Sticky situation - DH's family at the shower?
HeatherandRay
member
DH has a huge family where my family is fairly small. When we got married, DH's mom hosted a wedding shower for his family and my mom hosted a wedding shower for my family. That tradition continued when my SIL was PG, my MIL hosted a seperate baby shower for their side of the family.
Well, my MIL recently passed away and DH's remaining family is not very close. Now I am confused about what to do for a shower. After MIL passed, my SIL was PG with Baby #3 and the girlfriend of DH's other brother hosted the "family" shower for my SIL (I think my FIL paid for it). I do not experct her to do the same for me because we are not very close.
It would be simplest to just ask my mom to host DH's family at my shower too but his family is huge and my mom does not have a lot of money, she could never have the shower at her house because everyone would not fit.
Also, we are not close with DH's family so I would not expect a family shower from them. Of course, there is a slight, albeit unlikely, possibility they might (SIL had two family showers while I would get none so there would be a disparity there), but how would we even bring that up to see what they are thinking?
Another possibility is to just not invite DH's extended family but, they might be insulted, particularly if they were included in all of the other family showers.
We do have some time to sort everything out, but it is important to my mom because there is a huge difference in planning a shower for 30 vs. planning a shower for 70.
Re: Sticky situation - DH's family at the shower?
Eight weeks is awfully early to be worrying about this.
Honestly, it's not your decision how big the shower is. Whomever is hosting - which sounds like your Mom - decides the size of the guest list, based on her budget and the space she has available. Ask her what number she's comfortable with, and go from there. I'd say that if you're looking at something on the smaller side, just invite your DH's sisters.
Another possibility is to just not invite DH's extended family but, they might be insulted
Then one of them can step up and throw you a shower! Just because it's always been done a certain way doesn't mean it HAS to be done that way forever more. I'm sure your DH's family realizes things will change since his mother passed (very sorry to hear that, by the way).
IF anyone says or complains about being invited, all you say is that your mom was only able to host a small shower. Period. If someone wants to take it from there and host one, great. If not, then.... they won't.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
OMG do not ask anyone or have DH ask anyone to host a shower for you.. Lord save me a shower is a party thrown in your honor by someone close to you. You don't ask for one!!!
I bet someone will step up. Best not to worry about these things! It will work out how it is supposed to work out!
no. ?do NOT do this.?
If your shower was a ladies only event would that help lower your number??
Eight weeks is early to worry about this you never know who may offer to host a shower for you from Dh's side of the family. Worse case no one offers from Dh's side and your mom can not have that many at the one she is planning you could always have a meet the baby for Dh's side of the family for after the baby is born.?
If you mom wants to host a shower for DH's family as well, she could just do a cake shower and not serve a meal to save money. If she had at a time that wasn't close to a meal time, most people would get the hint. I would wait until you are close to your 3rd trimester to start worrying about it.