Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Speaking of 2nd showers

I got a question for the wedding ettiquite nerds here

 My brother just got engaged on Saturday and I'm so happy because I absolutely LOOOOOVE his fiance. I mean I love her so much I already refered to her as Ollie's "Auntie Maren" but my brother has been married before.  What's the ettiquite for throwing her a shower from my side of the family?  Is it rude to ask for gifts for the wife to be of my brother, since we already threw a shower for his last wife?

I really want to throw her a shower, but I'm not sure what everyone else would think. 

 

 

Re: Speaking of 2nd showers

  • Im no "etiquette nerd" but what if you just did like a gift card shower?  Just instruct everyone to bring a $20-$30 (or pick a demonination) gift card to their favorite place.  This way, it does take much stress on the family's part to think of a gift and she will still get some great stuff. 

     I personally wouldnt be offended to go to the shower of my brother's 2nd wife if it was her first wedding.  If its the 2nd for both, then a shower may not be the best idea, IMHO.

  • I would definitely throw her a shower.  The shower is really for the bride anyway.  Plus it doesn't have to be something huge.  I'm sure whatever is done she will appreciate it.  It's a nice way to welcome her into the family.

  • Loading the player...
  • I would give her a shower.  It's her first wedding.  Why should she be left out because his first wife got to have one because she married him first.  I don't think this is a second shower at all. It will be her first.  Sounds like the only second is his marriage.  Not her fault. Party on!!!
  • I second throwing the shower. It is to celebrate the two of them getting married and that has not happened before. I personally don't like the idea of a gift card shower b/c I don't like to be told what to bring as a present in any situation. I think just do a normal shower for her for whatever they may want or need. Is this her first wedding? If so she should have the fun in registering (if she wants) and doing everything as traditional as she wants.?
  • Yeah it's her first marriage, and you are all confirming what I think.  She shouldn't have to suffer because my brother married the woman with the personality of cardboard first.  he was the stupid one, not her. ;)
  • Definitely throw her a shower. 

    I love the name Maren, btw. 

  • well usually it is someone from the bride's side of the family who throws the shower.  But if you want to throw her her a shower, i don't see anything wrong with that.
  • It's okay to throw her a shower because it is her first marriage.
    My cousin got remarried, and his wife had never been married.
    So, we threw her a HUGE shower and had a great time. From what I understood, as long as she had never been married before, then game on.
    Have fun!?
  • imageSweet_Lady:
    well usually it is someone from the bride's side of the family who throws the shower.  But if you want to throw her her a shower, i don't see anything wrong with that.

     

    Umm yeah, have you ever been part of a catholic family?  people here have 3-4 showers each usually. Since when are brides limited to one shower thrown by her family?  And technically bridesmaids are supposed to throw showers. 

  • The showers are for the bride, so go ahead. :o)
  • Totally acceptable. I see it as a fresh start for both of them, why not?

    I love the name Maren, too.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • imageeowynmn:

    imageSweet_Lady:
    well usually it is someone from the bride's side of the family who throws the shower.? But if you want to throw her her a shower, i don't see anything wrong with that.

    ?

    Umm yeah, have you ever been part of a catholic family?? people here have 3-4 showers each usually. Since when are brides limited to one shower thrown by her family?? And technically bridesmaids are supposed to throw showers.?

    ?

    wtf?? DH and I are both catholic, but I didn't get multiple showers! Someone should have ?passed this memo on to our families! ;-) jk

    However, if we're talking "traditional etiquette," I second the point that bridal showers are technically supposed to be thrown by the maid of honors/bridesmaids. The baby shower is technically supposed to be thrown by the in-laws. With that said, both my showers were thrown by my mom and sister (sister was maid of honor). In-laws didn't even come to my baby shower, let alone throw me one.?

    Also, my husband was previously married, but like I said, I still had a bridal shower and would've been pretty pissed if I didn't get to just b/c he was married 10 years ago! However, DH's mother did happen to throw the first wife a big bridal shower. I guess I was lucky that she even attended mine. :-P

  • imageWYEngTeacher:
    imageeowynmn:

    imageSweet_Lady:
    well usually it is someone from the bride's side of the family who throws the shower. But if you want to throw her her a shower, i don't see anything wrong with that.

     

    Umm yeah, have you ever been part of a catholic family? people here have 3-4 showers each usually. Since when are brides limited to one shower thrown by her family? And technically bridesmaids are supposed to throw showers.

     

    wtf?? DH and I are both catholic, but I didn't get multiple showers! Someone should have passed this memo on to our families! ;-) jk

    However, if we're talking "traditional etiquette," I second the point that bridal showers are technically supposed to be thrown by the maid of honors/bridesmaids. The baby shower is technically supposed to be thrown by the in-laws. With that said, both my showers were thrown by my mom and sister (sister was maid of honor). In-laws didn't even come to my baby shower, let alone throw me one.

    Also, my husband was previously married, but like I said, I still had a bridal shower and would've been pretty pissed if I didn't get to just b/c he was married 10 years ago! However, DH's mother did happen to throw the first wife a big bridal shower. I guess I was lucky that she even attended mine. :-P

     I'm a bridesmaid so I guess that takes care of that. :)
     

  • P.S. Now that I'm on a roll, I can't help but throw in here DH's brother's wife is currently pregnant. MIL is "co-hosting" her baby shower (with SIL's mother). I love how the talks all excitedly to me about it and shows absolutely no shame whatsoever that she didn't even ATTEND mine. Her excuse at the time, in case you're wondering? She "doesn't really believe in showers" and "thinks it should be all about the baptism once DC arrives." She also was uncomfortable "driving so far by herself," and was "worried she wouldn't find my parents' house on her own." Yeah, she's been there before.

    But I'm not bitter. Really.?

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"