Shower at a restaurant...any advice?

korrinniewinnie

So, my guest list ended up HUGE for the shower and the co-hostesses and I are thinking that a restaurant is really the only way to accommodate so many people. However, I really don't want them to spend a fortune to feed everyone. DH recommended having it at a restaurant and letting guests be responsible for ordering their own food off of the menu, rather than having a party menu selected. I, personally, am not huge on the idea, but wonder if anyone had any input. If you were invited to a shower at a restaurant (or anywhere else for that matter), would you expect food to be provided or come prepared to pay?

 BTW...our guest list is around 60 (yes, I actually know all of them), and the shower will probably be around 1-2pm.

Thanks, ladies!!

Stellar1

I would probably think that if the shower was at a restaurant, that it would be paid for. My bridesmaids had my bridal shower at a restaurant and they paid for it.

Erin Mary Ackerman

If you are invited to a restaurant for a party, the presumption is that you will be fed and not have to pay.

To make people order off the menu and pay at a baby shower is nearly the tackiest most horrific idea I have seen on these boards.

You host parties within your budget, and if that means cutting the guest list so be it.

RoxyLynn

My goodness, that's an enormous shower!  I'm surprised the hostesses didn't tell you how many guests they could accommodate when they asked for your invitation list.

You can not ask guests to give you gifts and pay for their own food.  Of course the hostesses need to provide refreshments and not ask the guests to cover anything at all.

Knottie1448927774

BrahimBride:

If you are invited to a restaurant for a party, the presumption is that you will be fed and not have to pay.

To make people order off the menu and pay at a baby shower is nearly the tackiest most horrific idea I have seen on these boards.

You host parties within your budget, and if that means cutting the guest list so be it.

agreed.?

wanticecream

BrahimBride:

If you are invited to a restaurant for a party, the presumption is that you will be fed and not have to pay.

To make people order off the menu and pay at a baby shower is nearly the tackiest most horrific idea I have seen on these boards.

You host parties within your budget, and if that means cutting the guest list so be it.

 

Don't know I would have used such strong language but I really do think that if people are invited to a restaurant, they will anticipate a meal that is paid for.  Sorry!!  Maybe consider having it at a restaurant that isn't too expensive??

korrinniewinnie

wanticecream:

BrahimBride:

If you are invited to a restaurant for a party, the presumption is that you will be fed and not have to pay.

To make people order off the menu and pay at a baby shower is nearly the tackiest most horrific idea I have seen on these boards.

You host parties within your budget, and if that means cutting the guest list so be it.

Don't know I would have used such strong language but I really do think that if people are invited to a restaurant, they will anticipate a meal that is paid for.  Sorry!!  Maybe consider having it at a restaurant that isn't too expensive??

 Wow, um, yeah...thanks for the feedback? I guess? I'm not really sure which grandma or aunt I would cut from the guest list, so that could be a challenge. Period.

I have other venues in mind, just wondered what other people thought. Thanks again.

LotteDay

Have the hostess look at renting a VFW hall or American Legion hall. Renting a room in one of those is usually only a couple of hundred dollars. Then have a few close people (the grandmas and aunts you can't cut off the list) make a dish or two. I threw a party for 80 at a VFW, fed everyone and had favors (hershey bars with custom wrappers) all for under $500.

DNK777

No, guests would assume that the meal would be paid for and it would be very tacky.  I would look into a VFW hall like the pp said or renting a room maybe at a library or something.  You could do a 2pm with a dessert buffet or maybe look into pizzas to try to save money.

Mitzie

showers (baby and bridal) at restaurants are very common where I live and I've never been to one where I had to pay for my meal. It's expected that you bring a gift and that's it.

eas15905

I feel like  you should pay for the food - even if that means finding a cheaper option...

hugoboogie

BrahimBride:

If you are invited to a restaurant for a party, the presumption is that you will be fed and not have to pay.

To make people order off the menu and pay at a baby shower is nearly the tackiest most horrific idea I have seen on these boards.

You host parties within your budget, and if that means cutting the guest list so be it.

 

Ditto.  Verbatim. 

MontyMrs

Why not keep your guest list, do it at the restaurant and help the hostesses out a bit financially? ?

brightning

Could you rent a place that isn't a restaurant? For instance, my HOA has a community center and you can rent out rooms in it (some are big). Because the shower is not during a "meal" time, you could serve light appetizers and cake.

If I were invited to a shower at a restaurant, I would be surprised that I was expected to pay for my own food.

megd06

maybe find a different venue--whether it be someone's house (a clubhouse perhaps?) or some sort of meeting hall, and label it a "come and go" shower?

Wan-naBe

it is NEVER okay to ask guests to pay for their meal, shower or otherwise. ?completely tacky and thoughtless.

i echo the PP about cutting the guest list. ?surely these aren't ALL people that must be invited. ?you can't possibly have that many grandmothers and aunts.?

kenandlaura06

No, not okay at all.  If you invite someone to a shower or party, you need to provide food for them, so asking them to pay is tacky.  Cut your guest list to something that is affordable or find a different venue option. 

KoCoLoCo

Wan-naBe:

it is NEVER okay to ask guests to pay for their meal, shower or otherwise.  completely tacky and thoughtless.

i echo the PP about cutting the guest list.  surely these aren't ALL people that must be invited.  you can't possibly have that many grandmothers and aunts. 

As seems to be my theme....exactly what Wan-naBe said.  NEVER is it acceptable to make guests pay for thier refreshments, and if it is too pricey for your hosts, then you will have to change the venue or cut the guest list.

MOHNikki

Wan-naBe:

it is NEVER okay to ask guests to pay for their meal, shower or otherwise.  completely tacky and thoughtless.

i echo the PP about cutting the guest list.  surely these aren't ALL people that must be invited.  you can't possibly have that many grandmothers and aunts. 

Exactly! You need to either cut the guest list, or find another venue. Check out a VFW or the like.  Even check out a hotel banquet room, sometimes they have good deals for and afternoon shower.

sept9thbride

I would definitely think that being invited to any shower, the meal would be included. I wouldn't expect to pay since I would of course be bringing a gift. Generally, it's cheaper to have a set menu, though than to have people order off the menu themselves. Maybe they can negotiate since it's so many people - have cheaper menu choices, bring your own cake, etc.

aynjc

The meal should definitely be included.  My hubby is from a large family so my guest list is up to 70 people.  I feel your pain!!  Luckily, my mom and mother-in-law are splitting the bills.  We found a venue that is large enough and includes food and an open bar for a good price so it worked out.  If you can't find a place that is cheap enough, maybe having 2 showers (your family & his family) would work so you can have them at someone's home?

NMAWALLACE

Why not do a pot luck type of event based off a theme of some sort or try a breakfast/brunch, which is usually cheaper than a lunch or dinner.

Jessied1982

Back in the summer I threw a lingerie shower for a friend of mine. It was very small mainly bridesmaids(she had 10). I held it at a very nice resteraunt and everyone paid for there own meal however, I did all alchole and apps.. Everyone loved it and thought it was a great idea and shower. So it really just depends on your group of friend(and only you know them well enough to know if they would be offended).

DebbieMc

You can by no means ask the guests to pay for their own food.

No way, No how, don't do it. You will look like an idiot. If you can't afford to host that type of shower, just have a cake and punch shower. 

RoxyLynn

Jessied1982:

I held it at a very nice resteraunt and everyone paid for there own meal however, I did all alchole and apps.. Everyone loved it and thought it was a great idea and shower.

I'm glad it all worked out so well, but "everyone thought it was a great idea" may not be true.  Guests are not going to tell the hostess that she threw a lousy party.  When I went to an outdoor wedding in Atlanta in the summer with no shade and my date had to be treated for heatstroke, I told the couple it was beautiful and we'd had a great time.

newlyweds1/7/05

TO: BrahimBride 

do you have something up your ass??? so judgemental--if you have nothing nice to say--don't say anything

PLEASE

Erin Mary Ackerman

newlyweds1/7/05:

TO: BrahimBride 

do you have something up your ass??? so judgemental--if you have nothing nice to say--don't say anything

PLEASE

 

Resurrecting the dead to call me out? Especially on something so obviously trashtastic as asking people to buy their own meals at a shower?  Really?

This isn't the puppies and rainbows club.  I can write what I want, and really what I wrote to the OP wasn't that bad.

But really, go have your trashy 5th shower hosted by the baby himself.  Great idea.  Oh, and host it yourself, but still have the guests buy their food.  Cause that's klassy