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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
ADHD or ADD what are your thoughts
Hello,
I was wondering if anybody has kids or themselves were diagnosed with ADHD or ADD. How do you deal with it? Do you or your kids take meds? For how long now?
The reason I am asking is because my 9 year old just got diagnosed with it mainly based on input of his two teachers (who are best friends, keep in mind).
I keep reading about all of those success stories and how much it helped people, but the idea of starting my child on something like that and possibly for the rest of his life, makes me really uncomfortable. I have also read that there are not studies past 4 months of taking meds or side effects.
I was thinking, maybe it's just how he is and a better teacher/new school/new environment may change that all.
I am just lost and need some input.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ADHD or ADD what are your thoughts
My stepbrother was diagnosed at a young age (not sure exactly when) and they put him on meds. He's 18 now and they are still constantly changing them and trying new things. It's like he's always either in a haze or super wired by whatever drug he's on. I say just based on seeing what he's been going through you should try every single 'intervention' you can come up with before going to meds...then again I'm pretty anti medication with everything so to each his own, but just my 2 cents.
Good luck with him, and just know you aren't alone. Many families deal with it and have great 'grown ups' to show for it!
My nephew was just "diagnosed" with input from his teacher as well. He will be 9 this spring. He gets good grades in school and to our family he doesn't seem to lack focus, etc. Obviously we aren't psychiatrists/psychologists (although neither is his teacher) so my sister is going to watch him, watch his grades/behavior and hold off on jumping into taking any meds. If she sees evidence on her end or if after checking back with his teacher there are still concerns she will take him to a specialist to get checked out.
We both think the jump to diagnose kids with ADHD/ADD is too quick. The decision to put a child on medication is incredibly serious to us so it should require a lot of research/evaluation. Not to say it's not valid in some cases but it shouldn't be the first resort. I also wonder if certain children who do indeed have ADHD/ADD would benefit from more homeopathic treatment (i.e. changes in diet, more physical activity, etc.).
I think your idea of looking at a new environment is interesting. Perhaps he isn't being stimulated enough in his current class or needs to be moving at a faster pace so then he becomes bored, acts up, whatever. Might be worth looking into more. Good luck.
I think it's overdiagnosed, often based on non-medical opinions. I'm not saying it's not a legitimate condition, I just think that, like your son's teachers, people who aren't doctors are making decisions that are referred to a doctor who then makes a diagnosis with little more than those opinions.
I had a friend whose son was diagnosed with ADHD. Personally, I think he was possessed by Satan. He wasn't hyper, he was a sociopath. But the ritalin just turned him into a drug dealer since he sold it at school.
My sister was diagnosed with ADD. She actually had petit mal seizures, which my mother discovered. She had her treated with a combination of educational training and therapy, kind of like working with a dyslexic. Becky never had drugs. Good teachers and good doctors made a huge difference.
As a former teacher (second and fourth grades) I've seen what meds can do to a child that needs them. If you do decided to put him on meds, you will see a difference very quickly. If he doesn't need them then, you will see no difference in his behavior.
If I were in your shoes, I'd try the meds and if I didn't like what they were doing, I would take him off. Then, you can always say you've tried that route and weren't happy with it.
If there are serious problems in the classroom it's very unlikely that changing his environment is going to change anything. GL.
Teachers cannot diagnose ADD/ADHD. They spend 8 hours a day with your child and can only discuss what they observe with you. It's almost a cry out for help when a teacher sits down with you to discuss this with you. It's a very difficult thing to do for a teacher.
Violetblue-that's a classic parent comment. When a kiddo disrupts the classroom, he's of course, not being challenged.
I have many opinions on this topic, the first and foremost is that ADD/ADHD are real concerns and the quickness of society to diagnose children without looking at other reasons (and so mis-diagnosed) does a disservice to those who truely have ADD/ADHD.
My sons fifth grade teacher informed me that he was ADHD, based solely on her professional medical opinion (which would be non-existant). She told me that I needed to medicate him, put him in private school, pay for a tutor or all of the above. This was in the second month of school. I was very hurt, and lost - like you said.
The way we teach children is not the way that boys commonly learn. So first you need to examine their expectations. One discovery for my son was that he had a hard time focusing in math. Dug a bit deeper and discovered that math was right before lunch and lunch wasn't until 1:45 for the fifth graders. They started school at 9. Also, they got two recesses in the day, but both recesses happened after lunch. So, not only was he trying to learn in a style that didn't fit him, he was hungry and antsy.
Private school was out of the question, paying for a tutor was too. Homeschool also wasn't an option, and not one that I wanted anyways. I didn't take him to the Dr, because basically I knew that it was wrong. He didn't demonstrate all the behaviours of ADD/ADHD.
I did some reading and here is what I chose to do...
Postive reinforcement for school accomplishments. We did a noodle jar and he got noodles for pages read in a book, points scored on tests, points scored on AR tests, etc. When he reached the top, he got to do something special. It was always an activity, never a toy. We did a lot of trips to the aquarium and science center.
DHA supplements. Purchased at Super Supplements and made just for kids.
Magnesium. Added a teaspoon to his milk at night. It is a muscle relaxer and sleep aid. With all the media stimulants, it is hard for little brains to just turn off and relax at night. It also helped with growing pains (ds is 11, just over 5 feet and size 8 mens shoes!).
Eliminated red dye from his diet. This was really hard, since everything a boy likes seems to have red dye in it.
We also got a snack time for the fifth graders if the parents wanted to provide one.
I don't know if one particular thing helped, or if it was everything together. But it did help, and the teacher noticed.
I have fallen off the wagon in keeping up with it, and I need to start again. Especially since his start in middle school, this year, has not been so successful.
Good Luck, and don't feel bullied into a diagnosis by your sons teachers.
I am a school social worker and help students /parents with ADHD all the time. I know every school / district is different, but there are tons of things you can do before starting meds for your son. I would talk with the teachers and see what behaviors they are seeing in the classroom - what are their concerns? what are they seeing in your son that make them suspect he is having attention problems? Are you seeing some of these behaviors at home too?
Our school nurse has behavior checklists that teachers can complete regarding behavior. This gives you some concrete evidence (exactly what behaviors are occurring, how often, etc.) that you can take to your pediatrician to discuss to evaluate whether or not you son has ADHD. Also, after talking to the teacher, if you find that your son is having difficulties in the room, talk over some solutions - is he in a new school and anxious about that? is the work too hard or too easy? is he distracted by other kids? - see what classroom management procedures can be put in place to help him be successful and see if that changes anything.
Ultimately, you are the parent and you know your child the best. You (along with a doctor) decide whether or not he needs medications. I have seen parents who decide both ways. Regardless of what you decide, your school should be willing to put a plan in place to work to help your child be successful.
Good luck to you and your son!!
He is in fact always in motion, but he pays attention or at least tries. He is very easily destructed though. He has always been like that. His grades are not doing very well this year, but I do put a lot on his teacher and her "grading" methods which I don't agree at all. He catches on very quickly, but rushes to be done first. That causes him to make a lot of mistakes, silly mistakes. He is in advance math and they refuse (including principal) to move him to the basic math (which would be with his class teacher).
If you do a search on Wikipedia for ADHD, the symptoms surely match, but that can also be matched with many kids his age.
He is very active and I mean very active. He is small and skinny and can pretty much do anything.
He is very smart as well. I got him multiplication cards and after two nights, he was flying thru them. Yes, he would get stuck in higher numbers, but he can still do them (using fingers). However, when we do spelling, he literally stands on his head or rolls on the floor. He gets them right, but he has to move around.
You guys are great help, please keep your comments coming.
Does your son exhibit these concerning behaviors outside of the school setting? If you don't see the concerns at home or in any other settings, chances are it is not ADHD.
Nevertheless, it sounds like his teachers are having some difficulty maintaining him. Maybe sit down with them and see if you can't work some things out? I'm sure it is tempting to move your son to a different school or classroom or just try to wait it out, but this might be a good learning opportunity for everyone involved.
I diagnose children with ADHD and usually when I do, it's not a shock to anyone--parents and teachers alike. If you do choose the medication route, I'd suggest going to visit a child psychiatrist instead of your pediatrician or family doctor. For what it's worth, I've seen medication do wonders for children but at the same time, if it's not ADHD, you are essentially giving an already hyper child a stimulant. There are also a variety of behavioral interventions that have been proven effective with ADHD, as well. It's a personal decision though and one that is probably best not made based on what strangers on the internet offer.
Good luck to you. I hope things work out. Don't be afraid to get a second opinion.
I do remember reading a study that for children having a difficult time concentrating that having to balance on something while they do a task actually helps them focus better.
At my son's school they offer exercise balls for that prupose, and the kids use them instead of chairs.
Pinktulips, you made some very valid points. His math in fact is right before lunch and right after reading and writing classes. Very overwhelming if you ask me.
I do feel that it's better for him to learn to control it/live with it, then put him on meds that will cause issues future in life. From the sound of it, those are for the rest of your life. My PD did say that 50% of kids do overgrow it. However, I haven't heard one case (so far) where someone stopped using them.
We already had two meetings with both of those teachers and I even insisted on principal to be present as well. Everything got blamed on him and that he is not organized.
Thank you guys for your input, it gave me some great ideas.
If you have more suggestions, please keep them coming. I will consider anything to avoid meds if he doesn't need them.
Dr did mention that drinking coffee for kids with ADHD creates opposite effect (similar to meds, makes them less hyper and helps them to focus) where for the non ADHD kids it will make them more hyper.
More than once, I gave one of those squishy balls to my ADHD students to squish around in their hand while at their desk and it worked well. I also had no problem with a student standing up at his desk while I did whole group lessons if he needed to.
I would suggest meeting with the teachers again along, with your son, and all of you "make a plan" on exactly what the problems are and how he thinks he could solve them.
Again, the meds, once you find the right one, would help almost immediately if that's what he needed.
I'm sorry that you're having to worry about this.
My only advice is to get a second and third opinion. When my son was in kindergarden, the teacher was really pushing it. He seen a psychiatrist at the school, who then referred him to a doc outside of school. We seen a few different ones and everyone gave me different info. The one thing that they all said though is consistancy. Is your child behaving the same way at school? home? in public? His hyperactivity should be the same in all enviroments. David's was not, it was generally only in school.
I would suggest therapy first and see how it goes, then move onto medicine if necessary. I am not anti-meds nor did I push for them. But I wanted to make sure I tried all my options before hand.
I am glad we did what we did because he has gotten so much better. He is still hyper and active but I honestly think he is just being a boy. He has no difficutly paying attention in class and his grades are high.
Good luck and go with your gut. You know your child best
Jonathan Dean 4.5.08
Anna Capri 5.4.11
As a high school teacher, I get a lot of parents who come in and say their kids have ADD or ADHD. Some of them are not even diagnosed, and when I ask for an IEP outlining a plan of action (we get an IEP for all kids who have been diagnosed by a doctor, regardless of whether they are on meds or not), the parents will say, "Well, no, it's just obvious he/she can't pay attention." So I think there is a huge misconception on what ADD and ADHD are. I will say there is a huge difference between the kids who obviously have it and are being treated (I have a couple kids who have it and I have them before they get their meds at lunchtime). There is a huge difference between how the kids who have been diagnosed and either are or aren't being treated act.
I would think of either changing the environment to see if it makes a difference, or, if this is too drastic, then see a doctor and just see what they say. I know it seems like kids are overdiagnosed, and I agree they are, but the people who are there to diagnose it aren't looking for nothing, you know?
Good luck either way. It is a hard thing to hear, but remember it's not necessarily true, and even if it is, there are a huge number of kids today who have ADD/ADHD and they are just fine!
Ditto this. I also agree that a psych eval is essential. My DH has ADHD and is dyslexic. His ADHD was controlled by meds as a child, but now is not. He is able to function perfectly in society although his symptoms do pose challenges that we've had to learn to adapt too.
I am also a teacher. I teach special ed right now. I agree ADD and ADHD are too commonly diagnosed which is why the pysch eval will be very helpful. Your son's school should provide this at your request (at least that is the law in MA) If your son truly has ADD or ADHD then meds can be extremely helpful. My nephew also has ADHD and you can tell in an instant the days he hasn't taken his medication. However, medication needs to be accompanied by behavior modification techniques in my opinion in order to be the most beneficial for the child.
Good luck
I am a teacher and did a dual major in psychology so i have seen kids that showcase the symptoms of ADD/ADHD...i have never been quick to make a diagnosis (bc i am not a practicing psychologist) but i have always written down my observations with kids and if it seems to be pretty consistent and/or bothersome (you know distracting to others, etc) than that is when i typically schedule a meeting with the parents....(i wait for some time bc maybe the child is stressed about home life and maybe they are going through something) but before i even do that i always ask other teachers, since i dont teach ALL subjects (oh yeah im a kindergarten teacher but i've taught 3rd and 4th) i ask the other teachers if they have had similar observations....most of the time they have said they've seen those actions but sometimes not consistently...so when it comes due time for the parent meeting i always present my information and my observations and from there, get their input and we make a plan on what i can do as a teacher and what they can do as parents. typically we dont have the child involved and we work with these remedies bc i have found that it stresses children out if they know they need "special assistance" especially with as mean kids are now days. My sister has 3 children 11, 10 and 7. The oldest has been diagnosed and has been treated with ADD but bc she cant swallow pills well (or refuses to try, dont ask me...its frustrating to me) they have to empty the capsules either in her food or drink in her breakfast. problem is she always says this tastes funny and she doesnt finish (what a waste....this frustrates me too...) and another thing is she is NEVER consistenly on the meds except for when she has tests in class. That is not good for her and certainly doesn't help her. But i have told my sis different remedies and she seems to be doing better. And recently the middle child came up in a student-teacher meeting with my sis and my BIL about him having ADD. of course my sis first came to me and asked if its likely. but since i dont know how he behaves in a classroom environment i cant make that call but i have looked at her teachers notes and they seem bogus (shes a first year teacher) and i feel strongly that she jumped too quickly to make a call like that....
WHOO sorry soooo long! but i have always suggested the parents to come in to observe me teaching and observe their student along with the class so they can observe my teaching methods (and if they seem room for improvement or changes) and observe how their student behaves and their focus patterns. This has been my first suggestion for parents to try, that way they can try to compare what they see at home and what they have seen in class (typically i ask them to come in class at least 3 times) and since we have such an active PTA the students are used to seeing parents in the classroom so the kids dont get nervous or anxious when other adults are in the class. i have always suggested this first before seeing a doc and at the same time as our other remedies....
you have plenty of resources USE them....you have us here
that are teachers/ and or doctors (not sure if there are any) and the school and district have excellent resources....GL!!! and feel free to ask any more questions