...unless I do it myself. And I hate that. I run into it at work and with DD. I know I can get her down better than DH. Better and faster. But that is not going to help DH (or me) at all on the nights when i am not here. He has to learn to do it himself. She has to get used to mommy not being the only one.
You would think when DH tries to put her down, I would relax. I mean he relaxes and sometimes fall asleep while I am doing it. So I can do it too right? Not so much. Even when DH would attempt a night feeding I would stay awake with him. I simply cannot relax and I don't know why. I have to be out of the house in order to not get so antsy and even then after awhile I still do.
Tomorrow is DHs first whole day taking care of her by himself. I am working. I am going to be anxious and texting him all day. He will probably be texting me too. Because you would think after 4 months of her life and the numerous times I have told him and he has seen what her "routine" is, he would have actually paid attention. I think its quite pathetic and a bad sign when your DH asks you to write down her "schedule" and how to handle things. I never got written instructions, so neither do you! Maybe you should have put down your farking remote control helicopter long enough to bond more with your daughter.
Sorry this seems like a blog post. I could never post this on there b/c he reads my blog. I just had to get that off my chest! Thanks
Re: Somethings just can't get done right...
Thank god we can vent here, right?
Men are just wired with different DNA when it comes to kids. I was talking about it with anothe rmom tonight. It's like, if we leave the house, we are constantly thinking of what our kid is doing, is she sleeping, eating, etc. When guys leave the house, "solo mode" comes into play, and they just assume it is being taken care of. I am also very cautious of every moment when I am gone, wondering what is going on with DD. I really don't know how I am going to do when I go back to work. Sigh. I hate thinking about it.
My son is getting close to 8 months and my DH still doesn't really "get" his routine. Its just the difference between a mother and a father. At the beginning, I was the same way as you...standing over him, making sure he was doing things the way I did them, but all that did was make him resentful and never allow me to have a break. He is going to do things differently than you, without a doubt. He's gonna screw things up. She's going to scream her head off for 10 minutes before he thinks "maybe she is hungry" and he's going to leave her in a shirt with spit up a little longer than you would like. But it will be ok! None of that is going to kill her and the more he does it, the better he will be able to take care of her. You might even find he does some things better than you (gasp, I know - we can hardly believe it!) But my DH is much better giving baths than me.
The first day my DH had our son all alone he gave him way too much food (I mean I think he was constantly shoving a bottle in his face) and didn't put him down at his normal nap times, but when I got he had a clean diaper and was happy....so it was fine!
It will be ok...just try to relax and not worry too much.
isnt that the truth?!?
i know exactly how you feel. it used to be the same way in our house. thankfully when we moved and dhs work schedule changed he jumped in (or maybe was pushed a little, who would do a thing like that
) and really does a lot w/ ben. even still i m always up if bens up and freaking out if daddy is putting him to bed instead of me (even though daddy does just fine). sometimes men just need that extra push of the pressure being on to "get it". maybe once in a while you can go out while dh puts her to bed - so you can have a little break and they can get used to each other.
i hope the first day of daddy daycare goes well and that it just gets better from here!! good luck!