New here and need a little advice.... (long sorry)
Yesterday I went to drop of my SS and I think that BM was intoxicated. (she has prior possession charges on her record) I put SS in his carseat and her car reeked of perfume like she was trying to hide something and she seemed really out of it. I called my husband to ask him what I should do and we called the police to report it. The police department gave us the run around and transfered us from county to county and never did anything about it. They told us they would have an officer follow her and pull her over if warranted. This was never done.
My question is this, since I am just the Stepmother, do I have the right to refuse to give my SS back to BM if I feel she is intoxicated? Can I just keep him in my car and wait for the police to arrive or do I have to give him back? I really wanted to do just that but was afraid of what could happen since I am not his blood parent.
We are contacting our lawyer today to see what we can do and my husband is trying to change his shift so he is off in time to do the drop offs. I just wanted to know if anyone has had a similar situation and can give me any insight?? We have talked to CPS and they have opened an investigation.
Thanks!!!
Re: New here and need a little advice.... (long sorry)
I'm not sure what the exact "laws" are... but in my opinion - I would say that you should have called the police and left the SS in YOUR car until they arrived and deemed her okay to drive. By you placing your SS in the car (knowing that something was wrong) if they were in an accident and God forbid something happened, YOU could be held liable because you knew.
Applause for you though on contacting the police and being cautious enough to smell around when you are near her, etc. Also awesome that you contacted CPS... Keep going at that route and keep your SS safe!
Well you can't just keep him and drive away since you're the SM - BUT what I would have done is call the police, let them know you have a "keep the peace" situation where you are trying to drop off your stepchild to his mother and believe she's intoxicated and about to endanger his life by driving with him in the vehicle. You'd like an officer's assistance in ensuring everyone's safety. Obviously this is something you'd want to be sure of because you can look really bad if she's NOT intoxicated and she reports you for false accusations like that...BUT, if you're sure or even mostly sure, I wouldn't want the child endangered and I would feel SO guilty if she drove off and killed herself, SS or someone else.
If this is a reoccuring problem for her, like you state it seems to be, I would probably look into having a keep the peace done with a law enforcement officer at EVERY drop off and pick up - that way if there is a problem in the future, the officer is already there and no one's life is endangered because they can put a stop to it at that moment.
My SS doesn't like going back to her and throws the biggest fit. I have to put him in his carseat since he won't let go of me.
I never thought of that. It will not happen again!!! I will take my chances. I would rather have him safe.
I am new to this whole SM thing and didn't want to hurt our custody case by not cooperating with BM.
Thanks for the input.
Scary. Can you call like Protective Services or a Social Worker? I think you should keep him by your side for safety . . . poor little munchkin not wanting to go with his BM is a warning sign.
Hope all turns out okay, and that BM gets some help!
My custody order says that I can refuse to hand over pinkers if he appears to be under the influence or if he doesn't have a car seat. Actually, it isn't the order that says that, it's the minimum standards paper in KY that says so.
Personally, I would put the child back in your car and wait there. Do not drive off and do not allow her to take him any where. Call the police and call child services if they will not do anything. At the very least, ask the police to come out so you can file a report.
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