Infertility

"You should get started on a family... chip chop, chip chop!!"

Yes, my cousin's husband actually said that to me.  Whilst SNAPPING HIS FINGERS no less.  In all fairness, they do not know about our IF, or about our recent m/c.  But still.  He said now that I am unemployed, I should get started on a family cause we need some kids running around on Christmas.  I stared at him blankly because I did not know what to say, and then I went to the bathroom because I had started crying and didn't want to make a big production out of it.  He is normally an *ss, so I guess I wouldn't expect any different...  But still, it stung.

Re: "You should get started on a family... chip chop, chip chop!!"

  • OMG. I think that would have been the point where I said "well I just had a m/c so maybe you should think before you snap your fingers at me!"

    I'm so sorry that happened. 

     

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  • I am so sorry that happened. My DH's mom says stuff like that all the time and she doesn't know about my PCOS.
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  • Ugh, I am so sorry! I hate people like that, and of course they are the worst around the holidays-when we need it the least! I have gotten to the point that when people make comments to me like that I just look at them and tell them it's not from lack of trying, but we've had 3mc's so if they can find a way to fix that then I'd be more than happy to oblige. That usually shuts them up fast! And, I'll admit, it makes me feel better too....
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  • I too have not found it easy to keep my mouth shut at comments like that...wow that is sure amazing when people think its actually ok to say stuff like that. Like come on! I see you are def. a strong person and soo sorry you have to have people say stupid things like that to you.
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  • i know... we haven't told anyone either but everyone keeps asking us when we're going to have kids.  it's so hard not to get upset about it, even if you can't fault them for not knowing... i try to just shrug it off....but honestly it just snowballs and then i cry later when i'm by myself
  • I'm so sorry that happened to you!  What a jacka$$ - honestly, why do people do crap like that???  I think you handled yourself very well.  ((( BIG HUGS )))
    TTC #1 w/ endo since Sept 2005. After many losses, a lap, tons of meds and tons of testing and, one failed IVF cycle, we were blown away with a surprise, sticky BFP...it's a girl!!! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I'm so sorry!! Well, if it's any consolation, my DH's granny asked me, yet again, yesterday when we're going to have a baby...which was quickly followed by the proverbial "you're not getting any younger you know"...Man I just love family time at the holidays...Angry

  • Ugh! ?I'm so sorry! ?((hugs)) ?I agree that it sounds like you handled it very well.?


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  • I don't care if he knew about your IF or MC, or not - he was still still way out of line. How does he know you're not childless by choice?

    What did you cousin have to say about this?

  • Same exact thing happened to me on Christmas Eve. Except it was DH's aunt who said "Oh, they are just taking their time!" when my father in law stated that we are the only ones without children. It wasn't offensive but if only they knew what we have been through so far...
    TTC#1=Feb 2009: 50 mg Clomid+Ovidrel shot+Metformin+Dexamethasone+TI=BFP!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC#2=July 2011: Surprise BFP: Chemical Pregnancy
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