Parenting after a Loss

I am an anxious mess! (long)

Let me preface this with the fact that I do not do well with change.  I am just starting to get the hang of being a mother (some days not so much).  I go back to work on the 12th of January and I am losing sleep over it now.  DH told me last night that he thinks he will be ready to go back to work when I do.  While I am thrilled that he is recovering much quicker than we anticipated and if he goes back to work we can stop borrowing money from my MIL, I had it set in my mind that he would be home with DD for 6 weeks when I went back to work.  That made me feel better.  My MIL has offered to watch DD until March 1 and I have mixed feelings about this.  She is constantly trying to change the way we do things and if she has DD all day she will have the opportunity to do it herself.  I am also really anxious about how I am supposed to get it all done.  DD, work, housework, dinner - there does not seem to be enough hours in the day.  I also have a job that I don't really have any down time or cannot afford to have an off day.  DD sometimes still gets up 2x a night to eat (I can't do anything about that until she weighs more).  Sometimes it is only once but there is no rhyme or reason to it.  I am sure it will work itself out (millions of women do it everyday) but for the time being I am pretty much close to tears all day and cannot fall asleep when I need to.

Re: I am an anxious mess! (long)

  • (((HUGS)))

    It does sound like a lot of change is happening all at once.  It's so hard to start back at work... I did the week before xmas.  I kept saying that I wanted more hours in the day to just have more time with her.  It sounds like both a blessing and curse to have your DH go back at the same time.  But the good thing is that your daughter will get used to the new routine quicker that way.  Do you have other options for child care besides your MIL?  It sounds like it might be better to have someone not emotionally involved watching her so that your requests are followed. 

    Every day will get easier... and your daughter will start sleeping through the night sooner than you think.  Hang in there.  

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  • I am so sorry, but I know how you feel. I return to work on the 12th and it's all I can think about as well. I have been worrying about it since before Christmas and it kept me from enjoying Maddie's first Christmas like I wanted. Did you e-mail MiaMichelle to joing the PAL working mom's group? I am hoping that having that little group with other working mom's will help with the transition. And maybe we can all lend eachother ideas on how to manage it all while working full time. Hang in there, and know that you're not alone. I'm here to listen anytime, we can cry together:(
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  • I'm so sorry you are suffering through this.  God knows I am too.  I'm going to get the working mom's group together so we can start connecting.

    You are not alone.  I don't know if that helps any, but I try and remind myself of that when I am feeling low about it.  Hugs :)

  • ((big hugs))

    That's a lot of stress!  Just do what you can do.  I hope the work situation and your MIL works out.  Maybe you'll just have to put your foot down.  You and DH are the parents.

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