Baby Showers

is it ok to have a shower this time?

  I just got married last august to a man who had a boy and girl who are 4 and 5 from his first marriage. I had my son when I was 18 and still in highschool. I didn't have a shower. My MIL has hinted around throwing us a baby shower. I'm not sure she should. Yes we need stuff for the baby, but I thought showers were only for first time parents. Do you think it would be ok or not to have one?
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Re: is it ok to have a shower this time?

  • This is your first time as parents together - I'm sure your loved ones will want to celebrate that.

    We have friends who both had a child from previous marriages, and we were thrilled to attend a shower for their first baby together.

    I say go for it.

  • I think it's okay, because you didn't have one before.
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  • It's been a LONG time since your last baby and you didn't have a shower for the first one. I don't think anyone would bat an eye if you had a shower this time.
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  • imageMitzie:
    It's been a LONG time since your last baby and you didn't have a shower for the first one. I don't think anyone would bat an eye if you had a shower this time.

    I wouldn't really consider 2.5 years to be a LONG time.

  • imageDNK777:

    imageMitzie:
    It's been a LONG time since your last baby and you didn't have a shower for the first one. I don't think anyone would bat an eye if you had a shower this time.

    I wouldn't really consider 2.5 years to be a LONG time.

    ooh hey.. you're right. I didn't see the age there, just assumed since most of the baby having nesties are older.

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  • Showers are for first time parents, and neither of you are.  So, I would decline.
  • If it had been a long time since your son was born, then yes, a shower would be fine. But you just had a baby in the last couple of years, so I would decline.
  • if someone offers a shower i say yes. but i wouldnt ask or hint to one. this is your first child together
  • If someone else wants to throw you a shower let them, the shower is for other people to celebrate the baby comming and the addition to your family. I would think that maybe someone would be offended if you declined. I am remarried having my 2nd child and my sister-in-law is throwing me a shower, heck my father in-law was so excited he said he would throw it himself. If i declined they would be really upset. Unless you are very uncomfortable with having it i would go right ahead. Good luck!
  • you're 8 weeks along. ?rather early to be discussing shower plans, don't you think?

    in any case, i would decline the shower for the reasons PPs stated, and perhaps plan a "meet the baby" party. ?of course, i would not recommend registering for this.?

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  • Even if your kids are 15 years apart, you're still not a first-time Mom.  Sorry, but it's inappropriate to have a shower.
  • I've read a lot of things about this lately, and most people think that the old school rules are out.  We had a shower for my sister who's youngest was 10, and a boy, and she was having a girl.  Everyone loved the idea of having a shower for her.  I also threw one for my SIL who had a co-worker shower for her first, a boy, nothing for her second, a girl, so I threw a "Mommy" shower for her third, a girl.  After all, you wouldn't tell someone who was getting remarried that they shouldn't have a Bridal Shower, would you?
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  • imageJacquie_Palma:
    I've read a lot of things about this lately, and most people think that the old school rules are out.  We had a shower for my sister who's youngest was 10, and a boy, and she was having a girl.  Everyone loved the idea of having a shower for her.  I also threw one for my SIL who had a co-worker shower for her first, a boy, nothing for her second, a girl, so I threw a "Mommy" shower for her third, a girl.  After all, you wouldn't tell someone who was getting remarried that they shouldn't have a Bridal Shower, would you?

     

    erm, yes, I totally would!! Showers are for first time brides, only!!!

  • imageJacquie_Palma:
    I've read a lot of things about this lately, and most people think that the old school rules are out. 
    Really?  What have you been reading?

    imageJacquie_Palma:
    After all, you wouldn't tell someone who was getting remarried that they shouldn't have a Bridal Shower, would you?
    No, but I would expect her to know that and I sincerely doubt anyone would offer to host, no matter how very happy they might be for her.
  • 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc baby showers being tacky is a matter of opinion.  Opinionated snobs in my own opinion.  If your MIL wants to have a shower for you, let her.  It's just as much for the person throwing it as it is for the person it's for - given that she obviously wants to throw one.  F*ck anyone who thinks you're tacky for it.  Think for yourself.
  • I agree!  I didn't know there was "protocol" for having a baby shower.  I can't wait for my peanut's shower!  And I have a daughter who is 9, so I have had a shower before, just a long while ago.

     Enjoy yourself!  Tacky is a matter of opinion, and opinions are too easy to come by!

  • imageRoxyLynn:

    imageJacquie_Palma:
    I've read a lot of things about this lately, and most people think that the old school rules are out. 
    Really?  What have you been reading?

    imageJacquie_Palma:
    After all, you wouldn't tell someone who was getting remarried that they shouldn't have a Bridal Shower, would you?
    No, but I would expect her to know that and I sincerely doubt anyone would offer to host, no matter how very happy they might be for her.

     

    I actually googled baby shower etiquette and baby shower for 2nd baby.  It's completely acceptable for those who want to come out of the dark ages.

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  • okay well see i think it depends really on the region you live, and how things go there, just because, ive personally noticed, that down here,...where i live most people have baby showers usually all the time...for example if my sister we to have a girl instead of a boy this time around i would totally understand if she wanted another baby shower, she would need all the help she could get, she only has boy things,....as for me. I think its fine, its been 2 years so you may not have all of your old baby things....honestly if people dont like it then they can just not come,...its your choice, your baby, and if only family shows up than who cares!? Its just the fun and the help of having a baby shower....

     I love baby showers and would go to as many as i could for all my friends babys!

  • my girlfriend had one for each of her children. i think each child should get one. or at the very least the first boy and the first girl.?
  • I think it's okay.

    W (02/2009), N (08/2012), and C (04/2014)
  • OMG I feel like I am chasing these same few ladies around all over this board.  Lighten up and don't cast such harsh opinions on other people.  She is asking for advice, but don't make her feel bad about have another shower if she chooses to do so.  Opinions are like buttholes..everyone has one..and yours stinks too!

  • i completely agree with LyndsRae.  There are 2 or 3 really obnoxious posters on these message boards.  They seem to want to blast anyone who would dare admit that they would like to have a shower and anyone who has any role in orchestrating it.

    I'm new to this site, but these women have totally turned me off to "the Nest".  These women appear to enjoy lording their opinions over one and all - with no regard for the specific situations.  Who made them the "experts" in etiquette?  To me, THEY are the rude and tacky ones - not the people they blast!

       

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