triplea1819

Makinroom4baby

triplea1819:

i already think he is autistic, but the dr said he is too social.  smiles waves hi at people.  playes coy with them.  every one tells me no way he is autistic because of how social he is.  just says no words.  for a while, he said mama, dada, up, hi, bubble, doggy (once).  but now he is down to just signing -more, all done, and help.  just whines and grunts, ohh and tantrums the rest of the time. 

 

Okay I know you are discouraged and probably just not ready to be receptive or to talk to someone about it right now, so I'm just going to list what caused me to act further with Jayden's issues. A few things you've said about your DS so far makes me think that I can help you with what steps to take next...

First of all, Jayden was VERY verbal at 13 months old. He said over 15 words including daddy, momma, dog, go, wow, etc. As he got older, the words disappeared. Mainly daddy, but today, at 2 yrs old, Jayden is down to having only 7-10 words and we rarely hear more than 5 words a day, RARELY! The words we hear daily are Momma, eat, and please. We are starting to hear car when he plays, but we don't expect to hear more b/c he just doesn't say more. It's mostly babbling. So it makes sense to me when you say your son used to talk and now doesn't. He's 18 months and around 18 months is when we noticed something was up with Jayden.

We thought Jayden was autistic, but he's very social especially with adults. He refuses to play with kids his age, but he loves his 11 yr old cousin. Probably b/c she is old enough to understand his gestures. He trusts adults b/c they understand him. But let a kid his age come too close, or even look at him and he screams as if someone is killing him. I had to pull him out of toddler storytime at the library b/c of this. Also, he has horrible behavior issues. Tantrums being number one, mainly in public. And he bangs his head on stuff when he gets upset. All of this is related to a sensory issue. Also, he does not eat. He screams at food. Does not try new things ever. So trust me, I know it's frustrating. If any of this sounds similar to what you are going through, please email me. He's 18 months so you can help him to get better. (((HUGS)))

mznia504 at hotmail dot com

triplea1819

Hi-  thank you for that.  some of that is definitly Ethan.  Ethan did say about 8 words, mama, dada, bubble, yes, no, doggy (once), up, i think there was 1 more.  but now he is down to just screaming.  every once in a while he babbles, dadada.  then he whines and cries because he is SOOO frustrated. 

 he was physically delayed for a long time.  he did not roll until 11 months.  but then rolled, crawled pulled up, in 2 days.  but then did not walk till 15.5 months.  and i was told physical delay followed by speech delay is an autistic characteristic.

When you say sensory issue, all senses, or hearing sensory, etc? 

Touch wise, Ethan does not have a sensory issue.  he eats everything.  he touches any food I put in front of him.  then puts it in his mouth to try it. 

but hearing wise he may have a sensor issue because he puts his fingers in his ears a lot, and hates loud noises. 

Makinroom4baby

Sensory can be any sense. Jayden's is tactile (touch) so he is VERY rough with things and thrives to touch and feel pressure, which is why he bangs his head and slams himself to the floor. Hes VERY accident prone.

Auditory issues would certainly mean that he's sensitve to loud noises. He probably is very irritable in loud places. In fact, the therapist believes Jayden may have a bit of an auditory issue also b/c he freaks out in loud places (like at Disney) and he is never comfy in a restaurant unless I have him inside a booth between myself and a wall. You can browse this website https://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/child-developmental-checklist.html

and there is also a checklist there that you can fill out and show the therapist. If they still tell you to do what they've told you to do, please find a new therapist. I also recommend the Out of Sync Child and Raising a Sensory Smart Child. Reading those books helped me to better understand my son and why he does certain things. It's given me more patience. I wish I could say the same for DH b/c he still thinks Jayden is just clumsy, but if he would just read the books he'd understand. Please contact me if you ever need to vent or have a question. It's very frustrating I know!

triplea1819

1 more question, if you are still on.  kinda personal if you do not mind.

how did you face it emotionally that he regressed with his words?  that he cried/whined a lot.  how did you handle it that it really was not your fault, and that there was something wrong outside of anything you have done? 

 i feel like this is all my fault.  that if i did more when he was smaller he would have developed normally and nothing was wrong.  and I am having a hard time with that.  I felt this way with his physical delays as well.  just can not get over the feeling..

Makinroom4baby

triplea1819:

1 more question, if you are still on.  kinda personal if you do not mind.

how did you face it emotionally that he regressed with his words?  that he cried/whined a lot.  how did you handle it that it really was not your fault, and that there was something wrong outside of anything you have done? 

 i feel like this is all my fault.  that if i did more when he was smaller he would have developed normally and nothing was wrong.  and I am having a hard time with that.  I felt this way with his physical delays as well.  just can not get over the feeling..

I still blame myself actually, even though, honestly I know it's nothing I did. I always question, though, did I not spend enough time with him? Do I keep the house to quiet? Did I make him worse by punishing him for things he couldn't help before we knew that he had a problem. It's hard, but I do believe kids are born with sensory disorders and that it takes something drastic to happen (like a major delay) for the parent to realize there is a problem. I admit, I got VERY frustrated when he stopped talking and started having the awful tantrums. I was pissed with him b/c I felt like b/c of him I could no longer get out of the house. I felt like he had just turned into a bad child. I still get embarrassed in public when he screams when someone looks at him, b/c no one else knows or understands that he has the disorder so they just assume hes a bad kid. It's really hard. I pray alot and remind myself that he needs me to be patient and understanding b/c the world isn't.

triplea1819

thank you for answering.  It is really hard for me to deal with his whinyness.  i think that is the hardest.  because I know he is whiny for something.  but no idea what.  I usually have to try 10 things.  the last thing is usually it.  today was the first time that he actually did it in a store and I had to leave. 

 i feel awful about his delays.  i work from home, and i feel like if I had just left my job and spent that time with him he would not be like this.  he would not have been delayed at all.  i even decided to enroll him in toddler school/day care to be with other kids to try and get him to progress more.  physically he is doing great, but expressive language, he is not good at all. 

 thank you for all your advice.  i appreciatte it.

marchbaby

Butting in...I don't know a whole lot about your sons issues but I recall you mentioning he had some sort of digestive issues or something in the past, difficulty to grow and gain weight...

Anyways, I saw a documentary awhile back about a child who had digestive issues.  They discovered that b/c he wasn't able to absorb nutrients properly he was having difficulty learning etc.  They need the nutrients and fat in food to develop their whole bodies, brains included.  Once the stomach issues were resolved (with him it was celiac and he went on a special diet) he started progressing rapidly.  

Anyways, just a thought...give him some time now that his physical ailments have improved. Also, my son is almost 2 and speaks very few words.  We just started working with EI and he's definately improving.  I'm not going to worry about it unless the doctors seem concerned (which they don't).  And my son had fluid in his ears which makes talking more difficult so we are now trying to treat that.  

Just some thoughts for you...