Success after IF

who watches DC during the day...SAHM & all reply

Currently My Mom watches my DD while I work.  It is perfect, more then perfect, but my Dad's business is going downhill and he wants my Mom to get a job. MIL is retiring in the summer but having DD go there FT makes me sick to the stomach.  I would love to go PT or SAH but I hold the health Insurance and money is already tight and with having #2 that is a must right now. 

I am not sure if Daycare if right for us, I am weird about someone watching DD that is not family.  I am so stuck.  I hate for my Mom to watch DD all day then have to work at night.  The whole situation sucks.

 So who watches your DC and do you like it, does it work for you?  If you are a SAHM how do you do it?  Dh and I do not make much we already live paycheck to paycheck.

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Re: who watches DC during the day...SAHM & all reply

  • I am a FT WAHM.  I have a nanny who does between 8 and 16 hrs of watching Harmon a week.  My company pays for her, and she is paid quite well.

    I don't have issues with daycare.  You really should check it out.  Some facilities are EXCELLENT!  Tough situation, I wouldn't want my Mom watching Harm b/c she works FT and I would worry she would fall asleep or be too exhausted to really care for him properly.

    I did have the option of SAH but it just wasn't for me.  To have that option we cut out all the extras: eating out, downsizing our home, trips, etc.  

    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
  • When I go back to work my mom will be watching dd. My mom retired last summer but she was going to have to get a part time job. Instead of my mom getting a job and us having to put dd in day care we are going to pay my mom to watch dd. We will pay her less than a day care provider so it will help her and us! We are weird aout others watching our dd too:) Good Luck!

    For DD - IVF/ICSI #1 - BFP / For DS - dIUI #1 - BFP Dx:severe MFI-Y Chromosome Microdeletion Isabel born 10-15-08! / Baby Boy EDD July 2013 imageLily  pie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • I sah, but three days a week baby and I go to take care of some children at their home. It is ideal as Nolan is around other children who are well-behaved, so he has good role models, and I am making some money while being with my son. We are working on baby number two, so I hope to keep this situation as long as we can. I could not stomach the thought of leaving him at daycare, and we could not afford day care on my teacher salary. It was not worth it for me to work, and feel like poop being away from him all day. I know what you mean about family watching him, and I would never again leave him with the ILs
  • my mom will be watching ds - we will be paying her 200 dollars a month which is nothing compared to daycare costs of course - it's just to cover her gas and incidentals.
    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • I would be concerned about SAH if you are already living paycheck to paycheck.  I SAH and have no one, really, to help with DS.  We have cut back on eating out, shopping, etc.  I think the idea the others gave of paying your mother could help everyone involved.  Good luck with your decision. 
  • can you pay your mom to watch your child?  would paying her the same rate you would pay a nanny help out your parents and give you piece of mind?
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  • My husband has a job where it's 4 days on 4 days off so he keeps him when his off and my mom keeps him the other days.  I love it.  We just live across the road from my mom so she comes over in the morning. I'm also a teacher so I get a lot of holidays and get home around 4:00 every day.
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  • Could you pay your mom to watch DD?  Maybe pay her less than it would cost you elsewhere in case she felt funny about it-- but that way, you have a situation that makes you comfortable without worrying about affecting your parent's financial security?

     

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  • DH and I are both dentists... but we will both be on active duty when our baby is born... we are also going to be sent to Japan, so we will be forced to use daycare for a while.  What I am planning to do is to try to find a nanny during the first 6 months or so... I owe 3 years of active duty, and I hate the idea that I've worked so hard but still have to work 5 days a week right now. 

    Maybe a good compromise is either (1) mom, or (2) daycare so you can work your butt off and transition to part-time/nanny?

    Good luck.



    Me – 33 (no diagnosis), DH – 41 (MFI)

    IVF #1/ICSI 2008 – 22 ER, 21 F, Day 3 transfer (8A and 8B) - BFP, 3 Frosties

    Surprise BFP 2010

    Surprise BFP 2011

    Shipped frosties from TX to VA in 2012

    FET #1 May 2013, single blast – BFN

    FET #2 August 2013 2 blasts – BFN

    IVF #2/ICSI/AH Jan 2014 – 8 ER, 7M, 6 F Day 3 transfer (grade 2 & 3), no frosties - BFP!



  • I will be SAH for now and seeing how it goes. However, by the time DS is 2, I know he will be in a pre-preschool program. Agree with others about maybe trying to pay your mom depending on how much she would be making if she got another job.
  • Being a SAHM wasn't a financial option for us, at all.  We were so lucky to find a great woman a couple of miles away that only has four other children in her home.  We spent quite a bit of time with her and her daycare children and while I'd not like to use the word "excited," we're comforted (?) that our DD will be with her.  I'd die if we had to rely on either of our mothers. 

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  • I will be paying my mom to watch DD.
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  • Thankfully, my mom watches Ava 3 days a week.  I have her 2 days and DH has her the other 2 days (I work weekends and have 2 days off mid-week). 

    I'm looking for a new job now, hoping to get M-F, so the 3 of us can spend time together.  I worry about my mom watching her 5 days a week, because that is really asking alot of her.  I know she is more than willing, and happy to do it, but still....  in a perfect world, I would SAH Big Smile  Too bad the economy sucks and I have to work...Angry

  • Thanks ladies, SAH is not an option, but I am going to bring up paying her to do it, she currently doe snot get paid and insists on taking nothing.  Maybe I can take food over once a week just to help out b/c DD eats lunch and breakfast there everyday.  ILs will go back hopfully soon to one day a week (all i can handle) and she is in school wo times a week for 2 1/2 hours just for interaction, b/c my nephew is NOT a good influence (my mom watches him too), We will try to work something out, My mom told me this morning she will not be getting a job and if she does have to she will work it out with us.  I wish in a perfect world I could stay home. 
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  • I would love to stay at home with DD, but with the unpredictability of the airline industry we like to know we 2 paychecks to count on. We don't have any relatives near us (that would be ideal if they could watch her), and all of our friends are single or DINKS so there's no help there, We plan to arrange our work schedules so DD will only have to be in daycare 4-8 hours (two mornings) a week. DH will work nights and the occasional weekend, so he can be with her while I'm at work for most of the week.

    Weigh the cost of daycare vs. what you'll be bringing home to decide if it's worth it. Do you or your husband have work schedules that can be rearranged to be a little less traditional?

  • I think paying your mom is an excellent suggestion.

    I will have had 14 months off with DD when I go back to work in 2 weeks. I'm excited to have the adult interaction and we LOVE DD's daycare provider. She watches 4 kids in total in her home, and it's so evident she really loves them. DD is very happy there, which gives me a lot of peace of mind. I'm only going back to work 3 days a week though - my feelings about the situation might be very different if I had to work 5 days a week. A home daycare was the only choice for us.

  • I work 3 days/week.  We have a nanny who takes care of DS in our house. 
  • My Dh is a cop and works nights so he is home with the kids during the day while I work. I am a HS teacher and work from 8-230 so it works well becaue I am home early. My mom works part time and also helps us out.

    PS Happy 18 weeks :) I see we are due the same day!

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  • I work PT from home, so I am home with my son all day.  I am very lucky because DH carries the health insurance and we are able to afford me being home.

    If I had to work full time, I would probably take my son to my MIL's house.

    Wyatt 3.21.07 Grant 8.29.09 Ross 9.21.11 Pregnancy Ticker
  • I am a working mother but I do stay home all day with DS.  I work two 12 hour night shifts a week.  When I work at night, DH stays with DS and puts him to bed.  If DH is traveling (which he does frequently) I have a babysitter who comes to the house and spends the night.  Our babysitter answered our Craigslist ad and she is awesome.  She has a FT job as a lawyer!!!!  She babysits on the side (go figure).  My parents also watch DS if DH is OOT and DS goes to their house overnight (only on Friday or Saturday nights).  That is our situation and we are trying our best to make it work for us.
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