Help with MAJOR separation anxiety. Tips?

bim38106

So DD and I are at my parent's house (across country) for Christmas. DH is joining us tomorrow. We have been here for 5 days and I think DD's anxiety has gotten worse! I thought she'd be used to my parents by now but she's not. I can't even go to the bathroom w/out her. Seriously, if she's playing by me and I take one STEP away from her she flips out and crawls as fast as she can over to me and clings to my leg! I feel terrible for her but at the same time it's freaking exhausting!

She's sleeping quite well at night in her own room.. it's just the day that there's a problem. She's fine babbling at and playing w/ my parents as long as I'm right there. But they touch her, she shrieks and clings to me. DH and I were planning on spending a night away for our anniversary on Friday, but I don't know how that's going to work.. Do I just leave DD anyway and assume after some crying she'll be ok? By that point we'll have been here over a week... Will that be too traumatizing for her? I really need this break.. I haven't had one full night of sleep (or away from her) since she was born and I was so looking forward to it. I don't know what to do! Help please!!

Edit: At home she's not like this at all! She went through a phase a few months ago, but my ILs, SIL, babysitter all are fine w/ her at our house. She was fine at a friends house who I only see about once a month last week too...

aimeelv

It sounds to me like she's just having trouble adjusting to being in a new place with lots of new faces.  Could you guys try an evening out without her before you try to go away for a whole night?  Maybe go out to dinner and leave her with your parents to see how she does?

Mrs.N_2005

I think you should try to sneak out the door while she's playing and hopefully she won't see you go.  Then just call and check to see how she's doing.  From my experience, my mom has had a daycare since I was 5yrs, kids will stop crying/fussing/shrieking as soon as their mom is out of sight (most of the time).  In the meantime, maybe you should do a few little things like go get cas in the car, run a quick errand, etc, and see how she does when you leave her for longer than 5min.

bim38106

Thanks guys.. I'll try leaving for little bits of time and see what happens. Maybe it'll help once DH gets here tomorrow too. ?

Mrs.N, I've tried going to the bathroom and she didn't see me get up and leave, but she's constantly looking up and checking for me. The second she realized she didn't see me anymore she freaked. Maybe that's part of the problem that I haven't given her a chance to calm down because I just come back and bring her with me...

Mrs.N_2005

lol, poor baby girl, she just loves her mama!  It will probably be good for her to learn to trust your parents and learn that you will always come back to her.  I'm jealous, DD cries when I take her away from my mom! 

zoology2

like PP i would try a night out instead an overnight stay somewhere...plus when you say byes (if you'll be able to) dont drag them out...DD had sep. anxiety and i would just leave the door and she would cry for oh a good 3-4 minutes and then want to play....she will hopefully be ok...maybe get a new (small) toy for her to play with when you leave...maybe that'll help...or play xmas music so its too loud for her to hear you shuffle out! GL!

HeatherAA

Lucky for me, DD already started this! She would cry if DH or I left the room. I read in a book and try to  get down on her level and tell her where you are going. For example, say "Mommy is going into the kitchen to do dishes and I'll be back in a few minutes." It seemed to have to work for us here at home.

nosoup4u

Sorry, this is a late reply (I read this hours ago, but then DS had to nap, and DH came home...you know how it goes). Anyhoo, can you put her to bed and go out for a late dinner? Then you don't have to feel bad/worry about her getting sad if you're gone.

DS is the same way at his grandparents' houses - over Thanksgiving, either DH or I had to be with him the whole time, foiling our plans of naps while grandparents took care of him, heee. We'd like to go to a friend's for New Years (at least for a little bit), and are thinking my parents might watch him - my mom said she'd wear him in his baby backpack, which I think might help him a little, but we'll probably decide that night...good luck!