I googled "Do bananas cause gas?"

Jodi&Joe

The short answer --- they can and do.

But I found this site -- found it hilarious!

First of all, it?s clear that I?m becoming the leading source of random banana information (or misinformation, actually) on the world wide web. And the stuff people want to know about bananas? It doesn?t give me much hope for the future of our species, to be honest.

And let me assure you, every single one of these search queries is totally real and NOT MADE UP. I copied them straight out of Google Analytics, misspellings and all.

10 things you want to know about banana
Fortunately, we have the google searches to answer this one?

are bananas hairy
No.

are bananas fattening
Like, how many bananas are we talking about eating here?

are bananas bad for your teeth
really? You?re worried about THAT? Get a life, seriously.

are brown spots on bananas contagious?
Yeah, I think so. I knew this lady who caught them and she turned spotted all over. Be afraid? be very afraid.

is it ok to rub banana on facial skin every day?
But WHY would you want to?

can you feed your tropical fish bananas
Ok, seriously, WHY?!

do bananas make you poop?
Let me give you the quickie primer on how the body works. You eat something; then you poop. Pretty simple, actually.

bananas make boobs big?
Seriously? SERIOUSLY?

how do they put stickers on bananas
Let?s see, how do I say this? they stick ?em onto the banana. Next?

how do you know when bananas have gone bad
they shave stripes into their eyebrows, get a tattoo, and start carrying a gun.

bad things about being a banana
well, there?s the brown spots. And the being eaten. And the truth is, bananas get blamed for a whole lot of weird stuff. Take the following queries, for example.

banana causes double chins
no, eating too much causes double chins. I?m just saying?

do bananas cause gas
is there anything that DOESN?T cause gas? Or is that just my own personal problem?

banana beauty tips
Well, supposedly you rub them on your FACIAL SKIN. And they make your boobs big. But be careful of the brown spots? I hear they?re contagious.

good bananas gone bad
I?m thinking this is the next major Pixar film. Am I right?

things to make with old bananas
Honestly I can think of way more things NOT to make with old bananas.

Then there are the other non-banana but still really weird searches. I try to envision the people who type this stuff in and I just CAN?T. Take, for example?

what is that heavy feeling near my heart
mmm? gas?
 

 

LittleMamaB

"how do you know when bananas have gone bad
they shave stripes into their eyebrows, get a tattoo, and start carrying a gun."

LMAO.