My Aunt on my mom's side very nicely offered to have my shower and she asked for a list of my "friends". Do I give her DH family also or does it just stick to my side? I feel bad because if I give her a list of everyone it turns out to be a lot of people but I don't want to not include them and I doubt my DH's side is planning a shower. Is it normal to have a joint family shower?
TIA!
Re: Ettiquette question
I think most people, unless they're having more than one shower, have joint family showers. Considering it's supposed to be celebrating the baby that you AND your DH made, I would think his family should be included.?
You could always give her the full list, and if she mentions that it's a lot of people, you could cut out the least necessary. Leave off some aunts or cousins, but make sure mom/sisters are included. ?
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
How lovely of your aunt to offer! Ask her to tell you what size guest list she's expecting - that right there will ensure that the guest list you provide doesn't exceed the space and budget she has available.
Showers are largely regional. Here in the South it's common for several people to offer to host different showers, and the guest list at each is rarely more than 15 - 20 people. In the northeast I've heard of enormous showers of 40+ guests.
As for your ILs, it's customary to invite - at the very least - your MIL. If your DH has sisters, I'd invite them, too.
I think you should ask her about how many people she was expecting to host first. Based on where she's holding it, what her budget it, etc. Then go from there. if she's thinking 30, lets say, and including his family would make it 60 - then you don't include them.
If anyone on his side were to ask about a shower, all that has to be said is that one is being thrown but the host could only invite ___ people and you all weren't ab le to include his entire family. from there- if one of them wants to step up and throw one, they can.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Suggestion: You shouldn't split up the families!
I would ask how many people she is expecting. Then work from that. Would it help if you did a friend and family one seperate?
I think we are going to have to do a family shower and then a friend (co-ed) shower. I did that for my bridal shower and it turned out great. Plus my family lives an hour away from me and it was easier to have the shower at my moms. My friends won't want to travel that far that's for sure. So we will do something local at a friends house or a pizza place (where the guys have unlimited beer and snacks).