Am I wrong?

Sofka

This is the situation, my sister will be in town from tonight till this upcoming weekend. Last time she saw DD she was 2 weeks old (2 mo ago). The plan was for me to take DD to my parents' tomorrow so that my sister could spend the day with her (my Mom takes care of DD while I'm at work). DH is home all this week, while I'm working today/tomorrow. Well, I come to find out that my Mom will not be home most of the day tomorrow. My Dad has never been w/ DD alone, has never changed her, fed or soothed her. He will be home only part of the day. This means my sister would be alone w/ DD. I do not feel comfortable since she hasn't seen her since she was 2 weeks old and has no experience taking care of her (feeding, diapering, soothing). Once I found out my Mom won't be home, I decided to leave DD at home with DH, telling my sister to come over (my parents live just a few miles away). MS is very offended that I don't trust her w/ DD. My viewpoint is that as far as DD is concerned MS is a stranger and DD is a totally different baby than she was 2 mos ago.

Am I wrong not to trust my sister w/ DD? Would appreciate your honest opinions. FWIW, my sister has no children but keeps reminding me of her babysitting experience (10 yrs ago).

asolare

i think you need to trust your instincts.  you know your sister.  i would probably trust her (you are always just a phone call away and you can give explicit instructions) but...you are the mom, and you need to go with your gut.

Agrippa

I agree with PP.  While I would probably trust her, you know your sister better than any of us!

LMH1209

I agree -- trust your instincts.  If your mom normally spends the day taking care of your daughter, I'd be annoyed with your mom for deciding to go out for the day (just assuming your sister could stay with her) without talking to you first.

Sofka

oh, I'm totally annoyned w/ my Mom for making this decision w/out consulting me!

I just feel that: DH and I made the decision and our family has to accept it; they don't have to like it but they do have to accept it since it's our child.

Artslvr

Sister or not, I'd be very nervous to leave a small baby with someone who babysitted 10 years ago.  I'd also be mad at mom for assuming sister could handle a baby all day - a baby she's totally unfamiliar with.  I'm totally with you.  And she has a right to feel offended.  Everyone has a right to their feelings.

Maybe to smooth things over you can try "I'm a new mom and I guess I'm just overly protective, but I really only want people who are familiar with baby to babysit" or "DH so seldom gets to spend a whole day with baby, it'll be so nice for you to spend the day with him taking care of baby..."

kbird

My sister had babies before I did - but the dynamic was opposite of your situation. ?She was always quick to hand them over to me (even as small babies). ?And I never wanted to be alone with one! ?I did all my babysitting in "team" situations - with another family member or trusted friend that my sister knew - even if it was just a couple hours. ?If I was your sister, I'd be begging mom to stick around and help me - or I'd insist on staying at your house and helping your dh. ?Bottom line - you have to feel comfortable with the situation.

Hunter22

You know your sister best and you know your relationship with her. My sister didn't hesitate for a second leaving me with my nephew at three months when I hadn't seen him since he was a week old (and I would have been pretty upset if she was). But, and I don't know if this matters or whatever, I was 29 at the time and she knows I am perfectly capable of handling a baby and/or calling her if there is an issue. Also, she doesn't have a stranger issue. If your sister is 22 and hasn't been around a lot of babies I might be a bit nervous myself.?

lovelaughlive

Although be OK with this, I don't think you should do anything you are uncomfortable with.