NOT about recognition.  That a "thank you" was probably not going to be received, after all, this was anonymous.

Also, at this point, if they did thank you -- it would not seem heartfelt.  I think this post puts the receiver in an awkward situation.  They might now feel that they have to figure out who sent them the gift, and somehow get a thank you to them.  Which might "out" them.  In addition, I think they would also feel that even if they did thank you at this point (which could have been their intention all along), it won't seem as though they did it because they WANTED to but rather, because you posted this.

I don't know.  I'm sorry that you are upset for the lack of recognition.  Trust me, I know how that feels.  But I also hope you know that you did a WONDERFUL thing and EVERYONE on this site thanks you for that!

championmama

I'm sorry you didn't get a thank you.  Is it possible she hasn't been on much lately, and therefore hasn't had that chance yet?  Or, maybe she did and youweren't on at the time?

I never understood how the Nestie Claus worked.  I wasn't around about the time it all got started.  but, I have seeen the siggys and I have seen a few of the "thank You's" to referred to to the Secret Santas.

So, were the girls who mentioned getting their secret santa gifts, the same girls who were on th receiving end of nestie claus?  (b/c I thought they were two separate things- I thought nestie claus was helping families from somewhere else, not the nest, and I thought secret santa was just a bunch of nesties who switched ornaments or something.)