?? for those who have lost someone close.

reynah

My cousin, who I was very close to, was murdered 6 days after ds2 was born. I thought by now that it would not be on my mind constantly, but every single day in the car, at night b4 bed, seems like all the time, I think about it. I know that it will never go away but it just has not seemed to get any easier and it happened May 29, 2008.

Does it ever get any easier or will I always think about it? I truly am ok now, I just constantly think about him, look at pics of him, pray about him, etc.

Samantha Thomas

I'm not sure it ever gets easier, but you will think about it less and less.  I think it hurts just as much 10 years down the line though.  Sorry for your loss.

xbrooklyngrl

I think its something that'll always pop into your head. Probably less and less as time passes but it'll be there.

I'm sorry for your loss!

minnasmommy

so sorry for you loss. I think it's the combination of the loss and the traumatic way your cousin died that it stays on your mind so much. I've lost both of my parents and still think of them daily. I think about my aunt and have more sadness b.c she died very recently. I have more acceptance that my parents are gone. kwim?

It does get easier with time. My dad has been gone 17 years and my mom 8. It still sucks though and I miss them so much. I know they would both be thrilled to be grandparents and I feel like Sophia was gipped. ?

MommyofAlissa

My grandma died on Feb. 9, 2006 and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her in some way. I do agree, though, as time passes, the thoughts don't bring you down so much.

rach&jay

My Nonni passed away on March 25, 2008, and I still think about it everyday.  I still cry about it, and I still miss her very much.  There are even days that I will pick up the phone to call her.  It may get easier with time, we'll see.  But at least I had some closure as my family was all there when she passed. 

I can't imagine not having been able to say goodbye, perhaps that's why it is still so much on your mind.

reynah

Oh, the story was terrible and tramatic and it was all over the news. I guess it was just b/c it was so unexpected to my family and you don't ever think something like that could happen to your own family, kwim? Thanks for the answers, maybe in a few years I won't aggonize about it so much.

DandelionMom

I think it kind of gets easier but it can still sneak up on you (especially this time of year). ?It took me almost a year before my Gramma wasn't constantly on my mind. ?If you're having a hard time sleeping or functioning on a daily basis, it won't hurt to find someone to talk to but what you describe sounds pretty normal for such a big, dramatic loss. ?:(

(((hugs)))?

belle204

My cousin passed away when I was 18 (10 yrs ago) and it hurt so much. I left for college shortly after and I used to cry so much. I thought I saw her, smelled her... it was hard. I wrote one of my freshman papers about her and it was actually kind of cathartic. It still hurts and I still think about her but all the time like I did then. I know it sounds nuts but I still "talk" to her when I think of her b/c I like to think she's still watching/listening. My way of coping I guess. You'll never forget and will always have a certain hurt but it will lessen some over time. Everyone grieves differently so give yourself time. I can't imagine losing someone that way and know it has to be difficult. I might think about looking for a local support group for people who have gone through similar losses.  (((hugs)))

Tracy1011

First, I'm very sorry for your loss.

 I have lost a ton of people, unfortunatley, the most close to my heart was my father almost 9 years ago.

I think about him all of the time, but now the thoughts/memories make me smile more than they make me sad. I feel like he has missed so much from me getting married to having the grandson he always wanted and never got to meet.  But since so much time has passed, the thoughts I have of him make me smile more and cry less.

I think you'll feel the same in time.  Good luck and hugs to you!

hopefulmom

I've lost both of my parents, a sister and a brother.  You will never forget but it does get easier to remember.  I'm sure because of the "way" he died has something to do with it.  Try to just remember all the good times you had together and not even think about the fact that you will never be able to do those things again.  Sorry for your loss.