Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Advice Needed

DS is turning 1 on Jan. 3rd and we are throwing a huge party on Jan. 17th at a local children's musuem. It is tradition in my husbands family to have a lot of people at the 1st birthday so we are inviting about 100. I know, crazy right! Anyway I was thinking about coming up with some cute wording to include in the invite that ask people to donate to DS's college fund instead of bringing a toy as a gift... I don't mind clothes but if more than half or even half of the people got him toys we would have no room in our house for everything...My girlfriend did this for her daughter and I thought it was a good idea. I don't want to use her wording though. So here are my questions.

1) is this tacky to do?

2) do you know where I could find wording that is tactful??

Re: Advice Needed

  • Tacky, tacky, tacky.

    ESPECIALLY since you're inviting 100 people.  Seriously?!
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    DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
  • You can't ask for money for your child.  I would be insulted no matter how it was phrased in your invitation.

    If you don't want that many toys or clothes, you could write "Your presence at our celebration is gift enough," or something like that

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  • I agree with pp...I don' t think there is a tactful way to ask for money.  HOWEVER, I don't see anything wrong with putting the word out through the grapevine.  You know that people are going to ask you, your parents, your MIL, etc so I would tell them to suggest this when people ask. 
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  • I would not do this. You could put the word out there to your closest relatives, but not to the entire guest list. We have a very large family and many friends (our wedding had more than 200 people and we are still in close touch with almost everyone there). We will probably end up with a similarly sized party for DD's 1st birthday and I've already decided that we will ask people who are so inclined to make a donation to a children's charity in DD's name. And no matter what I say, the grandparents and our siblings will end up getting DD presents anyway.

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  • Thanks for the advice. I figured it may not be a good idea but I was not offended at all when I received the invite to my girlfriends daughter's birthday. Everyone is different though and I don't want to offend anyone. Thanks again.
  • I personally would not put it on the invitation.  You could comment to your close relatives that DS really doesn't need toys or clothes & that maybe you are thinking of opening a savings account for him.  They could spread the word to people who ask for gift ideas that way.  It may not reach everyone, but it would cut down on some of the gifts. 
  • If you end up with too many gifts, you could donate them to a charity for the less fortunate.  Just an idea.
  • I think it's tacky, too. Sorry.

    You could always return the gifts you don't need and put the money toward college.

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