I need a shoulder, its like a bad dream

here4u

So the other day I posted about how DH got a letter in the mail requesting Paternity. Now we thought, yea right wtf is this all about. So he called the # to see what he needed to do and that day they couldn't give him any info on the woman or anything. So he called again yesterday and got a manager so he was able to give DH details. Now that he knows more, there is a STRONG possibility he could be this 7 year old girls father. He is on a list of names with other men, NICE HUH, so he still has to get tested and ruled out. I feel like its all a bad dream. DH was crying to me and he feels horrible about all this. I feel betrayed and hurt, but I honestly can't be bad b/c this was before we were together and he only dated this woman a few months and she never mentioned about a baby after they broke up. She is also only asking for child support as of now, not from the past so we are thinking maybe the child is sick, b/c in the letter it said child support or medical support. He and I just feel like crap b/c this is totally out of left field and we have a family of our own now, which took 2+ years to create so it would be really ironic if he did knock this woman up all those years ago after only a couple times of sex. UGH, I don't know what to think until we have all the facts. This could be bad if its true or blow over if its not. I still can't believe this could be true and happening to us.

desabean

gosh, I am so sorry this is happening. I really hope it turns out to not be him....for so many reasons. How soon will you know?

BoxTer

Wow, that's quite a tough situation. I hope that it turns out not to be true. If it does, I hope that you and DH can find a way to handle it. Hang in there.

lolalillie

(((((HUGS)))) I am SO sorry that you all are dealing with this. I hope they find the child's father and that your DH is not him. I know you don't have a lot of details but do you know when the child was born? Does your DH remember the time of year he was with her to even know if it was even possible for him to be the father? I am so sorry you all are going through this

MereD19

Oh hon that is so awful. I can't even believe it ... it's so shocking.

 

hannah&ben

Oh no hon! I'm so sorry you and DH have to go through this... I hope it all works out ok.

FWIW, medical support is a standard part of child support for non-custodial parents in most states so the child may not be sick (I'm telling you this so you don't feel so bad about it all... a sick child definitely would add to the stress of it all for me).  Also, in most states you can't ask for back child support after the child turns 4 years old (so no worries about her changing her mind and wanting more money later).

I really really hope this all works out somehow... huge hugs to you guys!!!

Hannah

Bamboo2008

Wow, that's a lot to deal with!  All I can say is try not to freak out about it too much until you have more answers.  I know that's easier said than done, though.  It won't be ideal if you find out that DH is the father, and I'm sure it will take some time for you to both deal with it emotionally, but you will find a way to handle it. I hope you don't have to, though.  Good luck!

GretchenlovesMichael

oh honey i am so sorry... wow, how overwhelming i really hope this turns out to be a non-issue and that he isn't the father. talk about something coming out of left field... i'm thinking of you and your family.

Temp159135562506975

i'm so sorry you have to go through this!  It's like a bad episode of Maurey.

I will say some prayers for you both - that it's not him.  If there are several men on the list- there are probably several more out there that she doesn't even know the names of - so it's probably a good chance it's not him. ((((HUGS))))

firemansflame

(hugs) I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

trilady2

wow, I'm so sorry that's happening to DH and you and your family - stay strong. You guys made it through if so you can make it through this, come what may. That said, I know you feel really lost right now - extra hugs and support your way.

here4u

Thanks so much already! It just feels sooo weird b/c DH didn't do anything wrong and we just want to know why the woman took so long to find out. Besides the fact that Sophie is home with us now, these last 6 months have been HELL, I can't wait for 2008 to be over!

lnle

wow, I'm so sorry about all this. what a lot of stress that you don't need right now.

charmcitygirl

All of this just seems like so much to handle right now with your little girl being home and the holidays.  I would want to know as soon as possible.  You're right...DH didn't do anything wrong and all of this happened before you were together, but I would still be upset too.

Jarms01

I hate to admit it, but I was in your shoes too.  About 2 weeks before we got married my DH got the same notice.  He admitted it might be a possibility but most likely not.  For us the mother waited 13 years before trying to find out.  Thankfully it wasn't his.  My advice is to hang in there and be supportive.  I am sorry this happend to you. 

 

Faithinlove

I am so sorry that you and Dh are going through this. This must be a complete shock for you both. You are definintely in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully things will work out and be handled quickly so that you can put this behind you.

FaithRocks

I am so sorry you're dealing with this. I can't imagine what you must be thinking and feeling right now! How overwhelming. I am sending you ::::hugs:::: and good thoughts no matter what the outcome.

SeptGirl05

Oh my gosh - I am so sorry you guys are going through this.  I hope it all works out for the best.

mcppalmbeach

I am so sorry. It does sound like a bad dream. I will pray for you that it is not your DH.I am sure this is sooo unsettling for both of you.

teeveegirl

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teeveegirl

I am so sorry that you're dealing with this.  I hope that everything works out.  (((HUGS)))

pamela-matt

I am so sorry you are dealing with this, especially at a time that should be happy and being enjoyed by everyone.  I hope this blows over quickly for your family.  (((HUGS)))

DenverGrl

What a stressful situation.  I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.  How weird that she waited this long to ask for child support.  I hope everything works out.

JGirl2005

I remember your post from the other day.  I really hope it isn't him, but you will get through this and you are very strong to not hold it against him (as it was before you were together).  But I'm sure it still hurts...

We got a letter like that a few months ago (not about child support but I think she was missing or something), but it said the name of the baby and she was born when DH was 10 or something.  He didn't even live in this state and his dad also got the same letter too!  (just because they have a weird last name and his dad also didn't live in this state at that time).

mgg

Oh man - what a crap situation for you to be finding yourselves in... I hope everything works out. Hugs.