How to deal...

MissLee54

I was just replying to another post when I thought that I should probably start my own to vent on this certain subject and maybe get some feed back from you all. I was replying to the thread on why people were scared to tell their parents they were pregnant.

Long story sort I started to go on about how I was not scared telling mine or DH's parents or the rest of our family for that matter BUT I was absolutely terrified telling my older brothers GF.

The thing is they've been together for almost 7 years now and she doesn't even have a ring and that's very frustrating for her, it is for all of us because we all thought they would have been married and done having kids by now but here I am married and having a baby before her. I knew that she would be a little jealous but I also thought she'd try to put it behind her and try to be happy and supportive but she's not, at all and she's not even trying. She's honestly cold towards me about the whole thing, doesn't ask how I'm feeling or anything. Not like I'm in desperate need for her attention, but it'd still be nice for her to show she cares a little...especially since she was my Maid of Honor just 4 months ago!!

At a friends Halloween party this past October as soon as someone asked me about the baby, or even mouthed the word baby she would leave the room. I'm just very disappointed and hurt. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to talk about anything to do with the baby when she's around because I'm afraid of upsetting her...it's like walking on egg shells when she's around. I'm honestly just hoping she'll come around some day soon and be excited with us.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?

Kyla Sisco

Honestly momma you should be very happy that you are having a baby and not let one person spoil the experience for you. It's not your fault that your brother hasn't asked her to marry him or that they haven't had kids yet. I she can't be happy for you how does she expect anyone to be happy for her when the time finally arrives? Also acting with an attitude I don't think would make your brother any more inclined to tie the knot with her. I would let her know how you are feeling and tell her that you would appreciate a little more support so you don't feel like you are walking on eggshells all the time. You should be happy and excited and expressing it! I hope she can get past it soon! I mean what does that say about how she will interact with the baby once born??!? I hope you work it out

PS my best friend has been with her boyfriend for 11 going on 12 years now, no mariiage, no kids, not even living together! She may have a ways to go...

smismar

I feel for her, actually.  Before we got married, DH and I had been together 8 years.  I got tired of waiting and basically did the proposing and the rest is history.  I half-joke now that if I hadn't just made the decision and told him when to show up at the church, we still wouldn't be married.  I know how she feels - your life is on permanent hold (or so it seems) while everyone else goes on doing all the things you'd like to be doing.  I give you that she should try to put on a happy face while she's around you, but I know how trying it can be to do that.

 It sounds like your brother might need a swift kick in the a$$, though.

robinmichelle

Ouch! That probably hurts, seeing as how you guys are close, but its not YOUR problem that your brother isn't moving as quickly as she'd like to be. Talk to her and tell her how bad it hurts that she can't be supportive when you thought she was your friend! If she doesn't understand how you feel, forget her. You need to enjoy every bit of this! Don't stress.

nikinoodles

My attention span is that of a 10 year old. I almost couldnt read your entire post because it was so long and one, big paragraph. However, I finished it....and my only advice is to just give your friend time. Its still very early in your pregnancy, and I'm sure she'll come around once her jealousy wears off. You are living a life that she's wanted for an obvious long time, but she will come to terms with it.